Saturday 15 July 2023
NEXT HOME GAME: Huddersfield – Saturday 22 July, 3pm
NEXT AWAY GAME: Altrincham – Today, 3pm
Morning all!
Realistically, a plane was your only option to get to County’s friendly last weekend, whereas transport fans have an abundance of vehicles to choose from today: bicycle, bus, car, train, tram, or even a left and a right foot. How many Hatters actually choose to spend their Saturday afternoon at Moss Lane is another matter, however, with the weather forecast predicting a lot of cats and a lot of dogs coming down over Altrincham.
I hope Hannah Brown and Dave Thompson, plus the rest of County’s Spanish travel club, are stood on the terraces this afternoon, because I’ve got a funny image in my head (and this might sound a little bit mean after Hannah and Dave both contributed cracking articles from Murcia last week) of the heavens opening, and a collective “fuck this” emanating from our sunburnt/sunkissed señors and señoritas as they get drenched!
I’m sure the rain will put some off, but the away end will certainly be boosted by County’s shirt nonces (and I use that term affectionately) eager to catch a first glimpse of the Hatters in that beautiful new black and yellow number. (If there’s any brand new 5-a-side teams starting up in Stockport this season, I fully expect to see a Borussia Davenport or a Bredbury Dortmund.)
We’ve got some Alty-related stuff from Ian Brown and Jonathan Baker for you today, whether you’re reading it in bed, or on the M56… or a tram… or the number 11…
Finally, a big thank you to Suzanne, Steve and all the team at Delta Telecom Sound & Security for sponsoring today’s edition.
Enjoy your weekend (and don’t forget your brolly!)
Des Junior
Des Junior loves writing about County. But he can never be arsed doing match previews. They’re a bit dull, aren’t they? Paddy Madden’s out for two games with an ingrown toenail…blah blah blah…tomorrow’s referee has handed out more cards than Moonpig…blah blah blah…County haven’t won at Birmingham since 1672.
Fortunately, he has a number of fellow County content providers to call upon. Here’s their thoughts, general chit-chat and score predictions, as County’s pre-season campaign continues about a thousand miles nearer than last weekend’s game.
Ian Brown, hedgegrower
Altrincham 2 County 3
What are your best and worst memories from previous games against Altrincham?
In 2013 over 16,500 people were so naffed off with life on this planet, they signed up for a trip to Mars in 2023 – no air, water or food on arrival, and definitely no return ticket! I found myself asking just what would drive someone… anyone… to give up life as they know it and opt instead for certain death, only for an early season trip to Altrincham in 2013-14 to make me wonder how to volunteer myself.
County’s display was abject, and despite over 2,000 away fans making the effort to support them, Ian Bogie’s side lost the game 3-0, and deservedly so with Alty by far the better team. For the first 41 minutes County held out but they seldom made any progress beyond the halfway line to put any pressure on Alty.
In the 42nd minute, County surrendered a poor goal, and the game thereafter became a procession with the Robins pressuring County with monotonous regularity. Two more goals went in for Alty among misplaced passes galore from the Hatters, and we were perhaps lucky to keep the score to 3-0 by the end of a wholly forgettable match.
By 2021 we had left the National League North and were pressing for promotion to the Football League. In December we took on Alty at Edgeley Park in an altogether happier occasion as County rewarded a bumper crowd with a sparkling performance in a 5-1 win.
County were 3-0 up inside 13 minutes via goals from Sarcevic, Madden and Quigley, as Alty struggled to cope with the cut and thrust of County’s line-up. Will Collar added a fourth before the break, with Alty defending heroically in the second half, only conceding once more as Dave Challinor’s men scored their fifth in the 82nd minute through Ollie Crankshaw to round off an excellent afternoon.
Jonathan Baker aka Geordie Hatter, The County Away Day Show
Altrincham 0 County 3
With a plethora of ways to travel from Stockport to Altrincham, let’s have a top five playlist centred around all of those different options.
5) “Get ‘Round Town” by The Pastels (a tune for the plane)
In stark contrast to the continental away day destination just returned from by the more intrepid among our County Nation, the Cheshire market town of Altrincham may not be directly reached via passenger jet, so it is timely of our favourite 1980s Scottish shimmer-merchants The Pastels to remind us here of the impracticability of the supersonic wing-borne mode of personal conveyance within the context of intersuburban transportation. We’ll save the air miles for next year’s close season overseas adventures.
4) “Causeway” by Inspiral Carpets (a tune for the car)
The precise identity of the thoroughfare celebrated within this fine slice of Hammond-inflected pop remains unknown, but if Oldham’s finest flop-haired four-piece ever wished to dedicate this cruelly underrated minor hit to a named dual carriageway, they could surely do worse than alight on the A560, which links Altrincham to Stockport via a route so ramrod straight as to find favour with even the most exacting ancient Roman engineer. The journey from Edgeley Park to Moss Lane may be achieved within 20 minutes on a quiet July Saturday, but the 40 minutes surely to be then spent negotiating the Altrincham backstreets in search of a parking spot place this option firmly within the relegation zone.
3) “SNCF” by DJ BomaNdoki (a tune for the train)
For the best part of 20 years, our summer family holidays have taken us via overnight ferry to Brittany, and once awaiting our onward conveyance from harbour to coastal resort, the aural sensation that confirms to us that we have reached Gallic lands is the unmistakeable four-note signature tune which prefaces every announcement made within a French railway station. The nostalgia-inducing catchiness of this timeless jingle is enough to stop us stone-dead in our tracks wherever we find ourselves on the far side of the Channel – and indeed did so to almost fatal effect on a memorable morning in June 2007, when we became so transfixed by its crackly emergence from a loudspeaker at a remote rural interchange that we momentarily forgot that we were in the act of hauling several suitcases and a small child across a rudimentary wooden foot-crossing traversing the express mainline, and very narrowly escaped being comprehensively flattened by a TGV Express hurtling towards Paris at approximately 240mph. As we stumbled aboard the opposite platform with our lives just about intact, we retrospectively translated aloud the prettily-intoned announcement that had followed our favourite rail-ditty: “Passengers please be aware of the oncoming train, which will not stop at this station.” Ah, fair enough.
2) “Weed Bus” by The Stairs (a tune for the bus)
Contemporaries of their more celebrated and similarly psychedelically-influenced neighbours The La’s and The Farm, Liverpool four-piece The Stairs shone only briefly, but their one early 1990s hit – this raucously tuneful ode to the delights of getting soundly out of our tiny minds on the back seats of the top deck and therefore missing our stop – has surely granted them pop immortality. For the avoidance of doubt, we should confirm that The Scarf My Father Wore does not condone the consumption of illicit substances aboard public transport, and that any County fans who choose to follow the example of our perma-stoned Scousers aboard the number 11 bus departing Mercian Way this afternoon do so entirely at their own risk. Also, it’s still a sizeable hike from Altrincham interchange to Moss Lane, and if you try to navigate it while stoned out of your heads, you’re only going to end up lost in the cheese aisle at the big Tesco and miss the kick-off. You’ve been warned.
1) “Timperley Sunset” by Frank Sidebottom (a tune for the tram)
There was only ever going to be one final destination for our Top Five this week, and that was the neighbourhood of Timperley, made famous the pop world over by noted resident The Man With The Papier Mache Head. The southernmost suburban reaches of the Metrolink’s Altrincham line are comprehensively celebrated in this career-defining Kinks tribute track, the lyrical perfection of which is only slightly marred by its near-inexplicable failure to point out that by alighting at Navigation Road station, connection may be achieved with the Chester to Piccadilly mainline rail service, with an onward journey time of just 14 minutes to Stockport station. That would be my route of choice home today – but don’t tell anyone, as the hourly service operates with only two short carriages, and if we’re not careful, we’ll end up with scenes reminiscent of Grimsby away on Good Friday a couple of seasons back. I don’t think any of us want to replay that particular game of sardines on a sweltering afternoon in July, so let’s spread ourselves out across all transport options!
Click here for 45 minutes and 44 seconds of travel-themed songs from our resident DJ!
Congratulations, Delta!
Congratulations to one of our sponsors Delta Telecom Sound & Security who have recently been chosen to be the UK distributor for Torus Key Cabinets.
The family-run business has been trading for over 50 years. They supply, install and maintain low voltage electrical equipment such as CCTV, Nurse Call, Staff Protection Systems, Door Entry and Access Control.
Steve and Suzanne actually both work at County in their spare time, in the security department, and have been loyal fans since 1996, through the good and the bad. If you’re in need of any of the services mentioned above, please give them a call.
Visit deltatelecom.co.uk for further details.
Today in SK
🥂 Food and drink
Lite bite meal deal at The Friary (SK3). Cod or haddock, served with chips, and a side of peas, curry or gravy. Plus tea or coffee. £9.95. 11.30am - 6.30pm.
Bottomless Saturday at TRUNK (SK7). Bottomless lunch £35 per person (includes 3 tapas dishes) from 12pm till 4pm. T&Cs apply and 90 minutes of selected bottomless drinks. Call 0161 222 9260 to book a table, and mention “The Scarf My Father Wore” to receive a 15% discount off the normal tapas menu.
🎤 Karaoke
Lee at The Nelson Tavern (SK1). 8pm - 1am.
🎶 Live music
Dr Uke at The Dog and Partridge (SK2). Stockport’s finest electric ukulele R&B band. 8.30pm.
Redhouse at The Armoury (SK3). A four-piece covers band playing rock, pop, indie and punk. 9pm.
The Scarf My Father Wore works closely with venues on a daily basis to bring you the most comprehensive guide to all of the best offers and events taking place across the whole SK region. Click on the links below for full details of everything taking place in your area over the next few weeks.
SK1 / SK2 / SK3 / SK4 / SK5 / SK6 / SK7 / SK8 / SK9 / SK10 / SK11 / SK12 / SK13 / SK14 / SK15 / SK16 / SK17 / SK22 / SK23
Photo of the day
Castle Street, Edgeley
Some classic 60s nostalgia.
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