The king has had his coronation, now let’s have the Newport summation…
It’s the end of another season and you know what that means… it’s time for Des Junior to come up with a horrendous rhyming title and spend a month bothering fans from all the other clubs in League Two
Wednesday 10 May 2023
Today’s edition is dedicated to the memory of Neil Matthews
Dear County fans, Stopfordians, and any Newport supporters joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Wednesday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.
The call hasn’t yet gone out to Carlisle, Bradford or Salford, but for the other 20 clubs whose League Two campaigns came to an end on Monday afternoon, I’ve already made contact with the likes of fanzine editors, journalists and podcasters from across the division to have a look back at everything that’s happened in 2022-23.
There’s only one club to start with: the team with the greatest name in the whole of League Two (well, 50% of it anyway). That’s right, it’s our half-namesakes from South Wales. Ed Bridges, from the Newport County podcast 1912 Exiles, joins us for a chat about Bask, Omar Bogle, and getting pissed with a load of Partick Thistle supporters. All of the other teams from League Two will be featured over the next few weeks.
Finally, a big thank you to Jen from Hug & Co for sponsoring today’s edition. You’ll recognise Jen’s bags immediately, which we’ve featured below, along with a link to purchase one if you haven’t yet done so.
Enjoy today’s issue.
Des Junior
Had King Charles invited you to his coronation celebrations, and insisted you brought him the best food you’d experienced inside a League Two ground this season, what would you have treated him to?
Crikey, it’s slim pickings in this division isn’t it? We’re traditionalists so we’d have gone for an honest cup of Bovril, but with a few croutons brought from home scattered on the top…
Charles is now king of the UK. But who would you choose to be crowned king of Rodney Parade, and who would be locked up in the tower? You can pick anybody who’s had some sort of connection with the club this season.
The undoubted king would be Omar Bogle. He scored goals early on, then had a long barren spell when he got a lot of stick. It says everything about the man and his self-belief that he came back to score loads more goals in the run-in to finish the season as top scorer with 19 goals in all competitions.
Can I lock up our PA announcer in the tower, please? The previous incumbent - a lovely old chap called Tim - retired a year ago after decades of service, and for many of us was the voice of Newport County. A tough act to follow, but we seem to have replaced him with DJ Ray Von from Phoenix Nights, and if he instructs us (pleadingly) to “make some noise!” once more, I will insert his microphone where the sun don’t shine…
Best moment of 2022-23?
Beating Hartlepool 2-0 the Saturday after Easter. It made survival mathematically certain and allowed us to aim a little higher in the remaining games (eventually finishing 15th) but it also saw us win comfortably in the sunshine in front of a big crowd on the same day a free music festival was happening in Newport, meaning many fans made a whole day of it, singing and dancing until the small hours. For many of us, we should have finished the season there and then!
Worst moment of 2022-23?
James Rowberry’s departure. It was necessary, and the right thing to do, but no one took any pleasure in it. An honourable man and a good coach who maybe got his opportunity too soon. He’s now involved in the Wales youth setup and will no doubt have learned a lot from his experiences at Rodney Parade.
Funniest moment of 2022-23?
There weren’t many - it was that sort of season - but the 100 or so who made the long trip to Carlisle on a freezing cold day in January had the memorable experience of being joined in the away end by 60 drunken and noisy Partick Thistle fans. Their away game had been called off, but they’d already paid for the coach hire so skipped the border to support Newport. Cue a beautiful fanbase friendship being forged, 90 minutes of singing about hating the English (sorry) and a day we won’t forget in a hurry.
Four Four Two said you’d finish 5th. When Saturday Comes said you’d finish 11th. You finished 15th. Discuss.
[smug mode] I predicted we’d finish 14th so was only one place out! [/smug mode] We did well in 2021-22 due to an exceptionally talented crop of youngsters. We were never going to have an equally good crop this year, so I was pretty certain we’d be bottom half. In the event, we were in a very tight group who finished in the 9th-18th part of the table. Our optimism now rightly checked, I think we’d expect to be towards the top end of that same grouping next season if we can make some shrewd acquisitions.
Newport 1 County 2 in November. County 4 Newport 0 in April. Thoughts?
Honestly, and I’m not trying to curry favour here (as my next answer will demonstrate), you were by some distance the best side I thought we played this year, possibly along with Carlisle. How you’ve ended up in the play-offs I don’t know. You were a cut above at Rodney Parade, and we tried a tactical and personnel experiment at Edgeley Park which failed on Easter Monday - but you punished us fully. County (and, again, Carlisle) just looked like a strong, professional, well-drilled squad: you knew what you needed to do, everyone had their job to fulfil, and you did a number on us. I was disappointed to lose both games, but not downcast because the better team won both times.
Best and worst away days of 2022-23?
Ha ha, this is where I’ll undo my good work… Of the 12 away games that I saw this season, I’m afraid my least favourite was the visit to you. Not down to the defeat or the lousy weather (we’re well used to both), or your lovely ground - it was just an unwelcoming, unfriendly place to visit. I might have been an outlier, but it felt like neither the town nor your club wanted visitors, and made no secret of it either. Honourable exception: Bask, which was a lovely place for a post-match beer and pie before the train home.
Best away ground I visited this year was actually in the league above. I had to go and watch Wycombe for a work thing and was blown away by how friendly it was. Hopefully you’ll get to enjoy the welcome next season in the Third Division!
After decades travelling around the world, Sir David Attenborough’s most recent BBC documentary covered Great Britain. Let’s imagine David and his crew have been filming Newport fans throughout the 2022-23 season. In that famous voice of his, how would he describe them?
“And, in a traditional Fourth Division mating ritual, here we see the lesser-supported Newport County being mounted by a bigger, stronger club from the frozen north. Note how the Newport County offers little resistance - she lacks either the physical prowess or the tactical nous…”
With Wrexham up and MK Dons down, there’s a couple of teams coming into League Two who generally cause quite a lot of debate wherever they go. You’re on Moonpig.com buying a welcome card for both of them. What messages are going inside?
Do they sell cards saying “Fuck off”? Franchise FC, let us not forget, are a pariah club whose very existence is not in the wider interests of football. The best thing would have been for them to be strangled at birth, the second best thing would be for them to continue their downward trajectory and fall out of the league.
As for our six-fingered friends from North Wales, who you so obligingly prevented from winning the Conference 12 months ago, we don’t begrudge them their wealth or success particularly - but the tedious starfucking from the media (especially the Welsh media) has got ridiculous now.
Can Newport challenge for the play-offs next season? Is the Wrexham media circus getting a little bit ridiculous now? And what would King Charles make of a cup of Bovril with croutons on top? Join in the debate and leave your comments below.
Grab yourself a “Stockport Isn’t Shit” bag
You might not know Jen from Hug & Co, but if you’re from Stockport you’ll definitely recognise the bag she designed, which was originally posted online as a bit of a joke before she was inundated with requests from people wanting to buy one! You can still get your hands on one of these bags and be able to proudly announce that “Stockport Isn’t Shit” wherever you are in the world.
Visit hugandco.co.uk for further details.
Today in SK
❓ Question number one. How many tickets have Stockport County been allocated for their play-off semi-final at Salford? Yeah, apologies, it’s a bit too soon to joke about that, isn’t it? I’m sure the questions will be miles better than this one at tonight’s quiz at Bask (SK1) and there’s a fantastic prize on offer too - tickets to Bask’s Reverend & The Makers gig next month. 7.30pm. Tickets £3.
🍺 Fancy a few midweek drinks tonight? The Nelson Tavern (SK1) have a great range of offers throughout the week, including £4.50 for drinks off the Doubles Bar, a comprehensive range of shots for £2, and 3 for £6 on Jägerbombs.
Photo of the day
Edgeley Park
Neil Matthews signs on the dotted line for County from Halifax in 1990. The striker went on to score 15 goals in 47 appearances for the Hatters, including two on the final day of the 1990-91 season as Danny Bergara’s memorable attacking team beat Scunthorpe 5-0 to win promotion to Division Three.
It was reported yesterday that Neil had passed away at the age of 56 from cancer. Our thoughts and condolences are with all of Neil’s friends and family. RIP. 💙
Never mind Google or Yell.com, we’ve got you covered
STOP! That got your attention, didn’t it? Just a quick one… I’d hazard a guess that at some point in May, all of our readers will use Google or Yell.com at some point looking for a particular product or service. But before you do, please have a quick look at our own directory to see if we have what you’re looking for. A number of great businesses support The Scarf My Father Wore, allowing us to publish fresh content every day, so let’s send a few enquiries their way in return.
Click here to have a look at all the businesses in our directory.