Doncaster, WIMBLEDON, Colchester, Crewe, let’s have a catch-up with you
Our great big 2023-24 preview kicks off with the Wombles
Monday 3 July 2023
NEXT HOME GAME: Huddersfield - Saturday 22 July, 3pm
NEXT AWAY GAME: Lincoln (in Spain!) - Friday 7 July, 4pm (Click here for our away day guide)
Dear County fans, Stopfordians, and any Wimbledon supporters joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Monday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.
Our review of 2022-23 only finished yesterday, but we’re straight into the 2023-24 preview this morning. And you know what that means don’t you boys and girls? Yes, it’s time for Des Junior to mutilate one of The Beautiful South’s classic lyrics by replacing girls’ names with League Two clubs. Soz, Paul Heaton. I owe you a pint or 24. As always, when it comes to all things Wombles, Plough Lane tour guide Ray Armfield is our go-to guy.
Finally, a big thank you to Mark at Bridge Computer Services for sponsoring today’s edition.
Enjoy today’s issue.
Des Junior
Their place: Saturday 9 September 2023, 3pm
Our place: Monday 1 April 2024, 3pm
Last win at their place: Saturday 6 September 1980, Division Four, 2-1 (the old Wimbledon, at the old Plough Lane)
Last win at our place: Saturday 3 September 2022, League Two, 1-0
Today’s Sky Bet title/promotion/relegation odds: Us – 6/1 11/8 50/1 Them – 50/1 9/1 7/1
Are you glad County lost the play-off final, or would you rather be playing Carlisle this season?
Football-wise, I was impressed by both sides at Plough Lane in January and wasn't surprised both were knocking on the door of the play-offs. Distance-wise, I'm kinda pleased we've lost the Cumbrians. Brunton Park is some journey from London. I've done it twice – a 6-1 defeat with Wimbledon in the 80s and a 4-4 draw in the AFCW era.
In terms of your summer transfer business, where have Wimbledon been shopping?
Bearing in mind we've just signed Ryan Johnson, and now Joe Lewis, I'm tempted to say (insert the name of a well-known Stockport shop here). In high-street terms we've gone for solid performers rather than marquee signings, so most definitely Aldi – they look OK, just without the flash labels.
With the current energy crisis, the government have ordered all Football League clubs to switch off one thing that uses power for the whole season. What are you choosing?
Probably the electronic pitchside advertising hoardings, which have been so bright they’ve triggered complaints… and probably a seizure or two.
Which team do you most want to beat this season?
The one I really wish we didn't have to play.
County haven't played MK Dons since 2009-10, so we're a little out of the loop. What's your current thoughts when it comes to MK Dons away – boycott the game, happy to attend, or reluctantly go without spending any other money on food, drink, programmes etc.
You'll make your own mind up about that (as you should). Me? I've never been there and never will. YMMV as they say.
The Conservative party are in disarray at the moment. They've contacted your club and asked your chairman and manager to join them, to bring some new ideas to the table. Which roles would they be most suited to?
We currently have a CEO due to vacate his role by the end of the year, so he can be minister without portfolio.
No idea what I could entrust to Johnnie Jackson, but it wouldn't be minister of defence…
There's a huge game at Plough Lane this season. You're 1-0 up with 15 minutes to go when Just Stop Oil protestors invade the pitch and get the game abandoned. How are Wimbledon fans reacting?
We're not exactly Galatasaray, so probably some tutting and a headlong rush to the bars. That said, usually when we’re 1-0 up with 15 minutes to go, many of ours are on a betting app getting a wager on us drawing or losing. It’s what we generally do.
Newport County, Notts County, Stockport County. Snog one, marry one, avoid one.
Newport is in Wales, so that's avoid straight away. Quite like Nottingham as a city, so would have to think about walking them down the aisle. That means you boys will have to pucker up…
Ryan Reynolds gets in touch and says he wants you to take him on a Hollywood-style night out when Wrexham visit. He wants the nicest meal in town, followed by the swankiest bar, and then the best hotel. What are your recommendations?
Well I'd direct him to the MyPie outlet in the home end, purveyors of the finest pre-match football food I've ever tasted.
Afterwards, to The Alexandra pub in central SW19 with the genial host Mick Dore, a professional Yorkshireman turned avid Dons fan. You can't go wrong there.
Accommodation would have to be The Cannizaro Hotel. An upmarket place favoured by the great and the good of Wimbledon (including our FA Cup celebrations in 1988). I had a night there myself by default a few years ago when my Travelodge was double-booked and they were obliged to find me somewhere else. My Cannizaro suite probably cost about £400 and half an hour later I was sat in a monogrammed dressing gown sipping a sherry and feeling like The Fast Show's 13th Duke of Wybourne. "Me? With my reputation?"
There's a quote saying "Stockport Isn't Shit" which has taken off around our town, with the words proudly displayed in bars and on various bags and t-shirts. What quote would you use to promote Merton to people who think it's not that fashionable?
Merton has some annual two-bob tennis tournament apparently, and also The Wombles. What's not to like? One of our fans put together an excellent graphic a few years ago. "Wimbledon is for life – not just a fortnight in the summer.” I like that.
Which Wimbledon player is most likely to end up in League Two's team of the season?
As stated previously, we've gone for substance over style with recruitment and retention this time round so if we have a better season and none of ours catch the eye, I won't be too upset. If he stays and maintains his goalscoring record from the back end of last season then our Scouse Iraqi Ali Al-Hamadi might be in contention.
Early predictions for 2023-24?
It's the start of July as I write this, so very difficult to accurately predict without seeing how everyone's squads will pan out. I think Wrexham might win the title, with Notts County also going up again, along with Bradford. Gillingham to win the play-offs perhaps. Morecambe and Crawley to go down.
Give Mark a call with any computer problems
If your computer is knackered, give Mark a call at Bridge Computer Services. Based in Romiley, the business provides computer workshop and callout services to residential and business customers across Stockport. Their callout and workshop engineers are trained to fix computers, laptops and servers on site (where possible) as well as setting up new computers and wireless networks, plus maintaining existing networks and removing viruses.
Visit bridgecomputerservices.co.uk for further details.
Today in SK
☕️ Food and drink ☕️
Kebabs are just £3 all day at Fishers of Cheshire (SK2).
Med Monday at TRUNK (SK7) between 12pm and 9pm. Enjoy three tapas dishes for £15. T&Cs apply. Call 0161 222 9260 to book a table, and mention “The Scarf My Father Wore” to receive a 15% discount off the normal tapas menu.
❓Quiz night ❓
The George & Dragon (SK7). 7.30pm.
The Scarf My Father Wore works closely with venues on a daily basis to bring you the most comprehensive guide to all of the best offers and events taking place across the whole SK region. Click on the links below for full details of everything taking place in your area over the next few weeks.
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Photo of the day
July is when a lot of players’ contracts are up, meaning there’s usually a lot of transfer activity this month. Here’s a flashback to 1997, with a couple of County transactions on the list.
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