Monday 2 January 2023
Happy New Yea… Actually, do you know what, I’m still full of the winter lurgy at the moment, so please don’t be offended, but I really can’t be arsed setting off party poppers or singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ with you. I’ll happily celebrate on Sunday if we reach the fourth round of the FA Cup for the first time in 22 years, but for now, allow me to feel sorry for myself with my Lucozade. In keeping with the melancholic tone of today’s edition, our main feature is yesterday’s miserable 1-0 defeat in Cleethorpes. Our regular correspondent John Edgerton shares his thoughts from the away end, while we also catch up with the brilliant Tony Butcher, from Cod Almighty.
There’s not long to go until ‘A Curry with Colin Woodthorpe’ - our first live event of 2023. It’s taking place at Last Monsoon in Stockport on Monday 30 January at 7.30pm. Come and join us for an entertaining evening with one of Gary Megson’s first County signings ahead of our first season in Division One in 1997-98. Colin’s an absolutely lovely bloke, and having made 171 appearances for County, he’s got some fantastic stories from his five years at Edgeley Park.
You’ll also get poppadoms, mixed starters, curry, rice and naan breads. As well as a full colour souvenir programme. All for just £20. Fancy it? Send me a text or give me a call on 07816 111150, or you can email desmondhinks@hotmail.co.uk
Finally, today’s edition is sponsored by STUDIO26 Haircare. A big thank you to Aaron and the rest of the team in Hazel Grove. County season ticket holders can get a 20% discount at STUDIO26 Haircare throughout January. See below for further details.
Des Junior
Photo courtesy of Mike Petch
Sunday’s match in one word:
Tony - Tug’o’War.
John - Dreadful.
Pre-match thoughts:
Tony - Let’s keep the score down. We’d settle for an unembarrassing narrow defeat, courtesy of a controversial refereeing decision, to provide that necessary fig leaf of distraction from our own desultory form.
John - I was confident we’d get three points, even though I’ve never seen us win at Grimsby.
Post-match thoughts:
Tony - Hat firmly on the side of our heads, never mind the quality feel the width of the gap between us and Rochdale! We are thoroughly delighted from our perspective - a seasonal slump arrested in similar style, fashion and timeframe as last year. It was all about the heart.
John - We need cover in certain areas, such as the defence, for example, as we missed Horsfall massively.
Verdict on Grimsby:
Tony - Given what we’ve seen and been for a couple of months this was marvellous and invigorating – organised, cohesive and committed. I know everyone wants to watch lovely football, O Jogo Bonito and all that, but sometimes just getting stuck in and trying hard is a wonderful thing to witness. So, in our context, this was tremendous. Not much happened, but that’s just fine by us.
John - Didn’t look anything special if I’m honest. If I had to watch that every week it’d be worrying.
Verdict on County:
Tony - Curiously, yet satisfyingly, wan. The Bluesmen seemed to play with the air of entitlement that mid-table Championship sides take with them to Nantwich in the third round of the FA Cup. County seemed collectively surprised by their opponents not standing aside and doffing their caps in recognition of their intrinsic superiority (and higher wages). Then didn’t roll their sleeves up and match the work rate of Town. Not so much arrogance as complacency hiding a lack of mental strength. This latter quality is what got Town up last year and will keep us up this year.
John - Woeful. Looked tired.
Top Mariner:
Tony - Mmm, Clifton and Khan were both Duracell bunnies, but as Otis scored it would be churlish to chuck the imaginary bottle of cheap champagne substitute to anyone else.
John - Waterfall won everything that was thrown at him.
Top Hatter:
Tony - The House of Fraser Horseface, obviously. You’d have got a point with him hanging around to deal with Big Luke and the big tosses. Of those on the pitch, Wright seemed sturdy enough, everyone else was entirely forgettable if not invisible. You may have noticed we do not fear or rate Madden or Wootton.
John - Not many to choose from. Akil Wright stood out again though.
Atmosphere:
Tony - There was one, which is a start. A large away contingent does always rouse us sleepyheads into some reactive oral defiance rather than waiting for something to happen on the pitch. We could hear you saddening, maddened Hatters regularly, but the acoustics are such that unless there are a thousand belting it out at the top of their voices it is a distant whisper. There was definitely a happy hum in the home ends. We like the games against Stockport, there’s always a buzz. Proper club, proper fans, proper football.
John - We said in the ground it was dire. Home fans didn’t sing, the only noise they made was when they scored. Non-stop singing from the County fans as usual, even with the performance we witnessed.
Hopes for the rest of the season:
Tony - That we continue to exist in a happy zone above the deadmen and duds with a theoretical chance of possibility, just about, of sneaking into the very corners of the edge of the periphery of the play-offs for a week or so, just for a laugh. The sane and rational among us recognise Town are way off being a third tier-ready club, let alone team, and that mid-table is a perfectly reasonable position to be, all things considered. We have striking issues which will take time to address as we are not a moneybags club. Oh, and a cup run would be nice. We’re long overdue having any kind of impact on the FA Cup. We might then get enough to buy a striker next year. There’s always next year.
John - I’m still confident we can make the play-offs; automatic at a push. It was a bad day at the office, but I’d have been happy with six points from nine if you’d asked me before Christmas. Give the lads a few days off, then let’s start again.
The British Library receives a copy of every single book published in the UK. In the same fashion, Des Junior believes a detailed record of every County game should be preserved for the history books. So here’s the full story of our 1-0 defeat at Grimsby Town on Sunday 1 January 2023, as told from Des Junior’s three County-related WhatsApp groups…
12.12am: Happy New Year to you all. May 2023 end in either another promotion or the road to promotion in 2023-24 - and far more importantly, happiness and health to you and yours.
1.27pm: Just watched highlights of our home game against Grimsby, we were well beaten.
1.44pm: We owe them for that and the defeat at Easter.
2.04pm: Horsfall put injured, Lewis in.
2.05pm: Shit.
3.05pm: Anybody else’s stream playing up? I’ve not had any problems before so it could be an issue at my end.
3.11pm: Well you don’t want problems with your end.
3.19pm: Oooh matron.
3.25pm: Are Grimsby going long and direct because of our changes at the back?
3.34pm: Pitch might be a factor in that.
4.12pm: 0-1 FFS. Long throw. That’s been coming.
4.16pm: Injuries and illness biting us on the arse here.
5.00pm: Looked very much like a team that had seven players with fitness tests and a flu bug going round. Annoying because Grimsby were proper long ball shite - far worse than they looked at our place.
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