A County Saturday
The Stockport Bucket List - Part 1
Monday 12 June 2023
In 2019, the Manchester Evening News published an article with this headline:
I’ve decided to give all 65 a go for your reading pleasure. There’s things on the list I’ve already experienced dozens of times (a night at Bredbury Hall, Bamboo till two); things I’ve done hundreds of times (a trip on the 192, a train over the viaduct); and things I’ve never done (a meal at Where The Light Gets In, a film at Redrock). I’m excited to try them all, whether for the first or umpteenth time.
So where do we start on this journey? Vernon Park? Foodie Friday? Stockport Plaza? All good suggestions, but I’m sure you’ll agree there’s only one place to kick off this SK odyssey.
The Manchester Evening News article mentioned the atmosphere at Edgeley Park. That’s not always been something to savour, especially in recent years, but the atmosphere at County, and indeed across the town, seems to be getting better and better at the moment. That’s the angle I wanted to use to kick off this series, experiencing the sights and sounds of a County matchday, as Salford came to town last month for the second leg of the League Two play-off semi-final. It turned out to be quite a day…
I’d like to say a big thank you to Paul and all the team at Colourtone for sponsoring today’s edition. See below for further details on what they have to offer.
Des Junior
The atmosphere outside Bask is chilled. If a play-off semi-final against a local rival is to be this afternoon’s storm, I’ve found the calm that precedes it. A lone bouncer on the door is interested only in his bacon butty; a young dad in a County shirt is feeding his baby; another fan is slumped back in his chair with his eyes closed, soaking up the glorious rays of sunshine bathing Exchange Square on this beautiful May morning.
Inside, co-owner Benji Taylor is casually rolling barrels of beer between the bar and the back door. It’s not just County with work to do today. “I’m confident,” he says, taking a breather. “I said after an hour at Salford last week that I’d be happy for it to finish 1-0. We’ve got a real chance today.”
Benji’s not the only County fan eagerly anticipating a trip to Wembley. Despite Salford winning the first leg 1-0, there’s real confidence among Hatters, with a general consensus that Salford could and should be arriving in town this afternoon with a much bigger cushion. With County’s top four scorers ruled out of the game at Moor Lane last weekend, aside from Ryan Croasdale hitting the crossbar, Dave Challinor’s men never really threatened. But thanks to some resolute defending and yet more Ben Hinchliffe heroics, it feels like County can certainly overturn the deficit today, especially having gone six months without losing at Edgeley Park.
If County fans are feeling the nerves, they’re doing extremely well to hide them. With Blossoms playing in the background, and everyone tucking into fry-ups, the mood is so jovial it almost feels like we’ve fast forwarded to June and we’re already in League One, waiting for the fixtures to come out. I spot three Hatters – Steve, Matt and Rick – knocking back a round of Jägerbombs. Perhaps they’re not feeling as confident as the rest?
“Not at all,” says Steve. “We’ll get the job done today. We just need a pick-me-up. A couple of us work at the casino in Ashton. I haven’t been to bed yet. I woke up at 4pm yesterday, worked the night shift, then came straight to Bask this morning.”
You can’t fault the dedication of a County fan.
The atmosphere in the back room of The Armoury is merry. That’s hardly surprising when you’re sat enjoying a pint of Dizzy Blonde with your mates, and even less surprising when that pint hasn’t cost you a penny. The first couple of rounds today are on County fan Mike Wilson, who’s sent over £100 from Australia for his mates to boost the Armoury coffers with. Mike’s one of 57 members of an eclectic WhatsApp group that includes County fans from across the world – exotic locations like France, Germany and Edgeley are all represented – and because he gets “a lot of enjoyment and amusement” from the group, he’s decided to treat some of the other 56 participants to an end-of-season beer.
Mike was born and raised in Hazel Grove before moving to Australia in the late 70s. “I suspect the last game I saw was the Old Trafford Robbery in 1978,” he tells me (via WhatsApp, obviously, as The Scarf My Father Wore budget doesn’t extend to interviewing County fans on the other side of the world face-to-face just yet).
“I sort of lost interest for a few years when it was close to impossible to get news of the Fourth Division results in rural New South Wales, but with the internet and email it became accessible again. I joined an early County email list back in the day, which was then followed by other incarnations over the years.”
The particular angle for today’s article is all about capturing a big game at Edgeley Park and the senses that can be delightfully heightened on a special SK3 afternoon: the roar of the crowd, the sight of a human wall of blue and white, the smell of the flooded toilets in the Cheadle End. But what’s it like for a County fan on the other side of the world?
“It’s a bugger not to be there,” admits Mike. “But with streaming at least I can watch the games, although some of the inconvenient 2am kick-offs get skipped.
“I follow my local team over here, the hapless Newcastle Jets, but it’s hard to get excited at the moment due to a chronic lack of atmosphere at home games, and little in the way of pubs like The Armoury or Bobby Peel. Away games are a struggle with the distances – four are feasible to get to without a plane, but it's an hour’s drive to Newcastle first. Far easier to stream it.
“Hopefully me and my wife will be over soon so I can see County again. I was last in Blighty in 2000 and caught up with a few of the usual suspects then. I even played a game for the Mad Hatters, although I certainly won’t be playing football next time I’m over. That particular appearance was my swansong, and even back then I was clearly already too old and slow.”
The atmosphere in the front room of The Armoury is comforting. This one’s more of a personal feeling, although I’m sure many others feel the same, returning as they do every other Saturday, month after month, season after season. I look around and see County shirts from every decade of my life being modelled. It’s a beautiful sight. The editors of Vogue and GQ might disagree with that – some of the shirts have clearly withered over time, with colours fading and logos peeling, while certain models wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a catwalk with glimpses of beer belly peeking out from underneath the material – but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and this beholder will never not be enamoured with this scene of familiarity before him.
It’s not just the shirts; it’s the faces. Faces I wouldn’t recognise in a life lived without County. But these faces have been a constant feature of my life. Some have become close friends, others I have a quick chat with every week, while many are simply on nodding terms – strangers in any other walk of life, but people I’m connected to through this shared passion of ours.
County could be bottom of the North West Counties League, losing 5-0 every week, yet these same faces would still be in The Armoury before every home game. How could anyone not find that comforting? In an ever-changing modern world – which seems to be disintegrating more and more with every video of a YouTuber terrorising an innocent member of the public for views, with every Piers Morgan rant on Twitter, with every unnerving development in artificial intelligence – this little pub on a roundabout in Shaw Heath is a sanctuary from all the nonsense. The world outside seems to move at a million miles an hour, but within these four walls, life moves at a slower pace. (And not just because more and more of the pub’s ageing patrons are waiting on hip replacements.)
Every face I see evokes a County memory; every face I see has their own tale to tell. Reminiscing with the people in this room could help me to write a book, never mind an article. I’ve a play-off semi-final to get to, so I can’t speak to everyone today. I do have a natter with Gordon Cundill, though, who’s been following the Hatters for a mere 59 years.
Gordon tells me: “My first game was Saturday 14 November 1964. Wigan at home in the first round of the FA Cup. We won 2-1. Mike Eckersall equalised with a penalty before John Nibloe scored the winner.” That’s verbatim, by the way, and factually precise. You might think the memories of a 72-year-old County fan would need to be fact-checked and edited, but Gordon’s memory is spot on, casually regaling me with details from his first game six decades ago as if he’s telling me what happened on last night’s Coronation Street.
The human brain constantly erases old unnecessary information so new memories can be stored, but County fans will always remember dates and details from their first time – the first step in a lifelong attachment. Thankfully, the brain doesn’t seem to get rid of the Saltergate nights either, or the Nuneaton afternoons, or the Tony Dinning penalties at Maine Road. If I can catch one last glimpse of Stephen Gleeson’s volley at Wycombe when my life flashes before my eyes, I’ll die a happy man.
The atmosphere inside Edgeley Park is something else. It truly is something else on days like today. I’m biased, obviously; my love for County, like most reading this, is unconditional (even though they’ve abused and neglected me for most of my adult life). But I’m willing to admit the atmosphere in SK3 hasn’t been some wondrous life-affirming experience every time I’ve set foot inside the old place. Atmosphere virgins you’ll find in places like Liverpool and Glasgow and Newcastle will tell you their stadiums send the Richter scale into overdrive every single time their team are at home, but I don’t care which team you follow, there’s always a certain degree of correlation between the noise in the stands and the performance on the pitch. The atmosphere on the opening day of the 2013-14 season as Boston turned us over 4-1 wasn’t electric. The atmosphere when AFC Fylde won 4-0 at Edgeley Park wasn’t deafening. And I’d be amazed if the noise from the 812 fans in attendance for our FA Trophy replay against Barrow even reached the houses on Hardcastle Road.
Today, however… wow. Just… wow. Edgeley Park is magical on an afternoon like this, with over 10,000 packed into the place. The game hasn’t even kicked off and I’ve genuinely got goosebumps as a belting rendition of “The Scarf My Father Wore” reverberates around the ground, followed by a rousing rendition of “Hello, hello, we are the County boys”. I’d absolutely hate for us to ever leave this place.
The atmosphere is tense to begin with, as Salford start the brighter of the two, with Hinchliffe needing to be on full alert to deny Matt Smith, Conor McAleny, Callum Hendry and Stevie Mallan. There’s no denying the visitors are the better team early on, but it has to be said they’re benefiting hugely from some of referee Ben Toner’s decisions. Everything seems to go Salford’s way before the break. The loudest cheer in the opening 45 minutes isn’t for a goal but a free-kick, when Toner finally gives us something after Smith climbs all over Fraser Horsfall. Normality is restored within 30 seconds when Toner blows his whistle for the softest of County challenges. “Cheating get,” screams a flabbergasted Hatter behind me.
The atmosphere at half-time is one of frustration. And that’s putting it very, very mildly. Even Gordon Ramsay might wince at some of these expletives filling the air of the Cheadle End concourse, following that first half display from the referee. At this juncture I should probably point out the straw that broke the camel’s back – the Salford player that nearly broke Connor Evans’ back by smashing him into the Pop Side advertising hoardings just before the break. I overhear County fans discussing whether their lad should have seen yellow or red. That’s up for debate. What is absolutely undeniable, however, is the fact some sort of card should have been issued, especially with three County players already on a booking, but Toner went nowhere near his pocket. Hence the toxic atmosphere over the half-time beers.
It’s a lot more pleasant outside. Full marks to the singer in the County Courtyard for the most appropriate song choice I’ve ever heard, as home fans are serenaded with “Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot” as they wipe the sweat from their foreheads. It is bloody warm today.
I spot Ian Hiles and Andy Reding enjoying a pint, which quite clearly isn’t their first of the day. I come to this conclusion by the fact there’s a slight slur to Ian’s opening welcome, and a slight optimism to his second half prediction: “Don’t worry Des, Hippolyte’s going to come off the bench and we’ll win this 3-0.”
I do love the unwavering confidence of a well-lubricated County fan. In fact, you could choose pretty much any County fan (who’s had a pint or two), at any ground in the country, and have the following half-time conversation with them.
“So random County fan, you’ve had three men sent off, you’re 8-0 down, and you’re kicking uphill in the second half. How do you think you’ll do?”
“It’s not going to be easy but I’m confident we can still nick a point.”
The atmosphere in the 68th minute as Tanto heads a bullet of an equaliser into the Cheadle End goal is the loudest I’ve ever heard at Edgeley Park. I’m sticking by that, even as you read this now. We might need VAR if we’re comparing it with Alun Armstrong’s equaliser against Everton, but that explosion of noise today is something that will stay with me for a very long time. With a Wembley final agonisingly slipping through your fingertips with every passing minute (especially with a tosser of a referee on your back), the sheer ecstasy of a moment like that, which keeps an entire season alive, is something I don’t think you’ll ever be able to truly convey to someone who doesn’t follow football. If you could bottle it, you’d make fucking millions.
There’s tears in my eyes as I hug my mate Fletch; there’s tears in Fletch’s eyes as he lifts his daughter Betsy in the air; there’s tears in the eyes of Gary Wallwork and Nick Morris, two County fans sat next to me who started following the club in the 60s. As a fan of an unglamorous lower league football team, you can suffer years of misery, spending thousands of pounds in the process, but that single second of euphoria can make it all worthwhile. If you could bottle it, you’d make fucking billions.
The atmosphere with thousands of County fans on the pitch at the end is heartwarming. We’re at Wembley, by the way. I realise I’ve skipped the remaining 22 minutes of normal time, the extra 30, plus Hinchliffe’s heroics in the penalty shootout. There’s loads of match reports and YouTube videos if you want to relive all of that. It’s moments like this I’m here to capture today: the kids on dads’ shoulders bursting with pride, the tears in the eyes of grown men and women, the togetherness of a town and a team on the rise.
Back in the Cheadle End, as the pitch is cleared and we wait for the players to return, I spot Will Howells. As human beings, we’re all extremely complex; I don’t think we ever truly know how someone else is feeling, do we? But somehow, you do when you’re at the football. Will and I catch each other’s gaze, smile, shake our heads in bewilderment, then hug. There’s no words, yet we both understand one another perfectly. To share a moment like that is a special benefit of membership of a club like this.
Obviously, I have a chat with him as well. “Fucked.” That’s his first word when I ask how he’s feeling. “Can you put that?” To be fair, I think even a nun would respond in the same way having gone through the rollercoaster of emotions we’ve all experienced in SK3 this afternoon.
“When we went 1-0 up I really thought we’d get the second in normal time,” Will continues. “But when they scored in extra time I thought that was us done. I had no idea who was going to come out on top in the shootout. I could barely watch at times, but I’m glad I’ve been here to see this today.”
The atmosphere at The Prince Albert is nostalgic. David Frain’s here. Jordan Keane too. And Ash Palmer, who was at Wembley himself the previous Saturday, only three minutes away from promotion with his Chesterfield side before they ended up losing on penalties to Notts County. “Do you know what I love about Stockport County?” says Ben Robinson. “You can shake your former captain’s hand in a pub on Edgeley and he loves it. It’s great. You don’t get this anywhere else.”
Our former captain isn’t the only guest on Castle Street today. Mark Stott turns up for a pint as well. I do have concerns the club will be put up for sale immediately as the County piss-pots and the Edgeley crazies swarm our chairman like fruit flies on a mouldy banana, but our leader seems to enjoy having a beer and a chat with his disciples.
Ben’s right. You don’t get this anywhere else. The Glazers wouldn’t pop into The Tollgate for a Carling after the game. And I couldn’t imagine Sheikh Mansour nipping into Mary D’s for a pint of gravy, or whatever it is City fans drink on a matchday. County’s a special club, though. There’s always been that unique bond between the fans and the players and staff. And right on cue, a well-known County swiller walks up to Stott, puts his arm around him, and offers a greeting of “You City bastard”. Ah, this club.
The atmosphere in the 24-hour McDonald’s is usually pretty grim. I’ve seen starving residents of war-torn villages waiting for emergency food parcels with more dignity and patience than a hen do demanding hamburgers in Maccies on a Saturday night. Then there’s the special condiments Ronald and Co serve up at the weekend, allowing you to dip your nuggets and fries into little pots of vomit and blood.
It’s pretty class in here tonight, though. “Que sera sera” is on full blast from the dozens of County fans queuing up for cheap stodge, desperately needed after the amount of booze that’s been knocked back in Bask over the last few hours. Clint Hill’s already got his food. Along with a couple of other members of the coaching staff, he’s the last man standing from the club, though technically sitting at this precise moment, absolutely demolishing a burger. County’s assistant manager lives on the Wirral, but his address for the next few hours will be Holiday Inn Express, Station Road, Stockport.
Mine too. And I can hear my bed calling. There’s just enough time for one last look around me. I love seeing lots of happy County faces. Yeah, the milkshakes and the McFlurrys are probably playing their part in this pleasant picture, but the events of the day are certainly the primary factor. I’m glad I’ve chosen this particular day for the article, a memorable one both on and off the pitch. One of the all-time great moments at the Cheadle End, a cracking County night out, and a Wembley trip to look forward to at the end of it all. Even McDonald’s is an enjoyable place to be in Stockport tonight. I’m lovin’ it.
Give your car a lick of paint
Granted, Stockport used to be a little rough around the edges. But the town’s getting a good old lick of paint these days, with fancy new offices, apartments, bars and restaurants springing up. You can’t be driving up and down the A6 in a tatty car with chipped paintwork, so give your car a nice lick of paint too. Colourtone is your go-to company for that. They’ve been servicing the automotive and industrial markets in Cheshire and Greater Manchester for decades, and carry an extensive range of car paint and industrial paints.
Visit colourtone.com for further details.
Photo of the day
Edgeley Park, Stockport
Granted, you’ve got a lovely expensive fur coat on at the moment, City. But everyone in football knows you haven’t got any knickers on underneath.
Today in SK
☕️ Food and drink ☕️
Kebabs are just £3 all day at Fishers of Cheshire(SK2). Open from 4pm till 9.30pm.
Med Monday at TRUNK (SK7) between 12pm and 9pm. Enjoy three tapas dishes for £15. T&Cs apply.
❓Quiz night ❓
The George & Dragon (SK7). 7.30pm.
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