Lincoln v County

Plus: Part 2 of Hannah Brown’s Spanish diary

The Scarf My Father Wore

Jul 07, 2023

Friday 7 July 2023

NEXT HOME GAME: Huddersfield - Saturday 22 July, 3pm

NEXT AWAY GAME: Lincoln (in Spain!) - Today, 4pm (Click here for our away day guide)

Hola Hatters!

I feel like a pleb from Burnley trying to order bangers and mash in Barcelona, but that genuinely is about the limit of my Spanish knowledge, although I thought I should try and make a little bit of effort ahead of County’s friendly in Murcia later today.

I feel like an even bigger pleb asking Ian Brown, Nick Lee and Jonathan Baker for their score predictions. A pre-season friendly… against a League One team… at a training centre… in the Spanish sun… that’s about as easy to predict as the date of the next asteroid hitting us. It could be today, who knows. If this is the end of the world as we know it, at least you can spend your final hours enjoying some of Ian’s County memories, Nick’s thoughts on straw donkeys, and Jonathan’s impressive music knowledge.

You can also sit back and enjoy the second instalment of “Postcards from Pinatar” by Hannah Brown. (Click here for part one if you missed it yesterday.)

If this asteroid swerves us, we’ll still have climate change to deal with. Some days are bloody hot at the moment, aren’t they? On that note, if you need a new fridge freezer to stock up on cans of pop and ice lollies, be sure to pay a visit to SW Appliances, today’s sponsor. A big thank you to Steve.

Disfruten el tema de hoy! (That should be “enjoy today’s issue” hopefully. My apologies if I’ve inadvertently called your mother a hippopotamus.)

Des Junior

Des Junior loves writing about County. But he can never be arsed doing match previews. They’re a bit dull, aren’t they? Paddy Madden’s out for two games with an ingrown toenail…blah blah blah…tomorrow’s referee has handed out more cards than Moonpig…blah blah blah…County haven’t won at Birmingham since 1672.

Fortunately, he has a number of fellow County content providers to call upon. Here’s their thoughts, and score predictions, as County prepare to get their pre-season campaign underway in Spain.

Ian Brown, hedgegrower

Lincoln 1 County 0

What are your best and worst memories from previous games against Lincoln?

I have generally enjoyed my visits to Sincil Bank – a tidy stadium with decent catering (the bacon rolls are excellent!).

For a long time during our game at Lincoln in August 2003, however, some of the gloss was wearing off early as the Imps piled into us for the first half an hour. A classy goalkeeping display from our current goalkeeping coach Nick Colgan was essential, and he obliged magnificently, with a spectacular double save to keep out Paul Mayo a particularly fond memory. Thanks to Nick, we held out, and County started to come into the game in the second half but without ever really looking like scoring. Indeed, I remember seeking Stuart Barlow’s substitution fairly late in the game when he missed a sitter, only to be comprehensively silenced a few minutes later when he buried the next chance that came his way and won the game for us.

My worst memory is probably the 4-3 defeat at Edgeley Park during our final season in the Football League. To be fair, we were notionally in contention for a good part of the game, but County could just not handle Ashley Grimes, who grabbed an important hat-trick for the visitors (although they were also relegated to the Conference that season).

Nick Lee, The Scarf Bergara Wore

Lincoln 2 County 4

Spain. What’s good and what’s bad?

I’ve never been to Spain but my favourite thing has to be the straw donkeys that people bring back from there in old TV shows. It’s one of the best bits of TV shorthand ever. Saves them having to actually say it in the script or anything. Honourable mention for the way the rain falls mainly on the plain as well.

Worst thing is a tricky one. I’ve narrowed it down to two. Paella and Mikel Arteta. One’s a vile disgusting sexless oddity that looks like it probably stinks, and the other is a seafood dish (waheeeyyyyy). I’ve no time for seafood or indeed the sea, there’s some bloody horrible looking stuff in there. As for Arteta, I can’t stand the whinging bastard. Plus he gives me the vibe of Action Man. I’m 90% convinced that if you pulled his strides down he’d be completely smooth down there.

County to win 4-2 today. Purely based on Hannah Brown telling us on the pod that the County squad looked more together than the Lincoln one.

Jonathan Baker aka Geordie Hatter, The County Away Day Show

Lincoln 0 County 3

County in Spain. You’re going to have to do a Spanish-themed playlist for those County fans lounging by the pool…

1) “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash

The story goes that just as the band were about to launch into the studio recording of what would become perhaps their most iconic track, lead singer Joe Strummer announced out of nowhere in particular that what the newly-minted song really needed was a demonically hollered backing vocal, immediately echoing the words of the main one, except in rudimentary and quite possibly grammatically questionable Spanish. From that point onwards the details surrounding the session get a little hazy, with the creation of the cod-Castilian sub-lyric we can just make out under the album version's raucous tubthumping melody variously credited either to the Tex/Mexican backing vocalist Joe Ely himself, or to the Brooklyn-based mother of the recording studio's tape engineer Eddie Garcia (who hailed from either Puerto Rico or Ecuador, depending on whose account you're reading). What is for sure is that the genius Strummer's off-the-wall duo-linguistic hunch was entirely correct, and that without its Iberian-tinged shadow chorus, the song would be a mere shadow of itself, and we'd quite possibly have all forgotten it a long time ago. All together now: Me Debo Irme o Quedarme? (Answers on a postcard, if you understand the question.)

2) “Sólo Una Sonrisa” by Juniper Moon

No debate over the origins of this Ponferrada (Leon) based five-piece, who burst onto the janglechord sensibilities of floppy-fringed indiekids continent-wide during the early noughties, and proceeded to charm us with a succession of instant three-minute bubblegum-pop classics citing obsessional lovelorn fixation, earthshattering romantic break-up, and other undying themes of the genre. I played this one on the Away Day Show sometime last Spring and cautioned the County Nation that if it didn't have them bouncing around their breakfast-kitchens whirling their arms around like crazed dervishes in the opening three seconds, then this meant they probably didn't have a pulse, and should seek immediate medical assistance. This advice still stands.

3) “Espiando en mi Vecina” by Pingüino en mi Ascensor

Remaining on the Spanish mainland here with this late 80s Madrid-based outfit, whose cute moniker (translation: Penguin in my Lift) gives the opening indication that what we are dealing with here, complete with childlike organ-driven melodies, daft visuals, and left-field takes on the suburban everyday, is the Castilian capital's answer to their contemporary in cult-status-among-the-cool-kids, Timperley's very own Frank Sidebottom. In this ageless example of the two-piece's extensive oeuvre they admit with a disarming coyness to a troubling predilection for spying on an attractive female neighbour from the vantage point of their balcony, and for my twenty pesetas the three minutes of maddeningly addictive pop-nonsense could only have been improved upon by recourse to a matching pair of papier mache heads. Simply astonishing.

4) “Estuvo Bien (Suedehead)” by Mexrrissey

There's generally one number within each quintet of topic-based tunes proposed for these pages which emanates from a frantic mid-afternoon search for musical collateral matching the exacting stipulations contained within the briefing received in my inbox on publication-eve from our esteemed editor. No departure from this storied tradition is planned for the upcoming season, and to get 2023-24 underway we are proud (if somewhat bemused, frankly) to present a Mexican supergroup dedicated to rendering the Morrissey/Marr songbook (with purely serious artistic intent, as far as I can tell) in Tijuana-tinged Latino-pop mode, complete with Stephen Patrick's timeless lyric-poetry translated into the tongue of Cervantes. The results are as surprisingly appetising as a backstreet chilli-con-carne, and the challenge of choosing which of the tribute-combo’s extensive catalogue to feature for the delectation of the County Nation was solved by the fact that one of the Smiths singles selected for Hispanic overhaul shares its name with the nom de plume of a certain matchworn-shirt-collecting member of our parish. If Ben is reading, I think he'll appreciate this one!

5) “Loca People” by Sak Noel

Our season-debuting Iberian selection signs out on a disco high, with Barcelona-based DJ Isaac Mahmood Noell, who in 2009 set primetime radiowaves continent-wide abuzz (and achieved the distinction of a first UK number one single penned by a Spanish-born artist, no less) with this breakthrough border-busting hit, chronicling the spellbinding sensuosity of sunseeking summertime excess. As such, I hope the trance-flavoured track may form the ideal backdrop to the pre and post-match partying of those members of the County Nation on Eurotour city break duty with the squad this shimmering weekend – and I heartily commend it to the house. Hasta luego, one and all!

Click here for 54 minutes and 34 seconds of Spanish-themed songs from our resident DJ!

CHILL OUT! (with this brand new fridge freezer)

I don’t want to be accused of slander by a man with significantly more money than me, but I reckon Jeff Bezos has never set foot inside Edgeley Park. On that basis alone, don’t buy your kitchen appliances on Amazon. Get them from SW Appliances instead, a business owned by County fan Steve Gibbons.

Whether you visit Steve’s showroom on Castle Street, or purchase online, SW Appliances have hundreds of products in stock. You won’t get a personal service from Bezos if you buy a kettle off him, but you will if you do business with Steve. He’s the appliance version of a train spotter and what he doesn’t know about appliances simply isn’t worth knowing. (That’s not an insult by the way, it’s on his website.)

Perhaps you’re in need of a new fridge freezer at the moment. How about the one in the picture? With a total combined food storage of 280L, this Zanussi ZBB28441SV integrated fridge freezer certainly has the capacity to store family-sized quantities of food. It’s divided 70/30 between fridge and freezer, and features a low-frost freezer and a low electricity consumption as shown by its A+ energy rating. And it’s currently on sale for £399.99, reduced from £499.99.

Visit swappliances.co.uk for further details.

Postcards from Pinatar

Day 3 - Thursday 6 July

10.00am: Erm… those kits, ladies and gentlemen… slight PTSD flashbacks to my school uniform with the black and yellow but can’t see that stopping me. The away is my actual favourite colour (I reject all claims it looks like a keeper kit) and will look beautiful under the clear blue skies of Edgeley once a year.

10.05am: Make it to breakfast for the first time to find churros. And coffee. And Mark Love.

11.00am: The crowds part, the seagulls stop making a racket in deference, and Sir Steve Bellis makes his entrance.

11.30am: Pool olympics begin with a hotly contested game of circular volleyball.

11.40am: Pool olympics end with an over zealous lifeguard suggesting that no fun is allowed in the pool. She may have said balls, but I’m paraphrasing. Dan Love takes the crown in the lilo races but there are only two entrants and I forget to start the timer for one so he technically wins by default.

1.10pm: Poolside intra-squad Uno tournament is hotting up, with Mike Petch photographing events for posterity. Worth mentioning that MSH was the first podcast guest yesterday because he lost the round.

1.13pm: Confirmation the team are playing in the peppermint away kit against Lincoln. Currently trying to work out what I’ve got in my room to make a “Can I have your shirt?” sign. Eyeliner and a white towel should do it, yes?

2.03pm: Trip out to McDonald’s and the supermarket. McDonald’s in Spain has beer. And honey mustard McCrispys.

5.00pm: First trip to the Pinatar Arena for the fan event. Hosted by Steve Bellis, there’s an auction for the new home shirt, first sight of the new shirts in real life, and a Q&A with the new signings, Challinor, and Paddy. The players spend ages with the kids and fans and it’s just really nice and wholesome. Not for the first time I think how privileged we are as fans to support a club like this that takes care of its fans and engagement. Neither Preston nor Lincoln have done anything at all for their fans, and no updates on social media.

7.00pm: Start my first of four shuttle trips to the port for the post-event drinks which involve volleyball wars, beach football, and lots of beers. And lots of singing. Today’s Daniel Pinchin joke: “What do you call a Spaniard with a rubber toe? Roberto.”

Photo of the day

There’s two aspects to today’s photo. One, a little bit of nostalgia from a previous (reserve) game against Lincoln. And two, something to take the piss out of your editor with. That’s such a Tory haircut isn’t it…

Today in SK

🎶 DJ

Nelson Tavern (SK1) have their resident DJ playing on a Friday night, with Dicko (Ian Dickinson) on from 8pm till 1am.

🍟 Food and drink

Lite bite meal deal at The Friary (SK3). Cod or haddock, served with chips, and a side of peas, curry or gravy. Plus tea or coffee. £9.95. 11.30am - 7.30pm.

Friday Fiesta at TRUNK (SK7). Live music starting at 7.30pm. Great company, tasty tapas and flowing drinks – what more could you want? Call 0161 222 9260 to book a table, and mention “The Scarf My Father Wore” to receive a 15% discount off the normal tapas menu.

🎤 Karaoke

Andrew Arms (SK6).

🎸 Live music

The Select Committee at The Dog & Partridge (SK2). 8pm.

The Scarf My Father Wore works closely with venues on a daily basis to bring you the most comprehensive guide to all of the best offers and events taking place across the whole SK region. Click on the links below for full details of everything taking place in your area over the next few weeks.

SK1 / SK2 / SK3 / SK4 / SK5 / SK6 / SK7 / SK8 / SK9 / SK10 / SK11 / SK12 / SK13 / SK14 / SK15 / SK16 / SK17 / SK22 / SK23

We’ve got everything from Art & Gifts to Yoga

We might not have found a psychic from Poynton or a dominatrix from Davenport just yet, but we’ve pretty much got you covered for all other products and services you might need across Cheshire and Greater Manchester. Just take a look at this little lot…

Art & Gifts - Bags - Builder - Butcher - Car Valeting - Carpets & Flooring - Chartered Accountants - Cleaning - Coach Hire - Coatings - Dog Walking - Financial Services - Fire Protection - Football Prints - Glazier - Internet Installation - IT Services - Kitchen Appliances - Locksmith - Mobile Car Repairs - Osteopath - Painter & Decorator - Party & Event Services - Personal Trainer - Physiotherapist - Plasterer - Plumber - Recruitment - Removals - Security Equipment - Shoe Repairs - Solicitors - Sports Coaching - Timber Supplies - Tutor - Vintage Clothing - Workwear - Yoga

On a serious note, our sponsors help us to keep The Scarf My Father Wore completely free of charge for everyone (rather than paying for a subscription, like most Substack websites) so if you do enjoy our daily offerings, please support them whenever you can. Make a mental note to yourself that whenever you need a cleaner, or a plumber, or a solicitor (or if you are looking for a dominatrix, send me a private message as I know a cracking lady in Heaton Moor…), check out our own directory before you head over to Google or Yell.com. Loads of the businesses we work with are County fans, and we’ve often got great offers for our readers as well.

Click here to have a look at all the businesses in our directory.