Thursday 6 July 2023
*Presses pause on the 2023-24 previews*
We’ve got a Tranmere fan who wants to marry County so he can stay on the Wirral, and a Crawley supporter who would be happy for his energy bills to be doubled if it meant his club’s owners couldn’t access the internet, but we’re temporarily pausing our build-up to 2023-24 for a couple of days, as it’s time to inject the website with some Spanish flavour!
Our reporter Hannah Brown (along with her County travel buddy Clare Jeffs) has been in Spain for a couple of days now, and we’ve got the first part of her Spanish diary to share with you this morning. It’s a belter! Stay tuned for further musings from Murcia over the next few days.
Today’s edition of The Scarf My Father Wore is sponsored by BGM Decorators. A big thank you to Ben. If you’re thinking of having any decorating work done over the coming weeks or months, please see below for further details.
Des Junior
Day 1 - Tuesday 4 July
2.15am: Who are Stockport County? Why am I doing this?
3.38am: The only victory that matters all week, a suitcase weighing in at 19.9kg. Take that Michael O’Leary.
4.51am: There is not enough coffee in the world to get through this. Remember I have an Audible account with a significant number of credits available and then re-download all the self-improvement books I’ve ordered previously to listen by the pool, knowing I won’t listen to any of them.
4.53am: Download shitty chick lit books.
10.09am: WHOOP! Land in Spain courtesy of Captain Cooke who’s a County fan.
10.42am: Collect the hire car, install Wembley-purchased County flags, and off we go!
11.31am: Arrive at the hotel and run into half the squad in the lobby. It appears both County and Lincoln are staying here, presumably due to the close proximity to the arena. With the invasion of Preston fans tomorrow this situation feels absolutely fine…
3.00pm: After a quick trip to Alcampo for a Spanish supermarket experience (Fanta limón and lots of jamón) it’s back to the hotel and player dodging around the pool. Safe to use the pool from 4pm when Twitter confirms they’re in the gym.
5.16pm: Flurry of text messages asking if Nick Powell is here. Confirm I have not seen Nick Powell. Google image search for Nick Powell to find out who the fuck he is. Still not seen him.
5.35pm: Bored of reporting back on Lincoln players to Real EFL colleagues and yet to listen to any of the audio books (predictably), watch Woots, MSH and Will Collar doing pool work complete with goggles. Except Woots, who is man enough to go without.
7.23pm: Spend 10 minutes analysing the gym photo on Twitter to see if I can spot anyone that shouldn’t be there. Recognise that I could just go down to dinner and do a headcount but really can’t be arsed because of the 2am start.
8.27pm: Head out to the marina for dinner and do some casual flamingo spotting en route, as you do. Feels like a bit of an anticlimax. Find a restaurant at the harbour and in my atrocious Spanish (very few people speak English) we order steak and lamb ribs. The waitress approves of the ribs, less so the steak, and refuses to enter into a discussion about how it will be cooked so we honestly don’t know what we’re getting for dinner…
8.45pm: Steak is raw. With odd homemade potato crisp/chip things.
9.23pm: The most beautiful sunset and then back to the hotel to be joined by more County fans, including 11-year-old Daniel, who shares this cracker: “What do you call a Spanish person who can’t find their car? Carlos.”
Day 2 - Wednesday 5 July
9.30am: Alarm goes off.
12.44pm: Eventually emerge from the hotel room to find a hotel overrun by County fans.
1.10pm: First mention of Nick Powell who is categorically not in Spain. Well, he might be, but he’s not here.
2.04pm: Clare suffers a catastrophic foot injury after an incident with a lounger. Still seeking physio advice.
2.25pm: Picky lunch with the spoils of the supermarket from yesterday. And ice cream. No sign of any players.
6.00pm: BREAKING NEWS - Chally’s signed a new contract, plus confirmation of Stretts’ ACL injury. Still no shirt news.
6.15pm: While I’m in the shower Clare is the victim of a targeted “knock and run” game by Lincoln players. Suspect they’re all incredibly bored on account of not being able to leave “the camp” but still, regressing to school holiday levels of pranks is concerning.
6.45pm: Out for dinner with the gang. No menu or ordering related dramas. Although there is a pizza over ordering situation, which is never a bad thing. Briefly consider trying to offer it to the players later on but don’t want to risk incurring the wrath of Chally. Today’s Daniel Pinchin joke: “What do you call a Spanish sheep with no legs? Graciarse.” (You have to say it out loud for it to work.)
8.55pm: Back for a tech check before going live on The Scarf Bergara Wore. Make a total tit of myself, blame the heat, and then redeem myself by Clare recruiting MSH and Tanto. Later guest spots from Sarce and Fraser. Bloody love this club and these players that genuinely seem to care about each other.
12.00am: Discover the hotel bar shuts at midnight. No bell, no opportunity to over order sangria, nothing.
Will we see any more childish pranks from the Lincoln players? Are there going to be any further catastrophic poolside injuries? And is Nick Powell to be found anywhere in Spain? Join us tomorrow for the next instalment of Hannah’s Spanish diary, including tales from the club’s fan event, and even more of a Stockport invasion.
Today’s sponsor: BGM Decorators
Don’t be like this random stranger Des Junior found on the internet. He thought he could decorate his living room himself. But now look at him, sat forlorn on his floor covered in a tin of Dulux. His wife’s left him, and his evenings are now occupied by microwave meals and old repeats of The Sweeney. You know what he should have done, don’t you? He should have called BGM Decorators.
BGM Decorators is a family business that has been in the trade since 1988. They’ve been built on hard work, honesty, and a high quality service that has consistently enhanced their reputation. They provide a painting and decorating service on a domestic and commercial basis across Stockport, Greater Manchester and Cheshire, as well as offering tenant turnover services and working alongside estate agencies and private landlords.
Click here for contact details.
Photo of the day
That’s a promotion kit all day long, isn’t it…
Today in SK
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That's great- I really love Hannah's style, and I bet she was actually brilliant on TSBW! (Which I'm going to need to catch up on now, not least to see the players popping in...). I also think maybe the kid with the jokes needs to become a regular podcast guest or at least to submit one of his zingers weekly, for the delectation of the County Nation. His second one in the Murcia selection is clearly an upgrade in humouristic calibre on the first one, so the boy is on an upward trajectory and one to watch.
Hi Hannah,
Diary is fantastic. Great way for fans like me to keep up with all things County.
You were excellent on the Scarf Bergara wore podcast.keep up the superb work
P.S. Nick Powell has not been spotted in Dublin either.
Cheers, Thank you,
Declan Costello