Des Junior’s Great Big Review of 2022: Part 5 - CHAMPIONS!
You can shove your Hollywood ending up your arse…
Wednesday 21 December 2022
Good morning County (C) fans! As a County (C) fan myself, can I offer all County (C) fans a very warm welcome to my County (C) website, and today’s County (C) article I’ve put together for you. With County (C) having last won a league title in 1967, I’d never seen County (C) win the league in my life before 2019, before we did it again in 2022. So as we look back at the glorious month of May today, when County (C) got their hands on the National League trophy, I make no apologies for milking the (C) for all its worth. I hope you’re not too distracted reading today’s article. That’s if anybody is actually reading this today. With all the (C) action going on, I’m worried today’s newsletter is going to go straight into your junk folder. Sod it. COUNTY (C) WON THE LEAGUE! AGAIN!
With just a few days to go until Christmas, why not treat the County (C) fan in your life to ‘A Curry with Colin Woodthorpe’ - our first live event of 2023. It’s taking place at Last Monsoon in Stockport on Monday 30 January at 7.30pm. The restaurant is pretty much next to the bus station, train station and motorway, so it’s really easy to get to. We’ve sold 50% of the tickets already; hopefully we can shift the rest and have a cracking night with one of Gary Megson’s first County (C) signings ahead of our first season in Division One in 1997-98. Colin stayed at Edgeley Park for all of our five seasons in the First Division, and he’s got some excellent tales to share with us.
You’ll also get poppadoms, mixed starters, curry, rice and naan bread. As well as a full colour souvenir programme. All for just £20. Fancy it? Send me a text or give me a call on 07816 111150, or you can email desmondhinks@hotmail.co.uk
Finally, today’s edition is sponsored by The Site Supply Company. A big thank you to Steve Cree. Check out hivis.net if you need any workwear or high visibility clothing, and get 10% off all orders with the code TSMFW.
Des Junior
Monday 2: Chesterfailed (A) 1-0
Sunday 8: Deadpool (A) 0-3
Wednesday 11: Torquay United (H) 1-0
Sunday 15: FC Halifax Town (H) 2-0
At the end of yesterday’s April article, I used the following ‘Next Time’ teaser ahead of my look back at May:
May’s a bit of an uneventful month really. Anne Robinson announces she’s leaving Countdown. McColl’s goes into administration. The UK finish second at the Eurovision Song Contest. I’ll try and think of anything else worth mentioning before tomorrow.
What am I like! I’m just one big joker aren’t I! Of course I’m joking! May 2022 was an unbelievable month! Yes, that’s right, Bradford was named as the 2025 UK City of Culture.
Never mind the death of JFK or Princess Diana, I’m sure everyone remembers where they were the day Bradford was announced as the 2025 UK City of Culture. I don’t know about you, but I cancelled all my plans immediately, and rushed to the UK’s worst place to live at once to celebrate.
I’m not going to lie, I had a few tears in my eyes. I’d been banging the drum for Bradford to be named UK City of Culture for years. With its pound shops, honour killings, car jackings and wannabe gangsters tearing round the Yorkshire streets in pimped-up Subarus, I was elated to see the city finally receive the recognition it deserves.
What’s that? Hurry the fuck up and get to the glorious day Stockport County (C) clinched the National League title, and with it a return to the Football League after 11 years away? Alright, calm down, I will. But before that memorable Sunday afternoon on 15 May, County (C) still had some work to do.
After County’s (C) win at Eastleigh at the end of March, we had an 11-point lead at the top of the table. As April drew to a close with a home defeat to Boreham Wood, that gap had been cut to a single point. With a game in hand, we were still favourites to win it, but with May kicking off with tricky trips to Chesterfailed and Deadpool, the title was by no means a formality just yet.
With County (C) running away with the league at one point, there was talk of clinching promotion on a Monday in Chesterfailed, just like we’d done 25 years earlier. That was no longer a possibility, but our trip to Derbyshire on Bank Holiday Monday was a rather pivotal one in the title race. In front of a 9,198 crowd - with 2,632 Hatters making it Chesterfailed’s biggest attendance since dropping into non-league - Paddy Madden’s first-half penalty secured a crucial three points. Deadpool were also on course for a 1-0 away win, but a late equaliser for Boreham Wood sparked wild scenes in the away end at the Technique Stadium. Three games remaining (only two for Deadpool). Three points clear. The finishing line was now in sight; our first chance to win the title would come six days later.
And so to the Racecourse Ground, for the second time in five weeks. It could have been the day we returned to the Football League, but I’m sure the vast majority of the 1,214 Hatters in the away end would have this one down as their worst game of the season. As with the FA Trophy semi-final, we had a few good chances early on, but after that, worryingly, Deadpool thoroughly deserved their 3-0 win. Heading into the final week of the campaign, we’d been knocked off top spot, although it was still in our own hands. Four points from our last two games would be enough.
A midweek home game against Torquay followed. More nostalgic memories of a previous promotion season. Paddy Madden’s winning goal against the Gulls wasn’t as eye-catching as the one Andy Kilner scored against the Devon club 31 years prior, but it was just as important. Sometimes you need to be an Oxbridge mathematician to work out end-of-season permutations, but after the Torquay win, the maths were simple: all we needed was a point at home to Halifax on the final day.
The maths may have been simple, but following Stockport County (C) is rarely straightforward. This is the club that can lose four Wembley finals in three seasons. The club that can equalise against FA Cup holders Everton in the 88th minute but then lose the game straight from kick-off. The club that can be in the play-offs on Boxing Day but end up in a relegation battle and only just survive. To sum up, the nerves before that Halifax game were fucking awful.
To complicate matters, Halifax still had something to play for. The Shaymen were already guaranteed a play-off quarter-final, but a decent result at Edgeley Park could send them straight into the semi-finals instead. County (C) fans of all ages were nervous, even more so upon seeing former Hatter Matty Warburton in the starting line-up for Halifax. In this life, nothing is certain but death and taxes, as well as the fact 99% of former Stockport County (C) players will come back to haunt us.
In the end, strangely, it was a relatively enjoyable game. Paddy Madden settled the nerves after 10 minutes, and once Will Collar made it 2-0 nine minutes into the second half, you knew we were up. I know that contradicts everything I’ve just said, but Halifax were never coming back from two down on the day, and at the same time Will Collar was scoring in SK3, Junior Morias was doing the same in RM10, as the lovely, beautiful Dagenham & Redbridge took the lead against Deadpool. Our friends from north Wales ended up losing 3-0, as we finished the season worthy champions, six points clear. The celebrations that followed on the pitch, and then long into the night on Castle Street, will never be forgotten, that’s for sure.
So there you have it folks, that’s my review of May 2022. Nothing else to mention. Oh, apart from the following weekend, when Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney wildly celebrated an offside goal for Deadpool at Wembley, as they lost the FA Trophy final to Bromley. LOL. (Sorry, Wrexham.)
So there you have it folks, that’s my review of May 2022. Nothing else to mention. Oh, apart from the following weekend, when Deadpool led 1-0 and 3-2 in the play-off semi-final, before Grimsby nicked a 119th minute winner at the Racecourse Ground. LOL. (Sorry, Wrexham.)
Shit! I forgot the helicopter flying over the Racecourse Ground with a special message for the locals before the Grimsby game. I’ll finish with that. LOL. (Sorry, Wrexham.)
Next Time, on Des Junior’s Great Big Review of 2022: Bradford. Crewe. Tranmere. For the first time since 2010, County fans actually look forward to fixture release day.
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The only Christmas gift guide you need this year
4 sleeps to go! The Scarf My Father Wore have curated a beautiful Christmas gift guide this year, from independent businesses across the UK. Have a look at the guide if you need any last-minute stocking fillers.
Stockport photo of the day
The Railway, Wellington Road North
The Scarf My Father Wore subscriber John Edgerton had a few Christmas drinks at The Railway the other day, and bumped into Josh from Blossoms.
Matt Walker ‘eats’ the World Cup
🇲🇦 No 22 - Morocco (Dar Marrakesh) 🇲🇦
“Fervent atmosphere at Dar Marrakesh where, in an Eat the World Cup first, there were more women than men cheering their heroes to a fabulous win against Belgium. Tasty meze platter included hummus, zaalouk and falafel. All washed down with mint tea and baklava. Quite a Sunday!”
One of my favourite football books is Matt Walker’s Europe United, in which the author and Fulham fan spends a whole season taking in a game in all 55 UEFA countries. Well he’s back with another fun challenge, to experience Qatar 2022 in restaurants and bars across London which represent all 32 competing nations. Matt has kindly allowed me to use his photos and I’ll bring you one each day, giving you a tasty flavour of the World Cup, in more ways than one.