A piss-up and a quiz in a brewery (well, distillery to be precise)
Sam Byrne and Liam Richardson are crowned champions at last night’s Big Fat Football Quiz Panel Show Thing at Stockport Gin
Thursday 22 December 2022
Dear County fans, Stopfordians, and anyone else joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Thursday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.
Never. Drinking. Again. That was the tweet from the chaps at The Scarf Bergara Wore at 10.43 this morning. To be honest, I was concerned for their hangovers today. Not everybody is capable, but Russ and Nick can definitely organise a piss-up in a brewery (well, distillery to be precise) as they did last night, with their Christmas party slash quiz at Stockport Gin. Whether they’re capable of reading yet after last night’s session, I don’t know, but for today’s main feature I’ve written a few words on last night’s fun and games in SK1.
Personally, I’m not sure if I could organise a piss-up in a brewery, but I have organised a curry in an Indian restaurant. (King of the segues, ladies and gentlemen!) With just a few days to go until Christmas, why not treat the County fan in your life to ‘A Curry with Colin Woodthorpe’ - our first live event of 2023. It’s taking place at Last Monsoon in Stockport on Monday 30 January at 7.30pm. The restaurant is pretty much next to the bus station, train station and motorway, so it’s really easy to get to. We’ve sold 50% of the tickets already; hopefully we can shift the rest and have a cracking night with one of Gary Megson’s first County signings ahead of our first season in Division One in 1997-98. Colin stayed at Edgeley Park for all of our five seasons in the First Division, and he’s got some excellent tales to share with us.
You’ll also get poppadoms, mixed starters, curry, rice and naan bread. As well as a full colour souvenir programme. All for just £20. Fancy it? Send me a text or give me a call on 07816 111150, or you can email desmondhinks@hotmail.co.uk
Finally, today’s edition is sponsored by The Site Supply Company. A big thank you to Steve Cree. Check out hivis.net if you need any workwear or high visibility clothing, and get 10% off all orders with the code TSMFW.
Des Junior
As I got home last night, Channel 4’s Big Fat Quiz of Everything 2022 was on the telly. The show featured a number of fruity funnies and close-to-the-bone comments from Jimmy Carr and his comedy guests, which we’ve come to expect from a channel that’s often courted controversy over the years: the first pre-watershed lesbian kiss on Brookside; the paedophile special on Brass Eye; Shaun Ryder swearing like a trooper on TFI Friday; single people looking for love by getting their cock and balls out on Naked Attraction.
But I suspect even Channel 4’s execs and producers would have winced at some of the sharp gags and one-liners coming from the distillery at Stockport Gin last night, as The Scarf Bergara Wore hosted their Big Fat Football Quiz Panel Show Thing. As quizmaster Russ Johnson said to contestant (and podcast co-host) Nick Lee: “You’ve got your work cut out editing this episode for our listeners.”
It was a very funny night though. Russ hosted the quiz, with Nick and Andy James (of Ate Days A Week fame) taking on the County reporting duo of Sam Byrne and Liam Richardson. In a Twitter poll before the quiz, a resounding 91% of you predicted Sam and Liam would be crowned the winners. As Nick and Andy unveiled their ‘mascot’ for the evening - bottles of Smirnoff Ice and a Tupperware container full of the Zombie cocktail - I had a hunch those 91% would be correct. I wasn’t wrong.
Round one was a County version of Channel 4’s I Literally Just Told You. Basically, had the contestants been paying attention to Russ during his opening dialogue? Sam and Liam had, scoring eight points. Andy had, scoring four points. With zero, Nick clearly hadn’t. He had lost his mobile phone to a pickpocket on the 192 earlier that week, however, so we’ll let him off for being a little distracted. Scumbag. (The pickpocket, that is, not Nick.)
The second round was all about County in 2022. Facing off against two reporters who are paid to attend every County game, home and away, I feared for Nick and Andy at this point. I was right. By the end of the round, Sam and Liam had opened up a 17-5 lead going into the interval. In Nick and Andy’s defence, I struggled with a couple of the County questions myself. I’ll stick them below for you to have a go at.
With gin glasses topped up, the second half kicked off with an ‘Instant Replay’ round. Russ had written down iconic moments from County (and other football) history on pieces of paper, for each contestant to choose, and then act out. Audience participation was allowed at this point, and I was summoned from my seat to help Nick recreate the moment Andy Robinson was sent off at Solihull as soon as he entered the pitch, for allegedly swearing at the linesman. No sooner had I returned to my seat, I was back out of it to headbutt Sam Byrne. Always thought he was a bit of a tosser. Just kidding. I’d been cast in the role of Zinedine Zidane in the 2006 World Cup final. 18-7 to the County duo by the end of this round.
The quiz came to its conclusion with a maths round, featuring all sorts of calculations with numbers like Paddy Madden’s goals for County, Carlton Palmer’s appearances and Dave Challinor’s age. At this point, with the amount of drink going down, I thought some of the contestants would struggle to spell out ‘BOOBIES’ on their calculators, let alone work out some tricky equations. But to their credit, they came up with some very impressive answers. At the end of it all, the honours went to Sam and Liam, with a 21-9 victory.
You can’t beat a Christmassy County night, so a big thank you to Paul Sharrocks at Stockport Gin for hosting, and to Russ and Nick for the invite. Inspired by last night’s ‘Instant Replay’ round, I’ve put my collar up and I’m off to kung-fu kick a Burnley fan in the chest.
Chris Thompson
On the sixth anniversary of the tragic loss of lifelong County fan Chris Thompson, a much-loved father, husband, brother, son, uncle and friend to many (as well as one of the kindest and funniest people you could ever wish to have in your life) our sincere thoughts with all of his friends and family today.
Enjoy 10% off with The Site Supply Company
To celebrate their 20th birthday, The Site Supply Company are offering The Scarf My Father Wore readers 10% off all orders until 31 December. Simply visit hivis.net and use our exclusive discount code TSMFW at checkout. For any workwear, corporate wear, high visibility clothing or PPE, The Site Supply Company have all your needs covered in one place, with their online range of 16,000 items. Not only that, but you can have your logos professionally printed and embroidered as well, with their in-house branding service.
Stockport photo of the day
Wellington Road North, Stockport
The old adage about three buses all turning up at once is alive and well in Stockport, as a trio of 192s pull up opposite Debenhams.
The only Christmas gift guide you need this year
3 sleeps to go! The Scarf My Father Wore have curated a beautiful Christmas gift guide this year, from independent businesses across the UK. Have a look at the guide if you need any last-minute stocking fillers.
Matt Walker ‘eats’ the World Cup
🇭🇷 No 23 - Croatia (Fulham Kitchen) 🇭🇷
“Amazingly, there is no specialist Croatian bar or restaurant in London. We filled the gap with Balkan pancakes in Fulham Kitchen, frequented by Aleksandar Mitrović and full of Fulham memorabilia. A smattering of Serbs, Montenegrins, Macedonians and Croats saw a comfortable Croatian win against Canada.”
One of my favourite football books is Matt Walker’s Europe United, in which the author and Fulham fan spends a whole season taking in a game in all 55 UEFA countries. Well he’s back with another fun challenge, to experience Qatar 2022 in restaurants and bars across London which represent all 32 competing nations. Matt has kindly allowed me to use his photos and I’ll bring you one each day, giving you a tasty flavour of the World Cup, in more ways than one.
Des Junior’s Great Big Review of 2022: Part 6 - June
I’m glad The Scarf Bergara Wore invited me to their quiz last night. Because if today’s main feature had to be a review of June, I’d have had to trawl through the archives on County’s official website and cobble together a load of boring old shite on friendlies and contracts and ticket office opening times during the summer.
Fortunately, I don’t have to. June’s all about the new fixtures coming out, isn’t it? Which, to be fair, we were all massively excited about, until they were released and the computer gave us Barrow and Stevenage to start with. Snore.
(I realise that makes me sound like an ungrateful twat, so can I say to Messrs Stott and Challinor, I am very appreciative of your efforts in getting us back to the Football League.)
Bunch of fives
5️⃣ County questions from last night’s quiz
On the ‘Get To Know’ YouTube episode with Dave Conlon, which team did he say he supported growing up?
Who were the goalscorers in County’s 5-0 victory over Southend?
How many times have County won 5-0 in 2022?
Ash Palmer left the club having scored how many goals for County?
Who was the only County player to receive a yellow card in the Carabao Cup tie with Leicester?
5️⃣ beers at Stockport Travelodge
Budweiser (£3.99)
Stella Artois (£4.25)
Corona Extra (£4.45)
Camden Hells (£4.45)
Peroni (£4.60)
Quiz answers
1 - Man City. 2 - Collar, Hippolyte, Madden (2), Cannon. 3 - Three: Barnet, Southend and Hartlepool. 4 - 22. 5 - Scott Quigley.
I managed to get correct two out of five live last night on those quiz questions you've selected there.. two better than I did on the arithmetic round, from which my head is still hurting/reeling (although mind you, that could just be the several Morettis/Red Stripes consumed during this most enjoyable evening)! Thank you so much for chronicling it for us Des... from the guy in the audience pic with his coat on and his eyes shut (this is why I need really to beconfined to radio... such a terrible photo-sitter!)