20 Questions: Crystal Palace

Ahead of County’s trip to Selhurst Park in the third round of the FA Cup, we speak to Chris Clark from Back of the Nest

Dec 25, 2024

Wednesday 25 December 2024

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Dear County fans, Stopfordians, Palace supporters, and anyone else from The Football Family joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Christmas Day edition of The Scarf My Father Wore. I hope Santa’s been good to you all!

County have got loads of League One action coming up, with three games in the next seven days, but there’s an FA Cup flavour to today’s edition, as we take a closer look at our third round opponents in January: two-time runners-up Crystal Palace. Chris Clark from Back of the Nest has written a cracking piece for us, which you can enjoy reading at some point today with a box of chocolates on the sofa (or some quality time for yourself on the toilet if the kids or the in-laws are doing your nut in).

Today’s edition is sponsored by The Mortgage Mill and APL Locksmiths. A big thank you to James and Anthony.

Anthony’s offering a 20% discount for The Scarf My Father Wore readers on any key cutting this month. If you need anything doing, give him a call on 07712 657585 or email anthony@apllocksmiths.co.uk.

Thanks also to Eastern Cuisine who sponsor our Crystal Palace content on the website. We’ll have a chat to them before the cup tie in January.

Finally, I’m currently walking every street in Stockport to raise money for mental health charity Mentell. If you’d like to make a donation to help me reach my target, please click here.

Total distance so far: 192.73 miles

Total steps so far: 311,804

Total raised so far: £2,192

Total completed streets so far: 474 (Click here for the full list, which includes reports and photos from every day of the walk.)

Further information on the walk can be found by clicking here.

Des Junior

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Dougie Freedman scores the goal to keep Palace in Division One on the final day of the season at Edgeley Park in May 2001

Palace currently play in the Premier League, which is the top tier of English football. What’s that like as a division?

There are frustrations. The prime bugbear for me is matches being rescheduled to unsuitable and inconvenient times, often at short notice, to suit the TV companies. The ridiculous insistence on digital ticketing that has seen fans miss kick-off stood outside the ground because “the system’s gone down”. And the elite nature of the competition locks out all but the most moneyed clubs from winning anything apart from the miraculous exception of Leicester. And yet, and yet… I don’t want us to be relegated. I want us to be at the top table.

Describe a typical matchday for yourself in Croydon.

There are a number of different types of matchday, mostly determined by who can attend because of the TV companies moving the majority of games. But we have a core group of friends who try to meet for every home game and often travel to away games too. We’ll circulate around a number of different pubs over the course of a season. And the day can also be shorter or longer depending on the result.

But your question was a “typical” matchday. I’m going to assume it’s a 3pm kick-off and that we’re not interested in the early televised match. I will usually go for breakfast in one of the cafes in Croydon town centre before heading to a Polish cafe-bar near Norwood Junction station called Yeha Noha. It’s a friendly place – usually away fan friendly – and the owner Bobby looks out for his regulars. We have a chap with a learning disability in our group, who generally gets a taxi to meet us there, and we head into the ground an hour before kick-off to have a pint at the craft tap room in the Holmesdale Road stand.

Our tickets are in with our ultras so we have to get to the section in time to claim a spot. After the game we’ll usually head back to Yeha Noha or The Shelverdine Goathouse pub round the corner. But other times – if it’s a memorable win, for example – we’ll take the longer walk to The Pawsons Arms where the atmosphere and the jukebox are great.

If we’ve got mates coming from further afield, we may take them for a meal, and take in some of the amazing pubs further into Croydon, such as the award-winning Claret & Ale, The Green Dragon, Art & Craft and The Cronx Tap (currently closed but hopefully reopening soon).

Who are your club’s biggest rivals?

The result I check after ours is Brighton. The reasons for this are well documented, dating to the Mullery-Allison era. We’ve had some memorable results against them over the years, for better or worse. Their club is well run and the place itself (it’s not a city) is somewhere I’ve spent many good times over the years but it’s one of those irrational things. In many respects Millwall, both geographically and especially with the racist thug associations, would be a more logical rival but they’re not in the same league; the same (minus the racism) goes for Charlton. Then there’s Man U, who have stolen two FA Cups from us in my lifetime, but every season the first fixture I check is Brighton, home and away. It just is.

What’s your best memory following Palace?

Both against Liverpool. First was ‘The Miracle of Crystanbul’, when we were 3-0 down against them the season after we came up. They were chasing Man City for the Premier League title at the time and their arrogant fans were singing “we want eight” before we scored three goals in the last 10 minutes to secure a draw and kill their title challenge. Suarez cried at the final whistle. I have never known Selhurst rock like that. A decade later, it still gives me goosebumps. The other one was marching with our ultras from the Holmesdale pub when fans from our Greek sister club Panionios were over for the Liverpool game. There were pyrotechnics, along with a new song about the history of our club. It was magical.

What’s your worst memory following Palace?

There are so many more of these. Ultimately the feeling when our club could have ceased to exist due to off-field problems is hard to beat. But matchday feelings are more visceral.

I don’t think I have or ever will be more devastated at a result than the FA Cup final in 2016. When we took the lead, our end went crazy but I couldn’t celebrate. I was in floods of tears and not happy tears because I was certain we wouldn’t make it stick. I’ve never been less happy to have my gut instinct proved right.

I remember leaving my family on Boxing Day to watch wretched performances against Cardiff, Southampton, Spurs and Fulham. Also missing one of the best goals ever scored at Selhurst (Jordan Ayew v West Ham) while in the loo!

If Crystal Palace was a TV show, which one would it be?

The Brittas Empire. We’re well-meaning but dysfunctional, beset by crisis after crisis.

What’s your ground called, and how would you describe it for someone who’s never visited before?

Selhurst Park. A proper old-school football ground in a residential area near three railway stations with a decent atmosphere, often maligned by ignorant people who don’t understand that the mainline railway can often get you somewhere faster than the Underground because that has to stop everywhere, where even with a change you can get to us quite fast. For away fans, the facilities aren’t great, inside or near the ground – but unless you’re Brighton or you’re a rude fan of another club, you shouldn’t have a problem.

What’s your thoughts on Stockport County?

We’ve not played you for over 20 years, but if you say the words “Stockport County” there’s one memory that will come to mind for any Palace fan who was alive at the time and that’s Dougie Freedman’s late winner in 2001 that kept us in Division One at Huddersfield’s expense. I was watching at home with my dad – this was just before I started going to away games. On a personal level I remember getting an autograph from a striker called Andy Preece who we’d signed from County in 1994.

Have you ever visited the town of Stockport before?

We’ve only played you eight times in my lifetime. I wish we’d drawn you away in the cup this year because your ground is one of the 92 that I haven’t yet been to! One way or another, I’ll definitely be visiting sometime soon. At the time of writing you’re close to promotion to the Championship and we’re by no means free of concern about being relegated to it – so we could even play you next year! Very keen to hear recommendations for pubs, especially those with good real ale and that don’t mind southerners coming in – but I hope I can join you in the home end rather than be there supporting Palace.

What colours do you play in, and what’s the best ever kit Palace have had?

My dad grew up 2.5 miles from the ground and in that era we played in claret and blue and were known as the Glaziers (because we were originally the works team of the men who built the famous ‘Crystal Palace’ which was intended to be a temporary structure hosting the 1851 Great Exhibition in Hyde Park before it moved to a park in Sydenham, since renamed Crystal Palace Park). Under Malcolm Allison, we switched to red and blue and became the Eagles and I’ve always known us as that. The iconic Palace kit is the red and blue one sponsored by Virgin Airways from the era when we got to the FA Cup final and finished 3rd – when UEFA decided to change the rules and rob us of European qualification at the last. Honourable mention for the white top with the red and blue sash that Vince Hilaire played in in the 70s. And the kits from the 2012-13 promotion season when Zaha scored at Brighton to get us into the play-off final.

If Palace were playing in the next FA Cup final, who’d be at Wembley as your celebrity fan?

We’re not fashionable but we have a few: Times Radio presenter John Pienaar, comedians Mark Steel (and his son Elliot Steel), Eddie Izzard, Kevin Day, Jo Brand and Holly Walsh. Also one of The Inbetweeners.

The cool pick would be the comedian and musician Doc Brown – he made a single called “Glad All Over Again” when we got to the FA Cup final under Pardew in 2016.

It’s often said that Nigel Farage is a Palace fan. All I can say is that thankfully I’ve never seen him at a game. Maybe he’s more comfortable in the corporate boxes if he does come.

What’s the most interesting fact about Crystal Palace we might not know?

We were a casualty of the Premier League’s reduction from 22 to 20 teams in 1995 – the only club to be relegated when fourth from bottom!

Who’s your all time Palace hero?

For me, Wilfried Zaha embodies our club. I really hope he gets to lift a trophy in his playing career. He deserves to. He supported our women’s team when the club was struggling. He’s got his own local football academy supporting local youth and has partnered with Stormzy in taking over a local football club. There have been so many heroes over the years that you could make a case for – and I would probably nod along with every word – before then concluding that Wilf is our GOAT. I’m not going to have children but if I’d had a son, he would have been called Wilf. I met him a year or two ago when the first team were staying at the same hotel as us, and I managed to tell him how much he meant to me without mentioning that. But it’s in the public domain now.

What sort of attendances do you get, and how would you describe Palace’s fanbase?

We’re close to selling out most home games, which is somewhere between 25,000 and 28,000. If we don’t sell out to Palace supporters, there are always neutral tourists who just want to see a Premier League match and, worse, fans of the opposing team who manage to get into the home end. Acceptable if they’re discrete but unwise and infuriating if they don’t behave.

I’d like to see our in-ground fanbase better reflect the population of the geographic area we are in, but that’s a socio-cultural and economic matter.

Over the years there have been flirtations with building a new stadium, and the previous location in Crystal Palace Park has been mentioned. Currently works are underway on a major expansion to the Main Stand, which will enhance both matchday and non-matchday revenue by adding a second tier and enhanced corporate hospitality facilities. A lot of Palace fans are sceptical about this ever happening but planning permission has been granted, and it’s a key part of Parish’s vision of building a secure foundation for the future finances of our club.

What’s your manager like?

Likeable. Olly Glasner has seen success at his previous clubs and I really hope he secures it here too. When he turned us round last season and got the team playing exciting football AND getting results, many Palace fans were talking excitedly about what would happen this season. Could we get top six, win a cup, qualify for Europe? Now we’re hoping the manager survives and we get another shot in the Prem next year. It’s the hope that kills you.

What’s your chairman like?

Steve Parish was a Palace fan before he took over as the leader of a consortium after the club nearly went bust for the second time in 15 years. At a recent away game I went to (Forest), one of that consortium came into the micropub near the station and said hello to some of my mates. They have their feet on the ground.

I do understand people’s frustrations about Steve saying “we’re going to take this club to the next level” and then letting 2-3 key players leave. The simple truth is he has the best interests of our club at heart and has delivered the most sustained period of success in our club’s history. That sustainability is priceless.

It’s how we have paid for a new Tier 1 Academy facility in Beckenham and enhanced facilities at the stadium year on year. Yet still there are people who put ‘sack the board’ stickers up in Croydon and at away games. I respect their right to their opinion, but firmly disagree with it.

What’s it like for a night out in Croydon?

People who’ve never been to Croydon like to slag it off, like it’s simultaneously the epitome of suburban dullness and a hotbed of violent crime. Neither criticism is correct. The town centre itself has been in decline for a number pf years, with a much-anticipated redevelopment by Westfield having been delayed. There used to be bustling nightclubs but many of those have closed now. There are some excellent bars, pubs and restaurants. My suggestion would be to head to The Green Dragon, not too far from East Croydon. Then you can get to the restaurant quarter and there are plenty of other good pubs nearby too.

What’s the best thing about being a Palace fan?

The matchday experience from beginning to end – even when we lose. If you didn’t have the rainy defeats where you wish you hadn’t bothered, the wins wouldn’t taste as sweet. The passion in the ground. The drums. The flags. The singing. I’m so glad this is part of my life. I’d miss it so much if that were to change.

What’s the worst thing about being a Palace fan?

There are Palace fans who’d give different answers to this question! Some would say that it’s unabashed optimists like me who say that as long as we’ve got more points than games played, we’ll stay up and that’s enough for me.

If I’m honest with myself, and with you, it’s the perennial cycle of hope and disappointment that is crushing. We sell one or two key players and the hope is that their cheaper replacements gel quickly. I’m old enough to recognise that the last decade is an outlier: in our previous history, we’d only need one chance to get relegated and we’d take it without fail! But then I regain my sense of perspective – we haven’t played that many seasons in the top flight and I have seen a majority of the games we’ve played there. Fewer than 15 years ago we were about to get wound up by a bank. Maybe now you can see why other Palace fans think perspective-merchants like me are the worst thing about our club!

What are your hopes for this season?

Survival is the priority. That’s the key to long-term financial security. And that’s how we can keep improving the infrastructure, improving matchday income, the youth system etc, all of which safeguards the future of our club in or near the top flight. Progress in a cup competition would be nice – any Prem team can beat another on its day so we could win a cup in my lifetime, and I’d love it if that happened this year rather than later or never. But we’ve spent more than half my lifetime in the second tier and my priority is always going to be the league, because that’s what brings the money in and our club has almost been driven out of existence too many times before. Never again.

➡️ Enjoyed today’s article? Click here for all of the other ‘20 Questions’ features we’ve published.

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Photo of the day

Bask, Stockport

Don’t grass me up, but I’ve hired a couple of Stockport gangsters to kidnap Louie Barry. He ain’t going back to Villa.

Random photos of County players at other clubs

#79 – Rickie Lambert, Southampton

After his stint at Edgeley Park, Rickie Lambert played for Rochdale and Bristol Rovers before moving to Southampton. He scored 117 goals for the Saints, winning two promotions and a Johnstone’s Paint Trophy.