Selfish County fans, a trip to ‘The Den’, and Alun Armstrong’s son… it’s Harrogate away!
John K. Bilsbury, John Edgerton and Simon Lomas have the honour of reporting on County’s first ever Football League trip to Wetherby Road for The Scarf My Father Wore
Friday 17 February 2023
Evenin’ all!
It’s a bit of a late one from me today, but for those of you having a quiet one tonight before the big promotion battle at Edgeley Park tomorrow, here’s a nice long read to enjoy, as a couple of Johns and a Simon take a look back at Harrogate away.
There’s only six days to go until ‘The County Comedy Quiz’ at Bask. A huge thank you to everyone who’s bought tickets so far. If anyone else is free next Thursday, come and join me and Benji for a top night out. We’ve got a cracking quiz. We’ve got great prizes. We’ve got Paul Jones joining us for the evening. We’ve even got a little bit of stand-up comedy as well. All that for a fiver. Click here to join us.
I’d like to say a huge thank you to Paul and all the team at Colourtone for sponsoring today’s edition. See below for further details on what they have to offer.
Enjoy your Friday night pint!
Des Junior
🎶 “We go to all the away matches, by bus, by train, by car. And we get so pissed before the game, we don’t know where we are.” 🎶
A lyric from a classic County song gave Des Junior a little bit of inspiration for this regular feature - why have one away day review when you can have three! So for every away game County play (well, unless it’s like Plymouth on a Tuesday night), The Scarf My Father Wore will be sending three intrepid reporters out into the unknown to share their tales from motorways and train stations across the country.
After walking his dog in the morning, John K. Bilsbury took up his regular seat on the Fingerpost Flyer.
Up: 5am. I’d lain awake for an hour or so before giving up on any chance of more shut-eye. The big news on getting up was a £2.60 win on the EuroMillions, which was nice.
Clobber: As usual, inspired by Johnny Nice Painter from The Fast Show… Black, Black, Black! Black Daoirí Farrell T-shirt, black Ixion polo shirt, black trousers, black cord cap. In deference to the February weather, a green jumper and green waterproof coat as well.
Breakfast: Microwave porridge, with a spoonful of honey, and two cups of keep-a-rhino-awake-for-a-month coffee.
Before: Walked Flori the dog round Great Moor Park, spoke to the other local dogs’ servants, returned home and gave Flori his breakfast. Discussed plans for the day with Janice and listened to Geordie Hatter’s County Away Day Show until it was time to leave.
Outbound: Janice usually gives me a lift to the Fingerpost but that wasn’t possible today, so I took the Land Rover for a rare outing. Parked up at the back of the pub and joined the queue for the Flyer. I say queue but some people just stroll blithely to the front of it, so it’s really just a line of people with those at the back seething about those who pushed in at the front.
Snagged a seat behind Hedgegrower and set my stall out. Book to read (Get Those Sheep Off The Pitch by Phil Staley) and clamped my phone to the fold-down table ready to watch the football later. Listened to the rest of Geordie Hatter’s programme, followed by Mark Steel’s excellent What The F*** Is Going On…? podcast. Watched the opening exchanges of West Ham v Chelsea until we arrived in Harrogate.
The coach dropped most of us off by the Woodlands Hotel, amid some confusion about where it was going to park. I decided to strike out for the ground on foot and was surprised to see the Flyer going past and dropping the rest of the punters off by the turnstiles. It turned out that the Harrogate stewards were being their usual awkward selves, but eventually a deal was thrashed out whereby the coaches could collect us outside the ground after the match.
Us: We’d sold out our meagre allocation but the ground layout doesn’t lend itself to a great atmosphere. There was some friction between those in the seats and those on the terrace who insisted on standing in the walkway and blocking the view of the pitch. The stewards couldn’t shift them and just bleated “What do you want me to do?” when people complained. Pathetic on their behalf and selfish on behalf of the County fans who were happy to block the view of others as long as they could see.
Them: Very quiet, not helped by the fact that County had the upper hand for most of the game.
First: Sat next to my mate Allen and watched us dominate a poor home team. Our seats were at pitch level so we didn’t have the best view. Sent the occasional text update to Janice back at HQ. Went to the gents just before half-time and was surprised to see three blokes skulking in there, peering at their phones. Why travel over the Pennines and pay to get in the ground, only to spend the afternoon staring at your phone in a small room smelling of urine? It seems very odd to me.
Half: Talked to those around us, stared at my phone until the players returned to the field. Pleased to see my team selection got 11/11 on FanHub.
Second: Harrogate must have got a rocket at half-time and were on top at first. It looked dodgy for a while after they got a goal back and they seemed to have won the midfield. Ryan Rydel’s pinpoint cross and Will Collar’s header meant we could all relax again.
Post-match: Waited outside the ground for the coaches to turn up, relieved that those of us who struggle to walk far didn’t have to toil all the way to the sports centre where the coaches were meant to park.
Inbound: I watched Chesterfield v Notts County on the way home, which ended the way I was hoping.
After: Ordered samosas and a Pakistan-style keema from Heaviley Tandoori and collected it on the way home. Watched a re-run of Arsenal v Brentford then took Flori for a walk.
Bed: Tried to keep awake until Janice got back from the murder mystery thing at No.2 daughter’s house but lost the fight with my eyelids about midnight.
Coach: £17
Ticket: £19
Food and drink: £6 for the packed lunch I took on the coach, £2 for a cup of tea at the ground, and £13 for the curry.
TOTAL: £57
Away day rating: 7/10. The win was great but the stewarding, the behaviour of some fans and the ground itself took some of the gloss off the day.
John Edgerton stocked up on Moretti in Manchester before catching a train to Yorkshire.
Up: 7.30am. That’s actually a bit of a lie-in for an away day.
Clobber: County shirt and jeans.
Breakfast: Standard Greggs sausage barm.
Outbound: A tram into Manchester to meet the lads. Picked up a few Morettis for the train. Journey was a quick one, with the train full of County fans. Had to change at Leeds but it was a breeze of a journey compared to some of the recent trains.
Pre-match: We found a sports/music bar called The Den, a rowdy place with a load of stags and a few other groups. Watched West Ham v Chelsea while playing a bit of darts and pool.
Destination: I like Harrogate. It seems clean and it’s always quiet. But would I love there? No.
Visitors: As you may have seen, one of our stands was closed the day before, so we were all put on the side with hardly any room to move. Didn’t sample any food as I was too scared to lose the small spot I had for watching the game.
Us: Same as always, travelled in good numbers (sold out our allocation). Sang and cheered and moaned and groaned but that’s what we always do.
Them: Were there any there? Couldn’t hear them even when they scored.
First: Watched what I thought was one of our best first half away performances of the season.
Half: Nothing. Didn’t move as I didn’t want to lose my place.
Second: Moaned about how bad we’d started, and kept moaning when they scored. I thought we were going to throw it away again; I’m glad I was wrong.
Post-match: We headed back to The Den as we’d been told we were welcome to go back after the game. Unfortunately, we were greeted by Max and Paddy, who said: “Not tonight.” Instead it was off to McDonald’s and Tesco for some food and drink for the train home.
Inbound: Packed at first, had to stand up for most of it. We managed to get in first class later (still don’t know how), and even tucked into some first class food. Also met some Ukrainian refugees on the train who had fled from the war. The stories they were telling us were unbelievable. Felt really sorry for everything they’d been through.
After: A takeaway and a few beers to finish the day off.
Bed: Fell asleep on the sofa around 1.30am.
Train: £18 for me and Jack.
Tickets: £20 for adults, £8 for kids.
Beer: We were in rounds, which were about £16. At least a couple of those!
TOTAL: £78
Away day rating: For the day itself, having a few laughs with great people, I’d give it an 8/10.
Car journeys can be quite boring sometimes, but not if you’re Simon Lomas, swigging Guatemalan rum and Coke on the M62. (He wasn’t behind the wheel, don’t worry.)
Up: 7.30am.
Clobber: Some standard blue jeans, white Adidas Gazelles, a stylish Adidas gilet, bobble hat, and my lucky Ukrainian underpants (you know… the ones where Chernobyl fall out).
Before: After unsuccessfully trying to piece together my Friday night in the Grapes in Hazel Grove, I prepared my Guatemalan rum and Coke in a hastily-poured-away litre bottle of peach water; it turns out replacing it with Coke from a can isn't easy so I painstakingly transferred the contents into a gravy boat to funnel into the bottle - improvise, adapt and overcome as Bear Grylls would say.
Breakfast: Guatemalan rum and Coke.
Outbound: Pretty serene. I was in charge of the Amazon music jukebox (annoyingly half-cut if you ask our designated driver) while Gaz Eccleston was sat quietly in the back writing the report for his daughter Ella’s football match, and billing her the next Alessia Russo.
Pre-match: Stopped off at the Lord Darcy, a Greene King pub in Batley. Had some gammon-topped Hunter’s chicken then arrived in Harrogate about 1.45pm. Gaz and Bradders went straight in the ground while I walked to the Empress pub for a couple of pints.
Destination: I know it's a nice town, I’ve done it on the train in the past, so I saw more of it then rather than this occasion when we parked right by the ground. Harrogate’s the kind of place you’d choose for an overnighter if you had some County totty on your arm to earn some Brownie points. Hint hint, any lovely County ladies out there, if you like a Jason Statham lookalike off Wish, I’m your man…
Visitors: Primitive for the level we’re at now. It’s a tidy enough ground but has a bit of a non-league feel to it. The terrace was packed as they’d shifted some from behind the goal due to building work - didn’t see a builder in sight though.
Us: Had a few whoppers giving Simon Weaver some unnecessary chants with the dugouts so close to the away fans. Lifted our noise levels in the second half when Harrogate threatened to make a game of it. The atmosphere was a bit flat because the drummer was refused entry, and in the first half we were almost too comfortable in the game, but we were much louder after the break with a few airings of some of the older, better chants.
Them: Didn't hear much to be honest and there aren’t many of them. I get a lot of ‘second team’ vibes off them rather than avid fans.
First: Watched the game calmly until it was rudely interrupted by a drunken nuisance in the form of Luke McNally full of Jáger. We were already 2-0 up by the time he arrived, before the mood hoover himself did everyone's head in around him.
Half: Lurched around looking for people I know to drunkenly waffle to, the poor unfortunates being Si Calvert and Cashy’s dad.
Second: Proceeded to tell Luke Armstrong his dad is a legend and that ref Darren Drysdale had an upside-down head and should be in a Humpty Dumpty identity parade. I think the rum was taking effect by this stage.
Inbound: Pretty easy getaway from the ground. A quick piss stop at the services and back in Stockport by 7pm.
After: Careered straight into the Prince Albert for a couple, had a chat with Steve Bellis, and then headed to Edgeley Park for our esteemed life president Steve Cree's 50th. Hoovered up some buffet and owned the dance floor.
Bed: Unknown, but some time on Sunday morning.
Petrol contribution: £10
Ticket: £16
Food and drink: About £25 in Harrogate, followed by another £50 or so on beer at Steve Cree’s 50th.
TOTAL: £101
Away day rating: 7/10
So there you have it folks, three tales from Harrogate away, and it’s a narrow victory for… THE TRAIN!
If you’re going to Rochdale on Tuesday night and you’d like to share your tales from what could be our last game at Spotland for a very long time, drop us a message.
Give your car a lick of paint
Granted, Stockport used to be a little rough around the edges. But the town’s getting a good old lick of paint these days, with fancy new offices, apartments, bars and restaurants springing up. You can’t be driving up and down the A6 in a tatty car with chipped paintwork, so give your car a nice lick of paint too. Colourtone is your go-to company for that. They’ve been servicing the automotive and industrial markets in Cheshire and Greater Manchester for decades, and carry an extensive range of car paint and industrial paints.
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Here’s something you should definitely do in February
Buy tickets for The County Comedy Quiz at Bask!
The Scarf My Father Wore editor, Des Junior, absolutely loves a County quiz. He’s alright at compiling County quizzes as well. Rightly or wrongly, he also fancies himself as a bit of a comedian. On that note, The Scarf My Father Wore are delighted to team up with Bask to bring you The Comedy County Quiz. It’s a proper County quiz, with some fantastic prizes on offer, but our aim is to crack you up with some of the questions along the way.
We’ve also got special guest Paul Jones joining us. The former County defender, and Bolton Wanderers legend, will be speaking on the night, as well as handing out the prizes to the winners!
Click here for our full list of things you should definitely do in February!
On this day in 2001
Since the turn of the millennium, County haven’t had too much to shout about in the FA Cup (Bolton aside, obviously). As a Football League club, we suffered two eliminations at the hands of non-league opponents, one being Staines, the other Stevenage. For our best run in the competition this century, you have to go back to 2000-01, and it was on this very day we were knocked out. After victories at Preston and Crewe, our road to Wembley came to an abrupt end with a 4-0 defeat at Tottenham in round five.
Never mind Google or Yell.com, we’ve got you covered
STOP! That got your attention, didn’t it? Just a quick one… I’d hazard a guess that at some point in February, all of our readers will use Google or Yell.com at some point looking for a particular product or service. But before you do, please have a quick look at our own directory to see if we have what you’re looking for. A number of great businesses support The Scarf My Father Wore, allowing us to publish fresh content every day, so let’s send a few enquiries their way in return.
Click here to have a look at all the businesses in our directory.