It’s sunny in Wrexham once again
The (Hollywood-financed) fairytale is complete, as Wrexham follow County into the EFL, but there’s video nasties for Yeovil, Torquay and Scunthorpe as they head for the regional leagues
Thursday 4 May 2023
Dear County fans, Stopfordians, and anyone else joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Thursday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.
There’s loads of Hartlepool build-up coming over the weekend, don’t worry. But I thought I’d kick off a series of my own non-league features today, taking a look back at the season just gone, starting with the National League.
Even growing up as a kid watching County in Division One, I’ve always loved non-league football, and this will be the first of six articles over the next couple of weeks, reflecting on all six tiers of the non-league system in 2022-23. Starting at step one, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching the scrap between Wrexham and Notts County over the last 10 months, and ever so slightly relieved we weren’t a part of it. While the Red Dragons and the Magpies gave blood, sweat and tears for the cause in the Vanarama, it felt immeasurably pleasurable to be watching events unfold from the top of my Sky Bet decorated ivory tower whilst being fed grapes by naked beauties. (Or sat alone on my sofa with a tube of Pringles to be precise.)
In fact, at one point, I felt like Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator, watching majestically from above. I felt bloodthirsty; Paul Mullin and Macaulay Langstaff locking horns to satisfy my sadistic urges. I must say, fair play to Wrexham. It’s good to see a proper club back in the Football League, and best of luck to Notts County in the play-offs, as although it would be pretty funny, it would be bloody cruel missing out on promotion having accumulated a whopping 107 points.
Finally, I’ve always felt a real spark every time I’ve met Noel and Sam Wharton from NK Electrical and I’m delighted they’ve sponsored today’s edition. Please don’t blame them for that horrendous pun I’ve just made. If you need any electrical work doing, be sure to give them a call. Further details below.
Enjoy today’s issue.
Des Junior
“That question needs a 10,000 word thesis.”
When Yeovil fan Ben Barrett from Gloverscast replied to me, his response did tickle me, I won’t lie. But I found it easy to empathise with Ben as well. I suspect most County fans would be able to. Remember how humiliating and heartbreaking our fall from grace was, plummeting from the second tier to regional football in just 11 years? Well, Yeovil have just managed to do the same in only 10. The Glovers, ending the campaign 10 points from safety, won just seven games; only rock-bottom Maidstone managed fewer.
So what’s gone so horribly wrong in Somerset?
“How long have you got?” asks Ben. “Anything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong. Mismanagement from top to bottom for years and years.
“Specifically this season, poor summer recruitment lead to a terrible start. We tried to react with a change of manager, but an internal civil war between coaches, players and prospective owners led to chaos and unrest, and it never got close to recovering from there. An absolute car crash of a season... again.”
Dropping into the National League is a culture shock, as County fans know all too well, but dropping a division further into the murky depths of regional football can feel like you’re staring oblivion in the face before you slowly acclimatise to your new surroundings.
On Saturday 17 August 2013, County’s first ever game in the sixth tier resulted in a horrendous 4-1 defeat at home to Boston, in front of just 3,317 at Edgeley Park. On the same day, Yeovil were at Burnley. Two weeks earlier, the Glovers had kicked off their one and only season in the Championship with a 1-0 win at Millwall in front of over 12,000 fans. Trips to the likes of Turf Moor and The Den will feel a very distant memory next season as Yeovil fans find themselves at Hemel Hempstead Town and Farnborough.
Can the Glovers bounce back at the first attempt?
“Honestly, who knows?” says Ben. “In theory we are a big fish in an even smaller pond, but there's so much to sort out off the field before anything can be sorted on it. We owe rent to the council, and at the time of writing have no idea who will be the manager, no idea who will be the owner and no idea which players will still be here. If I don't laugh, I'll cry.”
Ben makes me chuckle once again when I ask for his best moment of the season: “We beat Torquay on New Year’s Day. That wasn’t rubbish.” That’s like leaving a positive review on Tripadvisor for a restaurant simply for not getting food poisoning.
As for the worst? “Right, deep breath, here goes. We won seven games, scored less goals than anyone, only won once away, didn’t manage to beat whipping boys Maidstone once, and we didn’t have a physio at all for part of the season. We went out of the FA Cup to Taunton, and failed to win the county cup even as the county’s only professional team. The manager and the guy trying to buy the club had a social media civil war, the council own the land and the ground, and the owner hasn't been seen in a year. Oh, and the players weren’t paid on time in April.
“Apart from that, it was alright, really.”
Incredibly, Yeovil aren’t the only former Championship side gearing up for a season of regional football. In 2010-11, Scunthorpe United were beating the likes of Sheffield United, Crystal Palace and Nottingham Forest in the second tier. In a few months the Iron will be off to Warrington Town and Buxton, having crashed into the sixth tier following three relegations in five seasons.
It could be a while before things improve at Glanford Park as well. Staff have been made redundant, the club’s academy has closed down, and the players will be training 70 miles away in Ilkeston.
Next season will be Torquay’s 10th consecutive year in non-league football, and they’re now even further away from making a comeback after suffering relegation to the National League South on the final day; a point against champions Wrexham wasn’t enough to escape the drop. The Gulls do have experience of bouncing back from the sixth tier, however. They were also relegated from the National League back in 2017-18, but made an immediate return, winning the National League South title the following season.
Two years later, a Torquay side including Joe Lewis and Connor Evans almost made it back to the Football League, but they were beaten on penalties in the play-off final by Dave Challinor’s Hartlepool.
“Our relegation this season goes back to that near miss,” explains Dom Roman from Torquay Talk. “Soon after that, the team started to leave and over time we haven’t replaced them properly. That leads us on to this season, with a poorly-constructed squad which struggled from the start. Line-ups juggled round, too many poor performers, and disappointment after disappointment as Gary Johnson struggled to work things out. Eventually we found a decent line-up but it was just too late. There were so many narrow defeats, this relegation was hugely avoidable. But overall the club has slipped into a losing mentality, with too many excuses made and very little responsibility taken all round.
“However, I do believe we should be among the promotion contenders next season. The owners are not popular but they have at least confirmed that we will remain full-time. A reasonable summer of recruitment from Gary Johnson (after two terrible ones) and the club should be pushing for first place. The pressure is on though, and we can’t take anything for granted.”
We’ve been discussing teams who have dropped from the Championship into regional football today. That’s a shocking descent, but at one point this season, it looked like one of the founder members of the Premier League were going to find themselves in that unthinkable situation. On Boxing Day, Oldham Athletic were languishing in 22nd place - just four points off the bottom - after a 4-1 defeat at Notts County (the Latics were 4-1 down after only 43 minutes).
The popular Fred Dibnah tribute act Frank Rothwell had completed his takeover of the club last summer, but after years of chaos at Boundary Park, it wasn’t something that could be fixed overnight. Slowly but surely, though, the Oldham ship steadied. Less than two weeks after the capitulation at Meadow Lane, Oldham came from a goal down to win 5-1 at Dorking, their first away win of the season at the 13th attempt. The result lifted David Unsworth’s team out of the relegation zone, and they continued to improve over the second half of the campaign, managing to finish in the top half of the table, not a million miles away from the play-offs.
“I think the way we finished the season is a good indicator of how next season will go,” suggests Matt Dean, co-host of The Boundary Park Alert System! podcast. Oldham were actually top of the form table at the end of the National League season, losing just one of their last 10 games of the campaign, away at Wrexham.
“We had a big squad but there were lots of players who simply weren't good enough,” Matt continues. “Unsworth gave them a try and then brought in better. We'll strengthen again in the summer and I think we'll be strong contenders next season.”
Having seen a few social media videos of Frank Rothwell around Boundary Park, and enjoying away days with Oldham fans, I wanted to ask Matt what he’s actually like.
“He’s a character!” he says. “He’s actually very much as you see him in the media. He's a great personality to have around but he'd be the first to admit that he couldn't do it without his son and daughter and the board of directors, which is very diverse in its skill set and experience. We feel that the club is in good hands now.”
Oldham fans will once again have the local derby with Rochdale to look forward to next season. “I must admit it’s not the most exciting draw for an Oldham fan of my age,” says Matt. “I remember the days when we used to play United and City in derbies rather than Rochdale. Having said that, I do love going to Spotland because we take more fans than they have and totally take over their place! It's been a very southern league this season, so having our neighbours join us is very kind of them.
“Joking aside, I do worry for Dale and I hope that it doesn't get any worse for them like it could have done for us and did for Scunny. Sometimes football clubs need a shock to the system to bring them back to life. Falling from the Premier to the National is a fall from grace, but we now have more season ticket holders and bigger gates than we did in League One. It's not all doom and gloom; we have had a long hard look at ourselves and we're all pulling together to rebuild our club. You can turn a negative into a positive with the right attitude and hard work and that's what we're doing at Oldham. We're on our way back up the leagues, I can promise you that!”
Another club very much on the up is Wrexham, finally ending their 15 years in the non-league wilderness, despite another County coming almighty close to making them cry again. I wasn’t going to talk about Wrexham today, but armed police have just burst through my front door, pinned me to the ground, and have informed me in no uncertain terms that in 2023 it’s actually illegal to publish any form of article on the internet without mentioning Ryan Reynolds or Rob McElhenney. So I’m going to do as I’m told.
Whatever you think of our Welsh friends, you can’t deny it’s been one hell of a story. The relentless battle between Wrexham and Notts County this season has seen the pair swap positions more times than a couple of newlyweds working through the Kama Sutra on their honeymoon.
I asked Tim Edwards from Fearless In Devotion if he could possibly put recent events at the Racecourse into words. He said: “Batshit, bonkers, surreal, brilliant, intense.”
I’m actually rather chuffed for Wrexham, which probably puts me in a minority of County fans. But think back to the sheer ecstasy on the faces of people like George Hudson and John Fitzpatrick and Steve Cree on that memorable afternoon against Halifax this time last year. Wrexham have got their own versions of those people. Don’t get me wrong, they seem to have attracted a lot of whoppers following the Hollywood takeover (that blinking weirdo with the red beard has definitely ended up in hospital before with a light bulb or a remote control up his bottom) but don’t forget this is a club whose supporters raised £100,000 in seven hours to save their club from going under a few years ago - pensions, life savings, kids’ pocket money. They’ve spent a decade and a half travelling to Dover and Weymouth and Gateshead; I don’t begrudge them their moment in the spotlight.
One thing I will agree with, however, is that the media circus surrounding Wrexham is getting a little bit silly now. I don’t mind the Welcome to Wrexham documentary, I can live with Rob and Ryan being interviewed on BT Sport, but the TOP story on the BBC Sport website for the open top bus parade the other night? Get in the fucking bin, BBC.
We’re all looking in from the outside, but what’s it like to be inside the Wrexham Big Top?
“The media circus is just that,” says Tim. “It’s noise created by the media. It's hilarious when people say Rob and Ryan will be off when they get bored. The only people who will move on when they get tired of Wrexham are the press. We're the current column filler, the airwaves infiltrator. But something else will soon come along and replace us as flavour of the year. But there is no denying the spotlight has put more cash in the coffers of the club and the town's businesses.
“As for the owners I've spoken with Rob in person and he's just a regular guy in a very privileged position. A lot of this has even overwhelmed him. Although he did make a cock joke in front of my dad and managed to get away with it.
“Ryan has interacted several times on Twitter. A funny, humble guy who happens to act and be a very clever marketing guru.”
As you know, we like a good statistic at The Scarf My Father Wore. Next season will be the first time there’s been four Welsh clubs in the Football League since 1987-88. I asked Tim who he’d choose to play if I could guarantee Cardiff, Swansea or Newport in the first round of the League Cup. His response was Cardiff. He explains: “It's been way too long and they are on the slide. About time we gave them an inferiority complex again. Plus they are sell-outs… imagine allowing someone to turn your club colours to red.”
I’m sure Wrexham fans would love a trip to any of their Welsh rivals in the League Cup in August. But what’s the verdict on the main business, their first season back in League Two? A campaign in which they’ll no doubt start as one of the favourites, just like County this season.
“Title please,” says Tim. “We'll aim to succeed where you failed, after a very indifferent start to life back in League Two. But I'd also take third on goal difference.”
Before wrapping up with Tim, I feel we have to talk about Andy Cannon - “He’s been decent, took him a bit of time to get up to speed but he’s a proper baller, and he also sees lions, just ask Ben Foster” - who’s just got his hands on the National League trophy for the second time in 12 months.
I’m also curious to understand the relationship between old school fans in the town and the sizeable contingent of Americans and other tourists from around the world descending on Wrexham. “They've been welcomed by the majority. You'll always get someone moaning that a new fan has somehow got hold of a ticket over an unlucky local. But if they're shelling out to make the pilgrimage then they deserve it just as much as anyone else.”
I’m all for renewing acquaintances with Wrexham next season. A trip to the circus is always a fun day out, after all. I’m just hoping it’s in the Papa John’s Trophy and not League Two.
Give NK Electrical a call if you lose all your power on Monday!
I’ve spoken to the National Grid and they’ve confirmed it’s likely we’ll see a surge in electricity use across Stockport on Monday, meaning some homes could lose their power completely. If County win promotion, televisions and radios and mobile phone chargers and sex toys across the town could go into overdrive, causing outages in some areas. Fear not, though, as there’s just two letters to remember if you ever have any electrical problems: NK.
NK Electrical and Property Solutions are a family-run business, who offer a full range of electrical services, as well as property maintenance such as plumbing, plastering, joinery and painting. If you require any services, get in touch and you’ll be superbly looked after by County fans Noel and Sam Wharton, who are also long-term sponsors of the club.
Click here for contact details.
Today in SK
🎧 Clint Boon returns to Bask! The legendary musician and DJ took the roof off at Bask (SK1) in December, and he’s back for another evening packed with tunes so good you’ll be dancing all night. 8pm. Tickets £5.
🎶 There’s free jukebox at the Nelson Tavern (SK1) from 6.30pm.
Never mind Google or Yell.com, we’ve got you covered
STOP! That got your attention, didn’t it? Just a quick one… I’d hazard a guess that at some point in May, all of our readers will use Google or Yell.com at some point looking for a particular product or service. But before you do, please have a quick look at our own directory to see if we have what you’re looking for. A number of great businesses support The Scarf My Father Wore, allowing us to publish fresh content every day, so let’s send a few enquiries their way in return.
Click here to have a look at all the businesses in our directory.
Photos of the day
The Britannia Stadium, Stoke
I usually only include one photo in this section each day, but to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Manchester City being relegated to Division Two (one below Stockport County), I don’t think the majority of our readers will mind me adding a few extra.