County v Hartlepool
To be the final game of the season, or not to be the final game of the season, that is the question
Monday 8 May 2023
I certainly didn’t think I’d be quoting Shakespeare this morning.
But I’m calm. Like, extremely calm. It’s not just me. A little poll I stuck on Twitter last night showed that 60% of County fans are fairly chilled ahead of this afternoon. I don’t think a similar poll would have reached anywhere near that percentage before Halifax, or Nuneaton, or Rochdale, or Chesterfield, or Scunthorpe.
Maybe that’s what 11 years in non-league has done to us. With each passing season, the pressure was building and building and building, until the sheer explosion of relief and ecstasy against Halifax this time last year. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be crying on the pitch at around 2.30pm today if we do it (soz, FA) but chatting to other fans and reading message boards it does appear that a Zen-like calm has descended over SK3. If we go up, incredible. If we end up in the play-offs, that’s still a fantastic achievement in our first season back in the Football League. Even if we’re still in League Two next season, we’ve got a great owner, a decent manager, some quality players, and an ever-increasing fanbase. As Sean Bean used to say on the Orange adverts, the future’s bright.
I’m calm, but I am still massively hoping this is the final time we hear from Jon Keighren, Ian Brown and Jonathan Baker this season. I don’t want to hear a single word from them about a play-off trip to Bradford or Mansfield. They’re confident anyway, with 2-0 scorelines all round, so let’s just hope those Birkenhead ruffians can do us a favour.
Today’s edition of The Scarf My Father Wore is sponsored by BGM Decorators. A big thank you to Ben. If you’re thinking of having any decorating work done over the coming weeks or months, please see below for further details.
COME ON COUNTY!
Des Junior
Des Junior loves writing about County. But he can never be arsed doing match previews. They’re a bit dull, aren’t they? Paddy Madden’s out for two games with an ingrown toenail…blah blah blah…tomorrow’s referee has handed out more cards than Moonpig…blah blah blah…County haven’t won at Birmingham since 1672.
Fortunately he’s got a number of his fellow County correspondents to call upon, so for the final time this season (please Tranmere, please Tranmere, PLEASE TRANMERE!!!) here’s the thoughts of the man on the mic, the man with the blog, and the man with everyone’s favourite Saturday morning away day show. Unfortunately, Des Junior might have to discipline his contributors today as they’ve all copied each other’s predictions, although if they turn out to be correct, I’m sure they’ll avoid a detention.
Regular readers, by the way, will I know that I put different questions to our contributors each week. Today, however, they’ve all been handed the same one:
How’s today going to pan out?
Jon Keighren, Stockport County
County 2 Hartlepool 0
It’s an early start for an early kick-off, so I’ll be in the County Courtyard on stage with a couple of players and guests an hour or so before kick-off. I’ll obviously chat to a few of the fans in there as well and try to gauge the mood amongst the supporters. It’s a weird one, the players can only do their bit and make sure of the win. The rest is in the lap of the gods (and a bunch of lads at Prenton Park). But if we do end up in fourth, we’ll go into the play-offs as the form team in the division on the back of a brilliant run of results. 81 points should be enough to go up and I’m confident we can get there. I’m going 2-0 to County.
Ian Brown, hedgegrower
County 2 Hartlepool 0
Today will be one to remember, there’s no doubt about that. It will be an early start for me as I head off to the unveiling of the Danny Bergara statue. I’ll be taking my camera to make a photographic record of the ceremony. From there it’s the grassy knoll for an hour trying to interest fans in joining the Stockport County Supporters Cooperative, then it’s into the stadium to watch the Hatters win.
After the game I’ll put together an article for the Stockport Express and file it along with a selection of images from the unveiling for their use. Somewhere around this point I’ll snatch a bite to eat before completing the match report for the blog.
That’s my day in a nutshell, a day that hopefully will include a County win (2-0 is my prediction) although I expect Hartlepool to make a good fist of making us work for our three points.
Jonathan Baker aka Geordie Hatter, The County Away Day Show
County 2 Hartlepool 0
Ever since it became apparent the season was set to go to the wire, I’ve been mentally preparing for this last push for the finishing line. My mind keeps going back to the final day of last season, when I had intended to pace myself very carefully, but ended up standing on top of the next-door-neighbour’s shed at 1am singing “The Scarf” at the top of my voice.
I woke up the next morning to discover that during the previous night’s post-match semi-heroic kitchen party excesses, I’d somehow managed to break the door clean off the washing machine. A calamity which led in turn to an impromptu week-long tour of the launderettes of SK1 and SK2 - simultaneous with Steve Bellis’ now-famous borough-wide valedictory odyssey of our suburban hostelries, except that instead of the National League trophy in my holdall, I was lugging about a family-sized assortment of slightly-soiled trousers, shirts, and underwear. I think it’s fair to concede that my perigrination proved slightly less popular than that of the club president, if we are to judge by the amount of times I was stopped and asked for a selfie (i.e. zero times - and I remain thankful that was the case, because for a good week following the semi-heroic excesses surrounding the Halifax fixture, I basically looked like I’d been run over by a bus).
And so to the Bank Holiday Monday and the climactic conclusion of the 2022-23 campaign, my plans for which are… to pace myself, very carefully. I’m one year older and wiser now of course, and am also under strict instructions from Mrs Geordie Hatter not to enter into any unseemly late-night brawls with the household’s white goods, so I’m quietly confident that I can pull off a season-ending send-off for our County heroes characterised by nothing other than elegant decorum.
A breakfast of bacon sandwiches and coffee is planned, after which I will stroll down Shaw Heath towards SK3. The pre-and-post-match flight path is subsequently set to take in (in no particular order) Bask, The Armoury, and the County Courtyard, with maybe The Blossoms thrown in for a cheeky one as well, being as it’s my local. A masterclass in the art of pacing ourselves through a long day of automatic promotion chasing, as I am sure you will agree. I can’t think of anything that could possibly go wrong.
And… oh! Somewhere along the way, the pre-and-post-match flight path is due to be interrupted by a football match (I am reliably informed). I’m planning to spend that in the Cheadle End, accompanied by my Upper Tier next-door-neighbours Park Run Damian and his lad, and surrounded by the familiar faces who habitually populate our little section of Block Three.
At some point around the 45-minute mark, the scheduled flight path sees me scrambling over the equally familiar legs of my neighbours, en route to the gents; a necessary diversion for a gentleman of my age into the murky depths of the concourse, which, if past form is anything to go by, is sure to coincide with Miles Hippolyte leaving a trail of Hartlepool defenders flat on their backs before opening the scoring by smashing a 20-yard drive into the top corner of the net nearest to us. The relief will be palpable (in the stands, as well as in the murky depths of the concourse gents).
Presently and below the clear blue skies of May, the final whistle will blow, and depending on results elsewhere, our fate will be known. At this point, I will of course be joining all right-thinking Stockport County supporters in refraining from encroaching upon the field of play, such action being of course in clear contravention of the relevant Football Association regulations pertaining to spectator conduct. And if you believe that, County fans, you’ll believe that I’m going to pace myself over the concluding matchday, and not end up on my next-door-neighbour’s roof again, singing about Will Collar’s magic boots for the entertainment of the neighbourhood’s cats.
Listen out for me if you’re still in celebratory flow yourselves - and maybe have a pair of stepladders handy. I’m due at work Tuesday morning, and could do with having access to the use of my legs. Cheers all, and thank you.
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Photo of the day
On the day the statue of this wonderful chap is unveiled, here’s to that man from Uruguay.
Today in SK
🍺 The Petersgate Tap (SK1) will be open today as part of their “Dodge the Coronation Weekend” which offers a royalty-free zone throughout the day. It’s also the perfect place for a pint of something strong, which will help you to settle your nerves, celebrate like an idiot, or drown your sorrows, depending on how the next few hours go.
🎶 There’s free jukebox at the Nelson Tavern (SK1) from 6.30pm.
🥓⚽️🍾🤮 Those emojis sum up what could be a lively day at Bask (SK1). The bacon represents the breakfasts that County fans are enjoying in there as I write this. The football is a reminder that Bask have the County game (live on Sky) on their big screens, for those who didn’t manage to get a ticket. The champagne (later tonight) and the vomit (tomorrow morning)… well let’s just see what Tranmere can do first…
Never mind Google or Yell.com, we’ve got you covered
STOP! That got your attention, didn’t it? Just a quick one… I’d hazard a guess that at some point in May, all of our readers will use Google or Yell.com at some point looking for a particular product or service. But before you do, please have a quick look at our own directory to see if we have what you’re looking for. A number of great businesses support The Scarf My Father Wore, allowing us to publish fresh content every day, so let’s send a few enquiries their way in return.
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