A Tuesday night trip to Buxton

It’s a Friday flashback for you today, as we revisit a pre-season friendly from a decade ago

Nov 22, 2024

Friday 22 November 2024

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Dear County fans, Stopfordians, and anyone else from The Football Family joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Friday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.

County make the trip to the Pirelli Stadium tomorrow, which will be another new ground to tick off for me. We’ve only played at Burton once before, in October 2010, when I was on a stag do in Belfast. That means I don’t have anything Burton-related to talk about, but if you change just one letter in Burton, you get Buxton, where I have been before. I stumbled across the following article recently, which I wrote in July 2014 after County’s pre-season friendly at Buxton in the build-up to our second season in the Conference North.

Today’s edition is sponsored by Kate O’Brien Art and SW Appliances. A big thank you to Kate and Steven.

Finally, I’m currently walking every street in Stockport to raise money for mental health charity Mentell. If you’d like to make a donation to help me reach my target, please click here.

Total distance so far: 176.31 miles

Total steps so far: 284,130

Total raised so far: £2,027

Total completed streets so far: 399 (Click here for the full list, which includes reports and photos from every day of the walk.)

Further information on the walk can be found by clicking here.

Des Junior

Buxton away on a Tuesday night. It’s quite a slow start for me as I’m feeling rather young and lazy today, possibly as lazy as can be. I say a quick goodbye to my wife’s mother and I’m soon heading out to sea, even though I thought Buxton was just up the A6. I’m sailing with Captain Beefheart this evening, and a few other men who are with him, and our evening starts with a quick drive down Castle Street in a black van. I’m not planning on drinking tonight so the whisky and rum I’ve taken is quite tricky to stomach. Apparently County fans don’t usually mean Buxton, but a quick glance at our pre-season fixture list confirms tonight, for once, we do mean Buxton.

I sincerely hope that opening paragraph gets a chuckle from you, or at the very least, a small grin. Because I have a feeling tonight isn’t going to be as exciting as the festival of nostalgia we all enjoyed at the weekend. Friday night was The Lord Mayor’s show and this evening is, well, after it.

Tonight’s my first train journey of the new season – I was searching for a lift at the last minute but after getting no connection on my phone I decided to just jump on a train, which proves to be a stroke of luck as the mate I might have travelled with broke down on the way, missed the game and didn’t get home until 11pm – and within seconds of buying my ticket at Stockport station, right on cue, the word “delayed” is up in lights. The fact a revised departure time isn’t showing worries me slightly, as it’s already half past six, and everyone knows the train to Buxton takes eleven hours, but the problem is only something to do with the signals at Piccadilly and the delay is just ten minutes in the end. I also instruct my head to give itself a wobble, as would it really be the end of the world if I turned up a few minutes late to a pre-season friendly in Buxton? It’s too bloody hot to get stressed out anyway. You know the temperature must be high when a middle-aged woman at a train station in Stockport is covering herself in sun cream.

It’s definitely still pre-season as I can’t see a single County shirt at the station, or indeed anyone I know. So there’s absolutely nothing to pass the time, although I do grab a table all to myself. The Northern Rail service to Buxton really is your definition of a stopper train. As we head out of Stockport, the train is already coughing and spluttering, as if two guys at the back are pushing us down the track. After three minutes we stop at Davenport, Woodsmoor after five and myself and a load of commuters have only been travelling for eight minutes when we stop for a third time at Hazel Grove. The bloke making the announcements on the train sounds as enthusiastic as I am with all these stops. I pass my old school on the way, and realise most of the Stockport Grammar class of 2001 are probably spending their Tuesday evening in an executive business meeting, or having a look round an art gallery, or enjoying tapas and cocktails in London. Not traipsing to Buxton with a pen and a notepad.

Having turned into someone who is writing the names of train stations down, and even the time between stops, I try to look cool by putting my feet up and enjoying the ride instead. Carpet Right and The Rising Sun fade into the distance and we’re now properly heading out into the sticks. Places that some people would label just that little bit backward, where they drink the same water as everyone else, it’s just there’s something in theirs. Places like Disley. New Mills. Furness Vale. Whaley Bridge. Hmm, it seems I am still writing train stations down. I’m enjoying the journey as well. This stretch of track cuts through some lovely scenery as we go through the High Peak. I pass cars patiently waiting at a level crossing, kids playing football, quaint houses dwarfed by green hills and friends drinking cider on apartment balconies. If I was a good writer, this would be the perfect backdrop to this evening’s excursion. Tonight’s turning out to be rather pleasant. A man in a proper old school signal box even waves to our train somewhere near Chapel-en-le-Frith. That’s stop number eight, by the way.

Dove Holes is number nine. That’s when the train slows down to around five miles an hour. It’s as if the train knows the next stop is the end of the line – or even the end of the world as some would call it – and it’s doing everything in its power to prevent itself from falling into the abyss. I’m not even joking when I tell you that all the chairs on the train start properly rattling and shaking for some reason. We make it one piece, however, and we stumble into Buxton at 1930. The time, and the year. Mr Happy the train conductor announces that we terminate here. I’m not sure if he means the train or life itself.

I am, of course, only joking, before the Buxton Residents Association plan a meeting in the village hall to draft a strongly worded letter to me. The Derbyshire town is a lovely little place. Buxton station has friendly faces on display, as well as flowerbeds and bicycles to rent. Although I genuinely can’t remember if I’ve been here before. The ground, that is. I’ve definitely been to the town, drinking on an impromptu day out with County’s more ‘mischievous’ element a few years back. The locals were definitely surprised that day to see a few out of town ruffians in the fountain. As for Buxton’s Silverlands ground, I’m not sure. I have it in my mind that the ground is miles away but a local points me down a hill, then up a hill, and I arrive. It’s less than a ten minute walk. In keeping with tonight’s traditional theme I pass a couple of churches, an old people’s home, loads of bunting on one building and as I reach the ground I see an elderly County fan getting out of his car and wrapping a blue and white County scarf around his neck.

Inside the ground, this is my sort of place for watching football. Especially the charming stand behind one of the goals, a small terrace with a proper roof on it, which displays adverts for local builders and one company called Cut N Curl which wins the Tagline of the Day award for its “the Premier League of hairdressers”. Premier League, this is not. And I love it. I think I fell in love with non-league football when I used to watch the BBC’s FA Cup highlights as a kid, when John Motson and Gerald Sinstadt would be perched on some temporary scaffolding which made do as a commentary box when the cameras visited towns and villages in the middle of nowhere. Even whilst I was still at primary school, I’d ticked off all the Crewes and Bradfords and Rotherhams but I used to genuinely get excited seeing footage of packed terraces in small, rundown grounds enjoying their day in the limelight. Buxton’s is a proper FA Cup end. I quite like the Main Stand too, with its blue seats raised above the pitch, closely squeezed together in another old school stand, the likes of which they just don’t make any more. I say a quick hello to Steve Bellis and George Hudson – neither of whom really need to be here this evening, but they are anyway, which says a lot – and then notice Scott Thompson stood on the concrete underneath the front of the stand holding a plastic pint. I’m glad he’s decided to make his first pre-season foray of the summer, as I have a friend to talk to. I’m also grateful to his fiancée and future sister-in-law for sitting at home discussing wedding stuff, as that appears to have driven him round the bend and up the A6 on this fine evening.

The game kicks off. That’s the only thing worth mentioning for almost half an hour. I realise that’s why it’s only the diehards who attend every pre-season friendly. These games are just fitness sessions for the players. Any normal supporters pick and choose a couple to watch, just to dust their own cobwebs off. Putting the Mike Flynn game aside for a moment, Northwich was dull, so was Nantwich and tonight is also proving to be a chore. Alan Lord has made changes again, which is to be expected in pre-season. Ormson’s in goal behind Lees and Gregson, with Fagbola and O’Halloran at full back. Moses is parked in front of them. The forward five includes Sharp, Lofthouse, Murray and a couple of trialists – Franny Smith and Adam Baker. However, I can’t work out what shape we’re trying to play. Maybe that’s why we fail to register a single shot on target for most of this painful opening period. Buxton don’t do much either.

After 28 minutes, we have a goal. I’ve not seen County concede on my travels this season so far, so at least that record goes out of the window with some truly crap defending. The ball is given away in the middle of the pitch. Moses gives the visual interpretation of “I’m buggered if I’m chasing that ball back”. Gregson gives it a go, but he’s completely the wrong side of Shaun Tuton, who would win a running race between the two, ten times out of ten. If this was the last minute of a play-off final, I’d be expecting Gregson to be looking at a red card right, about, now. But there’s not much point in a friendly. That allows Tuton to bear down on goal, take the ball round Ormson as if the goalkeeper is a five-year-old girl skipping in the road, and slot the ball into an empty net.

County respond immediately, winning a free kick just outside the box. Bobby Lofthouse strikes the type of ball which has supporters muttering “ay up” momentarily, but the keeper pushes it away for a corner. The left foot of Lofthouse then sends over a beautiful cross to put Murray in the clear, but he displays someone who’s slightly confused after getting out of bed in the morning and standing up too quickly, and volleys the ball about half a mile wide. In truth, this first half has a real “can’t be arsed” feel to it, even amongst the supporters, with one young fan shouting out literally the opening two words of Arthur Brownlow before giving up. This really is a sedate night in sedate Buxton. On hearing the half time whistle, my brain opts for “Jesus Christ”. One fan next to me simply mutters “shit half” to himself. My first half highlight has probably been the teenagers sat at the top of the Main Stand, genuinely enjoying belting out a couple of County songs here and there. “Oh Buxton town is full of shit” doesn’t half tickle me, and hearing “tits, fanny and County” pierce the air, in complete contrast to the tranquil surroundings of sleepy Derbyshire, actually makes me LOL as the kids say.

I join the queue for food during the break, and realise we’re all stood in line for a ‘brasserie’ as the sign reads. “Erm, yes love, I’d like a cheese and onion pie and a happy ending please.” I’m still waiting in the queue ten minutes into the second half. The two girls manning Buxton’s brasserie are also in “can’t be arsed” mode this evening. Their pimp won’t be happy. None of the food is ready. I ask for a chip barm. “You’ll have a long wait, there’s no chips.” Okay, I reckon I’ll have a cheese and onion pie then. “We’ve only got steak or meat and potato.” Neither of those tickle my vegetarian taste buds, so I tell the girl I don’t mind waiting, who instantly looks confused as to why I’d rather stand around waiting for chips to be cooked than have a pie. I don’t mind waiting, though, as I eavesdrop on County fans, which warms my heart straight away. We’re a goal down in Buxton, but a County fan is asking Lou Spalding of the Fingerpost coach: “When are you taking bookings for Guiseley?” During the ensuing conversation, Lou comes out with a couple of belting quotes which have to be written down in my notepad. “Good pies at Guiseley I believe” and my personal favourite “to get to Guiseley you just head for Bradford Airport and turn left”.

I think my potatoes are still being peeled, so I’m still stood around waiting. But that does mean I get to witness an exchange between a County fan and one of the Buxton brasses which almost has me pissing my pants.

“Have you got any cheese burgers?”

“No.”

“Have you got any burgers?”

“No.”

“Have you got any chips?”

“No.”

“Erm, I’ll come back.”

The second half is well underway by this point. My potatoes are at the ‘chopping into chips’ stage I reckon. John Fitzpatrick walks past with a pint in his hand, something I should perhaps have chosen for my dinner instead. “What’s tonight Des? Ground seven?!” Actually, I’m only up to game number four. I realise this could be a bloody long season, considering County have only scored one goal in their three competitive friendlies so far. And I didn’t even see that goal as I was writing something down in Flixton. A Buxton man, possibly in his 40s, lightens my mood as he properly bollocks his stunned kid, who’s holding a lead which is attached to a ridiculously-sized dog, for doing something wrong, although I can’t work out what it is. “You know damm well he doesn’t fucking like balloons.”

The balloons are attached to a table in front of the food hatch, which has all the usual condiments on it. And these balloons have attracted the attention of a County fan who goes by the name of “Oaf”. You either know who he is, or you don’t. I’m certainly not attempting to write down a character description. Maybe the following will help. Firstly, a couple of Man United shirts appear in the queue for food. I’ll let the young boy off, but the adult he’s with should know better. Although he looks, and sounds like, exactly the sort of chap Sky News try and have a quick chat with at an English Defence League march. The young kid looks absolutely puzzled when “Oaf” tells him he didn’t realise they sold foreign shirts in Buxton. Secondly, he starts attaching as many balloons as he can to a salt shaker, in an attempt to send it up into space. Good luck with that. Finally, my chip barm arrives, which I smother in ketchup (although there’s now no salt) before making a sharp exit.

I’ve missed a chunk of the second half due to waiting for these sodding chips (quite nice, though). I know there haven’t been any more goals. To be honest, apart from a couple of half chances, I don’t think anything’s happened at all. I’m not paying much notice to the game as I’m sat in the Main Stand where a chip barm is getting my undivided attention. A few kids start screaming in excitement at the front of the stand, and I quickly look up, expecting to have missed another County goal. But it’s events off the pitch that are having these children in stitches. I follow the direction of their eyes to my right, and I see what all the fuss is about. I see half a dozen pink and white balloons sailing into the sky, attached to what appears to be a salt shaker. Oaf’s mission is a success.

County have made six changes for the second half. Hurst, Duxbury, Lazenbury, Spencer, Dennis and Churchman are all on. The majority of County fans, I reckon, would have all six of those players in their starting line-up for the opening league game on 9 August, so there’s hope amongst the County fans that the second half might be a little bit better than the first. With County still giving the ball away far too easily, however, Buxton still create the odd opportunity. The closest the home side come to doubling their lead is with around twenty minutes to go when a long ball sails over the County defence to Alistair Taylor, who cuts inside onto his left foot and hits a superb strike which has Hurst well beaten, but cannons off the crossbar.

Even pre-season friendlies have turning points, and this is it. Within seconds of almost being two goals down, County are level. Franny Smith finds Scott Spencer in the area, who hits the crossbar himself, but the ball falls perfectly to Kristian Dennis who nods the ball home from a yard out. And Dennis almost has his and County’s second within a couple of minutes, but heads over the bar when, in truth, he should do better following a superb cross from Duxbury. It finishes 1-1. Four pre-season games unbeaten for County.

As we’re leaving, Scott points out the adverts for Evostik dotted around the ground. “I hope we never, ever turn up at Edgeley Park and see Evostik signs hung up. It’s been bad enough seeing Skrill and Blue Square.” Fair point. Our decline has been horrendous, but dropping into the Northern Premier League would be labelled an absolute disaster. I don’t think it’s something we’ll ever have to worry about. Although as this is Stockport County I will include a cheeky “but you never know” just for future reference. We’re looking okay, though. Four games unbeaten. Nine if you include the end of last season. And just two goals conceded in those nine matches. Of course, those statistics mean absolutely naff all, and this is clearly a County fan trying to find optimism in any place he can. Because we have to get out of this division sooner rather than later. A little bit of my soul dies when I’m desperate for us to be back with Forest Green and Gateshead, but we all know that’s the case. Scott and I agree we don’t care how it happens. We’d love Lord’s new signings to gel and march to the Conference North title. But we’d also take a boring mid-table season for the most part, before scraping a few victories, nicking fifth spot on the last day and winning the play-offs. There’s two rather large stepping stones between where we’re currently perched and where we’d like to be. We have to negotiate the first before we can even contemplate the second.

Speaking of negotiations and contemplations, County fans have to negotiate a different route home before they can contemplate getting into bed. As we’re all walking out of Silverlands, the tannoy man announces to us that the A6 is closed. A group chorus of “bloody hell” can be heard as far as Dove Holes. “We’re going rural Hinks,” Scott excitedly tells me. Rural, it certainly is. A convoy of headlights weaves its way through the hills before we suddenly find ourselves in Whaley Bridge. The journey home takes a little longer than it should. But that gives us plenty of time for a County chat from start to finish. The guy at Scott’s work who genuinely thought we had folded, as the Conference North gets about as much news coverage as a car boot sale in Adswood. The fact if we got a big FA Cup draw this season like Tottenham away we’d get stuffed 9-0. And the fact that even though psychologists would have told us to stop following County home and away a long time ago to maintain our sanity, we’re still perversely looking forward to going through it all again this season, even though watching County is now a watered down version of what it once was. We run through most of the away days on the cards this season. AFC Fylde = Blackpool trip. Stalybridge = that good pub at the station. Tamworth = a dodgy change in Stoke. It’s a conversation that’s taken place any times before. Our away day locations may change each season but the faces and the camaraderie always stays the same. This season, I’ll be doing every game. It’s not that difficult to be honest, although the Tuesday night away games could be a bit of a chore. Scott orders me to take Harriet to a nice hotel to coincide with Oxford City on a Tuesday night (“you cannot go to Oxford City on a Tuesday night on your own just to watch County”) and he also looks after my travel arrangements for away game number one (in the league, anyway) as he’s doing the midweek drive to Guiseley. That’s in August, when there’s points to play for, which can’t come soon enough for me. Because aside from observing big dogs, queues for chips, and County fans trying to send salt shakers into space, these friendlies are bloody hard work.

If you’re looking for a gift for the County fan in your life this Christmas, Kate’s got you covered!

Kate O’Brien – an artist based at Stockport Market – has some excellent County products to buy on her website, from coasters and cushions to magnets and mugs.

With Christmas just a few weeks away, you’ll already be thinking about what gifts to buy various relatives. For your parents or grandparents sitting down to watch a film or two on Christmas Day, why not give them some extra comfort with this Stockport County cushion.

Priced at £35, this beautiful velvet cushion features Kate’s original artwork, and has a concealed zip so that the cover can be removed and washed in the washing machine.

Kate’s stunning artwork features on lots of other great products as well. If you’ve got County fans to buy for, it’s definitely worth spending a few minutes perusing her website!

Visit kate-obrien.co.uk to make a purchase.

The Black Friday sale has already started at SW Appliances

I don’t want to be accused of slander by a man with significantly more money than me, but I reckon Jeff Bezos has never set foot inside Edgeley Park. On that basis alone, don’t buy your kitchen appliances on Amazon. Get them from SW Appliances instead, a business owned by County fan Steve Gibbons.

Whether you visit Steve’s showroom on Castle Street, or purchase online, SW Appliances have hundreds of products in stock. You won’t get a personal service from Bezos if you buy a kettle off him, but you will if you do business with Steve. He’s the appliance version of a train spotter and what he doesn’t know about appliances simply isn’t worth knowing. (That’s not an insult by the way, it’s on his website.)

And now’s the time to order that new appliance you need, as Steve’s offering some great discounts in his Black Friday sale.

1) Electrolux KGS6424W 60cm Gas Hob White – £119.99 £94.99

2) Zanussi ZWF91483WR 9KG 1400 RPM Freestanding Washing Machine – £349.99 £299.99

3) Beko CFG1552W Frost Free 55cm Fridge Freezer Frost Free – £329.99 £299.99

4) Zanussi ZBB28441SV 70/30 Integrated Fridge Freezer – £499.99 £399.99

5) Zanussi ZCI66050BA 60cm Electric Cooker with Double Oven Induction Black – £649.99 £549.99

The showroom is open from 9am till 5pm, Monday to Friday, and 10am till 4pm on a Saturday (closing at 2pm if the Hatters are at home).

Visit swappliances.co.uk for further details.

Photo of the day

A bench in Chester city centre

Your editor bumped into a rather famous celebrity in Chester the other night, casually tucking into a marmalade sandwich.

Today in SK

🎬 Cinema

Two films at The Savoy Cinema (SK4) today. Paddington In Peru (PG) at 3.30pm and 6pm, followed by Gladiator II (15) at 8.15pm. Click here for tickets.

💿 DJ

The Nelson Tavern (SK1) have their resident DJ playing on a Friday night, with Dicko (Ian Dickinson) on from 8pm till 1am.

DJ Brinner at The Crown Inn (SK6). 8pm.

🍔 Food and drink

Happy Hour at Covent Garden Café (SK1) between 1.30pm and 2.30pm. If you spend £20 or more you get to roll the dice, and if you roll a 6 your bill is half price!

Pop in for a pint at Heaton Hops (SK4), CAMRA Pub of the Year for Stockport and South Manchester.

Bitter £2.30 a pint all day at The Cross Keys (SK8).

If you’re simply in the mood for a couple of pints today, pop along to one of our featured venues such as AMP (SK1), The Crown (SK2), The Dog & Partridge (SK2) or The Three Tunnes (SK7).

🙂 Friendly Friday

Friendly Friday at The Steelworks (SK6) from 12pm till 4pm. Free tea, coffee and biscuits. Pop in for a chat.

🎤 Karaoke

The Alexandra (SK3).

Random photos of County players at other clubs

#52 – Will Collar, Hamilton

Will Collar was Simon Rusk’s first signing in February 2021, joining on a free transfer from Scottish outfit Hamilton Academical. Now in his fifth season at Edgeley Park, Collar’s already won two league titles with County.