The Streets of Stockport
Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of Stockport – every single one of them, on an epic fundraising walk for Mentell
Monday 2 October 2023
NEXT HOME GAME: Forest Green – Tuesday 3 October, 7.45pm
NEXT AWAY GAME: Salford – Tuesday 10 October, 7.45pm
Dear County fans, Stopfordians, and anyone else joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Monday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.
I’ve got a bit of a long read to share with you today, which is essentially what Substack was set up for, to share writing within a like-minded community. I’m hoping our particular community (700+ subscribers and thousands of other readers) can donate a few quid today to get the ball rolling with my upcoming fundraising walk for Mentell. If you can spare a couple of quid, please click here to make a donation.
I’d like to say a huge thank you to Harry, Chris and James for helping me produce today’s article, which will hopefully help anyone who’s struggling with mental health issues at the moment. I’ll be writing a series of features throughout this journey, and I’ll share the experiences of other County fans who recently got in touch with me as well.
Finally, a huge thank you to Riks Fencing & Landscaping for sponsoring today’s edition.
Des Junior
🎵 So, how can you tell me you're lonely
And say to me that the sun don't shine?
Let me take you by the hand
And lead you through the streets of Stockport
I'll show you something that’ll make you change your mind 🎵
I adore that song. Originally written by singer-songwriter Ralph McTell while he was busking in the late 60s, County fans simply swapped London for Stockport when they embraced it a decade or two later (depending who you ask) as a terrace chant at Edgeley Park, but the ballad remains cemented as one of my favourite County songs of all time.
I walked past a bar in the centre of Liverpool recently where a young Scouse musician was serenading his afternoon listeners with the original London version of the song. Instantaneously, however, I heard the Stockport lyric in my mind; specifically, away ends across the country in 1996-97, when thousands of Hatters, young and old, were constantly bursting with pride as they belted out the song’s emotional chorus, with Angell, Armstrong & Co continuing to defeat a number of bigger clubs in their own back yard – from Sheffield United to Blackburn, Stoke to Southampton. I’d absolutely love us to resurrect the song this season, when we’ve just scored a late winner at Crewe on a Tuesday night, or clinched the title on the final day at Y Cae Ras…
The title of the song (our version, not Ralph’s) fits perfectly for a charity challenge I’m starting in the next few days: walking every street in Stockport. That’s every street – and the roads, and the avenues, and the crescents – in SK1, SK2, SK3, SK4, SK5, SK6, SK7 and SK8. Alphabetically speaking, I’ll be pounding the streets from Adswood to Woodsmoor. If that was a single walk, I could manage it in under half an hour. Walking every street in Adswood and every street in Woodsmoor, however, might take slightly longer to complete. And don’t even get me started on Bramhall, Bredbury, Brinnington, Cale Green, Cheadle, Cheadle Heath, Cheadle Hulme, Compstall, Davenport, Edgeley, Gatley, Heaton Chapel, Heaton Mersey, Heaton Moor, Heaton Norris, Hazel Grove, Heald Green, High Lane, Marple, Mellor, Offerton, Portwood, Reddish, Romiley, Woodford and Woodley as well.
Fuck me, I think I’ve got blisters just reading that.
The title of the song and the title of the challenge go hand-in-hand; there’s also a powerful synergy between the lyrics and the charity I’m raising money for. Many people view the song as a rallying cry against homelessness, but it also reflects loneliness, and emptiness, and alienation – themes which will painfully resonate with a lot of men who’ve experienced mental health issues. That’s where a charity like Mentell comes in.
“I wouldn’t be where I am today without Mentell,” admits Harry Bruckshaw, a lifelong County fan who started suffering with depression in his early 20s. “I just couldn’t see any sort of light at the end of that tunnel. I struggled with it on and off for a few years but then in my late 20s I went off the rails quite badly. I’d say the lowest moment was having to tell my grandparents about the situations I found myself in, seeing how sad it made them. I put out a cry for help on social media and a member of Mentell got in touch.”
Harry turns 30 in December, in between County’s festive trips to Barrow and Bradford. And within a couple of months of that milestone, he’s going to become a dad for the first time. His 20s may have been a struggle, but his 30s promise to be much brighter following a heartwarming turnaround. Friends and family have obviously helped with that process, but Harry’s keen to point out that the charity has also played a key role.
“Mentell has helped me in so many ways,” he continues. “From realising I’m not alone with my issues, to putting life into perspective after hearing other lads’ stories and how hard their journeys have been. It’s really opened my eyes to so many things. I’m happy in life, happy in my relationship, which began when I started going to the meetings, and now I have a baby on the way! I’ll be forever grateful to everyone at Mentell.”
Even now, there’s no exact science when it comes to treating mental health issues. Certain medical conditions have a very simple antidote: an aspirin for a headache, a plaster for a cut knee, a course of antibiotics for a one-night stand with a barmaid from Burnley. But when it comes to finding a remedy for mental health problems, there’s fluoxetine, and there’s sertraline, and there’s paroxetine, and there’s lamotrigine, and there’s mirtazapine, and there’s a whole load of other medications that sound like spells from a Harry Potter book, but the problem at the initial stage of a diagnosis is that doctors can never be entirely sure which prescription will work for which patient. Some make you feel better instantly; some don’t have any effect whatsoever; and in certain cases, some can make your symptoms even worse, which, when you’re desperately seeking help, can be an extremely bitter pill to swallow, excuse the pun.
Understanding where mental health issues arise from in the first place can be just as difficult to decipher, although both doctors and patients seem to agree they stem from a specific trigger moment during one’s life. After all, unless a mum-to-be has been playing Cliff Richard’s greatest hits to her foetus for nine months, human beings aren’t born with mental health problems. Whatever that trigger is, it can spark a mental health crisis straight away, but it can also plant the seed for problems to develop in later life.
In the case of Chris Spinks – a County fan who attended most games home and away throughout the 2000s before moving to North Wales in 2011 – he started experiencing problems around 18 months ago, but feels his own trigger moment came quite some time before that.
“My daughter was quite ill when she was a baby and throughout her early life,” Chris explains. “We were caught up in her care and never really dealt with it at the time. I brushed those feelings off and tried to get over it.
“Then at the start of this year, everything seemed to get on top of me. My dad died nearly three years ago, and with my daughter’s illness as well, it finally became too much to hold in. I started having suicidal thoughts, because everything I was trying to feel better wasn’t working. I had a massive panic attack in work, and ended up in a pretty bad way. My wife reached out to some professionals and I spoke to them. They really made a difference and helped me open up to people close to me about how I was feeling.
“I haven't fully dealt with the grief of losing my dad. I still can't accept what my daughter has been through. I doubt I ever will. I can, however, tell when I'm not right, and I’m now able to open up a bit more, preventing me from going back to a pretty dark place. I can openly talk about my issues and hope that others can open up as well after reading other people’s experiences. Please reach out and talk.“
Sadly, James Hoskison also started struggling following the death of his father, John – a wonderful man who always stopped for a County chat on Hardcastle Road as he bought the latest copy of my fanzine back in the day. James was seven when his dad first took him to Edgeley Park in 1984-85, and they’d shared a love for watching both County and Salford’s rugby league side ever since.
“My dad passed away in 2018 after being diagnosed with bowel cancer three years earlier,” says James. “I struggled with mental health problems on and off during those three years, as my dad had good days and bad days, but things became worse after we lost him. I received help at work and I also sought private bereavement counselling as I had anxiety and low moods, and no patience with people whatsoever.
“In 2019 I sat by the side of a reservoir contemplating suicide. I can’t swim, so I knew that would be it if I went in. Then I received a message from my mum. It was only a simple ‘How are you doing?’ sort of message, but it prevented me from taking my own life.”
Speaking to James four years on from that harrowing moment in his life, he sounds much happier and positive moving forward. Having admitted to drinking too much to ease some of the pain, he hasn’t touched a drop for three months now. Have a guess what else he started doing three months ago…
“I joined Mentell in July. I found their details online after seeing what Dave Thompson was doing for the charity, who I didn’t know at the time but I do now. I saw that their meetings were held at County and thought to myself, ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’
“Since then I’ve been every Monday and it’s a service I’ll continue to use. As I’ve said, I haven’t had a drink for three months now, and the meetings with Mentell have certainly helped to put me on a decent path. The group is growing and the facilitators are very good at what they do. If anyone else is struggling, they should definitely give it a go.”
I’m so grateful to Harry, Chris and James for sharing their stories with us, I really am. Men seem to find it extremely difficult to open up about their feelings, with males accounting for 74% of the 5,583 suicides registered in England and Wales in 2021. But talking about your problems and getting things off your chest truly does help, and even reading about other people’s experiences can be beneficial for someone struggling. If that someone is you, I hope this has helped. As you’ve seen above, if you can just find the strength to take that first step, you can start to feel better and get your life back on track. You’re not alone.
Seeing that emotion and honesty from our trio of contributors above, I feel it’s only fair I do the same, especially as I’m hoping you’ll contribute a few quid to my fundraising walk if you’re able to.
Saturday 7 March 2009. That was the day my own problems started. I was only 24. I honestly can’t believe it was 14 years ago, because that day is etched in my mind as if it was yesterday.
It was in fucking Scunthorpe of all places. You might think that’s rather bizarre in itself; what’s even more bizarre is stumbling upon a photo recently which captured myself on the exact day my life changed dramatically. On first glance, you won’t see me. You’ll see former County striker Kevan Hurst firing the ball past Owain Fon Williams to give Scunthorpe United a sixth minute lead in a Coca Cola League One match at Glanford Park. Take a closer look, however, and you’ll find me. It appears as if Kevan’s right hand is caressing my right tit, if that helps.
I’d not felt right all day. I managed to make it through the match even though I was gradually feeling worse (for the stattos like me, Michael Raynes scored our consolation in a 2-1 defeat) before the real fun started on the journey home. Whatever those feelings had been throughout the day, they morphed into a full blown panic attack on the Fingerpost Flyer. Now, 99% of people phone for an ambulance the first time they experience a panic attack because it genuinely does feel like you’re dying. You can’t breathe properly, you get chest pains, basically it feels like you’re having a heart attack. Let me tell you, it’s frightening having a panic attack when you’re at home, or in the office, or in a shop. But it’s even worse when you’re on a pissing motorway.
I’m guessing we’re on the M180 or M62 at this point, readers. Forgive me for not making a mental note of the exact location; I was hyperventilating on the hard shoulder by this point fearing I was on my way out. I’d insisted the driver pull the coach over, one of the Fingerpost lot had phoned for an ambulance, and I was sat on some steel barriers with my heart beating faster than the cars whizzing right past me at 70 miles an hour.
I can’t remember which hospital I was carted off to either. I’ve got Wakefield in my head, but I can’t be certain. I do remember being given some diazepam, which finally calmed me down, before having to get three trains home if memory serves me correctly – to Leeds, to Manchester, and then finally, Stockport. It was around midnight when I walked through the front door. I didn’t even grab a shower and get a taxi down to Cobdens, which I would have done on any other day in 2009, so that tells you how traumatic my little trip to Lincolnshire had been.
The mental health umbrella is a large one, with lots of different conditions nestled underneath it: schizophrenia, OCD, anorexia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, bulimia, PTSD, it’s a long list. In my experience over the years, there’s not many people who just have one problem, as a number of them can be linked closely together. Personally speaking, I’ve had three on my mental health bingo card – anxiety, depression and panic disorder.
It’s very much a ‘chicken and the egg’ scenario for a lot of mental health sufferers, as you’re not always entirely sure what came first. I started feeling depressed around that time (I’ve found that working in a Manchester telesales office for any longer than a year will do that to you) but I couldn’t tell you whether the depression led to that first panic attack, or whether the panic attack led to the depression, as they started having a major impact on my life with their sheer frequency and severity. Having struggled for so many years, more with the panic attacks than anything else, I’m actually starting therapy soon, as it’s the one potential solution I’ve never explored. So if any answers or explanations do start to come up, I’ll share those with you throughout the course of this journey. If my therapist uncovers my trigger to be Wembley in 1994, I’m going to sue the pants off David Elleray.
And so to the walk, to finish this article off. I’ve previously raised nearly £2,000 for the mental health charity, Mind, and I’d have probably chosen them once again had it not been for Dave Thompson’s fundraising efforts earlier this year.
Dave’s moving story surrounding the death of his son George, a lifelong County fan who took his own life in 2021 at the age of just 18 after struggling with mental health problems, has touched so many of us. I find Dave and his family incredibly inspirational, along with so many other County fans and people across the town, as evidenced by the £9,400 he raised for Mentell during his charity boxing challenge back in August.
I know Mentell helped Dave enormously during the darkest days of his life, and the likes of Harry and James above have also shared their praise for the support they’ve received. As I prepare to walk ‘The Streets of Stockport’, a charity founded and based in the town, which has helped so many County fans and other people across the borough suffering with mental health issues, feels like the right choice to raise money for.
I used to play football three or four nights a week when I was younger, but that slowly begins to dwindle as you start to get older. Since then, I’ve found walking extremely therapeutic. It’s always helped to relieve my anxiety, not to mention the general health benefits it brings, and after randomly reading about a guy who walked every block in New York, I’ve always been intrigued about doing the same in my hometown.
Now’s the time. I turned 39 three days ago, and I’ve had a desire to attempt some sort of challenge before I turn 40. Don’t worry, this isn’t some sort of midlife crisis. I’ve not bought a sports car, or started sleeping with a 20-year-old, and I’m certainly not squeezing my body into some ill-fitting lycra before nipping into Decathlon for a new bike. But I am in the mood for a walk, and if I can raise awareness and money for a fantastic charity doing great work throughout the town at the same time, even better.
Now where’s my Crocs…
Please note, all of the contributors in this article came forward personally to share their experiences. Mentell would never disclose any of your details, with your attendance at meetings and any information you share treated with the strictest confidence.
Mentell meet every Monday at Edgeley Park, 7pm till 9pm. Visit mentell.org.uk to sign up.
Click here to donate through Des Junior’s JustGiving page.
Have your fences blown over? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered
The 1,901 County fans who travelled to Accrington on Saturday will attest to the weather becoming extremely wet and windy at the moment. Weather that might even send your fence crashing to the ground. If that happens, be sure to get in touch with Riks Fencing & Landscaping.
The business offers a fantastic range of composite decking and fencing. Unlike wooden fencing and decking which needs to be maintained, stained and sealed regularly, composite decking and fencing is made from a composite of recycled plastics and real wood fibres that is very low maintenance and resistant to stains, mould, mildew, cracking, splitting and warping.
For a free survey and quotation, call 0161 494 0469 or 07745 720463, mentioning “The Scarf My Father Wore” to receive a 10% discount.
Photo of the day
A great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of our contributors, Stuart MacKinkay, a lifelong County fan and member of the Stockport Sippers Society. (Stuart’s the one on the left.)
Today in SK
🥙 Food and drink
Kebabs are just £3 all day at Fishers of Cheshire (SK2).
Med Monday at TRUNK (SK7) between 12pm and 9pm. Enjoy three tapas dishes for £15. T&Cs apply. Call 0161 222 9260 to book a table, and mention “The Scarf My Father Wore” to receive a 15% discount off the normal tapas menu.
🎤 Open mic night
Bask (SK1) usually has its popular Acoustica night on a Monday, but all three acts have had to cancel this evening due to illness. Instead, there’s an open mic night taking place, so if you fancy performing on the Bask stage, head down there!
❓Quiz night
The George & Dragon (SK7). 7.30pm.
The Scarf My Father Wore works closely with venues on a daily basis to bring you the most comprehensive guide to all of the best offers and events taking place across the whole SK region. Click on the links below for full details of everything taking place in your area over the next few weeks.
SK1 / SK2 / SK3 / SK4 / SK5 / SK6 / SK7 / SK8 / SK9 / SK10 / SK11 / SK12 / SK13 / SK14 / SK15 / SK16 / SK17 / SK22 / SK23
We’ve got everything from Art & Gifts to Yoga
We might not have found a psychic from Poynton or a dominatrix from Davenport just yet, but we’ve pretty much got you covered for all other products and services you might need across Cheshire and Greater Manchester. Just take a look at this little lot…
Art & Gifts - Bags - Builder - Butcher - Carpets & Flooring - Chartered Accountants - Cleaning - Coach Hire - Coatings - Dog Walking - Financial Services - Fire Protection - Football Prints - Gardening - Glazier - Ironing - IT Services - Kitchen Appliances - Locksmith - Osteopath - Painter & Decorator - Party & Event Services - Personal Trainer - Physiotherapist - Plasterer - Plumber - Recruitment - Removals - Security Equipment - Shoe Repairs - Sports Coaching - Timber Supplies - Tutor - Vintage Clothing - Web Design - Window Cleaner - Workwear - Yoga
On a serious note, our sponsors help us to keep The Scarf My Father Wore completely free of charge for everyone (rather than paying for a subscription, like most Substack websites) so if you do enjoy our daily offerings, please support them whenever you can. Make a mental note to yourself that whenever you need a cleaner, or a plumber, or a solicitor (or if you are looking for a dominatrix, send me a private message as I know a cracking lady in Heaton Moor…), check out our own directory before you head over to Google or Yell.com. Loads of the businesses we work with are County fans, and we’ve often got great offers for our readers as well.
Click here to have a look at all the businesses in our directory.