Colchester v County

Warning: This match preview could be completely pointless about 60 seconds from now

The Scarf My Father Wore

Mar 02, 2024

Saturday 2 March 2024

NEXT HOME GAME: Newport – Saturday 9 March, 3pm

NEXT AWAY GAME (MAYBE): Colchester – Today, 3pm

If you’d like to write an article for The Scarf My Father Wore, share a few snippets or photos, or advertise your business, please email thescarfmyfatherwore@substack.com.

Dear County fans, Stopfordians, Colchester supporters, and anyone else from The Football Family joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Saturday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.

Here’s Andrew Barlow, Ed Chadwick, Ian Brown and Jonathan Baker with this week’s preview. (Even though it’s 9.05am as I’m about to send this out, which means the referee is literally on Colchester’s pitch right now, possibly about to call it off.)

Finally, I’m currently walking every street in Stockport to raise money for mental health charity Mentell. If you’d like to make a donation to help me reach my target, please click here.

Total distance so far: 113.33 miles

Total steps so far: 184,956

Total raised so far: £1,631

Total completed streets so far: 202 (Click here for the full list, which includes reports and photos from every day of the walk.)

Further information on the walk can be found by clicking here.

Des Junior

Des Junior loves writing about County. But he can never be arsed doing match previews. They’re a bit dull, aren’t they? Paddy Madden’s out for two games with an ingrown toenail…blah blah blah…tomorrow’s referee has handed out more cards than Moonpig…blah blah blah…County haven’t won at Birmingham since 1672.

Fortunately, he has a number of fellow County content creators to call upon. Here’s their thoughts, general chit-chat and score predictions, ahead of a game that could be postponed before you’ve even made your morning brew.

Andrew Barlow, Hatters Matters

Colchester 0 County 1

County fans have been singing “We’re top of the league” constantly since the middle of October. But last Saturday we slipped to second. When (if at all) will we next be singing that song again?

I’m desperate to be proved wrong on this but I don’t believe we’ll be singing this again this season… after a completed round of fixtures at least. I’ve said all along that if we manage to finish above Mansfield in the table this season then we will have secured the League Two title. Now Nigel Clough’s side are in pole position, unfortunately I can’t see them letting their lead slip based on their form and results over the season, and also looking at the remaining schedule of fixtures for all clubs involved in the promotion shake-up.

Whilst I expect both sides to take maximum points from their fixtures this afternoon, we have to bear in mind that the Stags are in action on the next couple of Tuesday nights, so they could have extended their lead to six points by the time we travel to Salford.

Apart from the game against Tranmere we have normally done quite well against teams positioned towards the bottom of the table and have recorded some very convincing wins. So I think we’ll return to winning ways at the JobServe Community Stadium but we clearly have to do better in front of goal than we have in recent weeks. I’m going for a 1-0 win for County but hope that it’s more comfortable than that.

Ed Chadwick, Stockport County Supporters Co-operative

Colchester 0 County 1

The only way is Essex for County today. Have you ever had a spray tan? And if you haven’t, what’s the best tan / worst sunburn you’ve had on holiday?

I've got to be very careful that I don't fall into the trap you've set for me of demeaning the Essex natives. That’s because I’m staying in Buckhurst Hill after today's game and I don't want to get booted out by someone wearing a white stiletto.

Actually it's fairly safe to assume that my friend's wife has got better things to do today than read, no offence, middle-aged men wittering on about football. Such as parenting two toddlers while I drag her husband to the football before we stagger in at 11pm and wake the entire house up.

Returning to your question: it will be hard for some people to believe but my boyish looks and healthy glow are completely natural. That said, I might soon need Botox injections in my forehead if our poor run of results continues to deepen the frown lines on my brow.

My parents simply let us all burn when we took our caravan to France in the summers of my childhood. As a result, I don't feel as though I've had a proper holiday if I haven't let myself get a bit scorched on my shoulders. I allowed myself to get badly burned in the Philippines a few years ago, not realising that the Asian sun might be a bit stronger than Britanny. Huge sheaves of skin were falling off me for weeks afterwards.

I saw enough in the second half against Swindon to be reassured that we're about to end our winless run. I appreciate this is very much a business of putting the ball in the net but we created enough chances to have won the game comfortably and I'm confident the goals will come.

Colchester will be well set up with the Cowley brothers in charge and I really rated their young winger Jayden Fevrier when they came to Edgeley Park earlier this season.

A full week without a game will have done us the world of good and I think this will be a turning point for us. 1-0 to County.

Ian Brown, hedgegrower

Colchester 0 County 2

What would be your tactical plans for County to at least score a goal today?

It’s probably a given that to win away is more difficult than to do the same at home, and the fact that we’re currently struggling at Edgeley Park to put any kind of a win together makes today’s game look a particularly difficult one.

But a quick look at the League Two table confirms Colchester in 21st position, having not won for yonks!

They don’t always lose – four of their five February games ending in draws – so we can expect the Essex equivalent of the 192 to be parked in front of whatever end of the JobServe Community Stadium Danny Cowley’s team are defending come 3pm!

We may have to work for our win then, with four at the back (Cass, Horsfall, Pye, Bristow) and instructions given to Cass and Bristow to get forward and put pressure on the home side.

County are short of tough tackling midfielders just now so the emphasis, quite properly, will be on attacking our opponents, asking them the maximum number of unanswerable questions. So, the midfield for me is Evans, Powell and Hippolyte, with Sarcevic in behind a front two of Tanto and Madden. Keep it simple, make sure the back door’s locked, and defend in Colchester’s half of the field.

I’m going for 2-0, and expect a goal from Powell today – he deserves one!

Jonathan Baker aka Geordie Hatter, The County Away Day Show

Colchester 1 County 1

I think you’ll enjoy this one today! Colchester was England’s first capital city. What’s your top 10 playlist containing any song with a capital city in the title?

1) “LDN” by Lily Allen

“The sun is in the sky, oh why oh why would I want to be anywhere else?” chirrups our favourite cheeky Cockney noughties party-girl songstress, before answering her own question via a pavement-view account of the very human grime, grimness and graft semi-concealed behind the tourist-friendly everyday facade of our capital city. Unflinching social commentary, delivered with a disarming lightness of touch, and a knockout flutter of those eyelashes for good measure. Marvellous.

2) “I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris” by Morrissey

Stretford’s finest bequiffed Oscar Wilde devotee here, captured during that cigarette-paper-thin sliver of stellar solo form between the apex of his global Smiths-frontman fame and whenever the moment was that he became quite irredeemably mad and began barking jingoistic nonsense at us from the luxury-bathed vantage point of cross-Atlantic self-exile. Like a late-era George Best, Morrissey remained unplayable on his day even as the sad decline from grace became steadily more difficult to ignore. This three minute slice of simply-rendered lovelorn loveliness is presented here as Evidence For His Reputational Defence.

3) “Bruxelles je t’aime” by Angèle

Pan-continental contemporary bill-topper Angèle here, placing on record via her preferred medium of radio-friendly swing-jazz an undying passion for her native city. To be perfectly honest the pace and trickiness of the matchless chanteuse's Belgian-accented French delivery does leave me somewhat dazed and uncomprehending in its magisterial wake, like a hapless League Two left-back subjected to an afternoon in the company of Louie Barry. Notwithstanding any such lostness-in-translation, this rousing Euro-number remains one to uplift the spirits surely even of the most ardent Brexiteer. Bravo, Madameoiselle!

4) “Streets of Edinburgh” by The Proclaimers

Not content with having succeeded in reducing the hardy Hibernian fanbase to floods of grateful tears on a fortnightly basis by way of the timeless classic “Sunshine on Leith” long adopted as their terrace anthem, the prolific Reid brothers turn their attention from a serenading of that single Edinburgh suburb to the hypnotically harmonious hymning of the entire city, and send the rest of us helpless with lachrymose emotion in the process. Someone needs to have a word.

5) “The Night of Santiago” by Leonard Cohen

“She said she was a maiden – that's not what I'd heard. For the sake of conversation, I took her at her word.” So begins this sultry South America-set story of seduction, lent an extra layer of lustful lasciviousness by the unhurried intensity of the narrator's trademark gravel-inflected tones, which here as ever plunge physics-defying depths sufficient to make a post-match interview with Sean Dyche sound in comparison like a lost episode of The Clangers played at double speed. The number may be further distinguished from a spoken Match of the Day segment by the lack of reference to contentious offside calls, in favour of the minute recollection of a decades-distant loosening of a Latina lover's brassiere-strap. What Danny Murphy would make of it is anyone's guess.

6) “Vatican Broadside” by Half Man Half Biscuit

Tranmere Rovers’ most famous fans here, turning their sardonic and laceratingly laser-eyed wit to a spellbindingly surgical dismantling of the unattractive human tendency towards charmless and self-deceiving egotism, as evidenced by the imagined and ultimately vain attempts of the singer out of Slipknot to secure an impromptu audience with The Pope. Look, I know it makes no sense written down, but take a listen, I promise you won't regret it. And if you do, it's only 31 seconds long, so you can get straight back to what you were doing.

7) “Victoria” by The Fall

I’m possibly slightly cheating here, being approximately 94% certain that our sadly-departed Saloon Bar Philosopher Prince of Salford did not have the administrative capital of the Seychelles in mind when appending a name to this instant pop classic. I'm proceeding with shoehorning it in however, if only because across this 2 minutes 45 seconds of bop-a-long pitch-perfection, Mark E Smith posts proof positive that if only he could have stayed away from the licenced counter for the odd extra 15 minutes (and maybe avoided making more gratuitous changes to his line-up than a relegation-threatened Premier League manager faced with a third round FA Cup draw at Grimsby Town) he might now be universally spoken of as one of the unquestioned all-time greats of our craft. The cantankerous old bugger knew a thing or two about the game, that's for bloody sure.

8) “Kingston Town” by UB40

If this Brummie-born-and-bred Cast of Thousands ever surpassed these three minutes of reggae-infused pop during their long and storied career, I've not come across the number where they achieved it. Like a well-rehearsed near-post corner kick, it's simple yet effective, while not without a certain unhurried elegance. You know exactly what they're trying to do, but can you stop them? Can you hell.

9) “Moscow Drug Club” by The Jazz Butcher

If it's a cruelly under-recognised and prolific songwriting genius specialising in left-field flights of lyrical/melodic fancy underscored by a consistent vein of razor-sharp pop sensibility that you've come here for this morning, then you're in the right place. Your man here Pat Fish, known to his small but devoted fanbase as The Jazz Butcher, decamped from our capital city to Northampton sometime in the 80s, and from that unlikely provincial backwater proceeded to issue forth a steady stream of cutely esoteric inventiveness which continued until his tragically early death just a couple of years ago. In a late interview the ever-garrulous Fish wondered aloud why more of the great pop songs weren't set in bars, since evidently that's where the great pop singers habitually hung out. Listening to this number (set, magnificently, in a backstreet Moscow Jazz joint of ill-repute which may or may not have existed solely within his imagination), I'm tempted to conclude that he had more than a point.

10) “Radio Prague” by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

Not so much a song, as a 90 second sample of the opening credits from an Iron-Curtain-Era Czechoslovakian State Radio broadcast, apparently recorded by one of the members of Orchestral Manouevres in the Dark in their upstairs bedroom using a battery-operated mono tape recorder. I'm sure there was something else they should have been doing at that moment (such as their maths homework, or thinking of a more catchy name for their newly-formed experimental electro-pop combo than “Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark”) but I'm very glad they were attentive to the creative possibilities of the moment, also that they'd only that lunchtime bought a fresh pack of AA batteries at the newsagents. Our shared cultural history is richer as a result. It is, honestly.

Click here to listen to those 10 bangers!

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5 questions with Sophie Grace

What was the most interesting moment with your business in February?

I worked on Valentine’s Day… single woman problems! Someone take me out on a date?

What’s your plans for the business this month?

I’d like more adult students, as you can never be too old to play piano! I want to develop their musical skills so they can maybe do some concerts/gigs themselves.

What would you like to promote to our readers in March?

I’m hoping to open a Thursday slot after Easter so I’ll keep you all posted.

As it’s Easter at the end of this month, what’s your favourite chocolate?

Everything! I’m a chocolate lover. I must say my favourite is Terry’s Chocolate Orange. I love buying them over Christmas!

Have you booked your summer holiday yet?

Of course! I’m off to Mallorca in July with my family and little niece. Can’t wait for the sunshine, I love summer so much. ☀️

If you’re looking to book piano lessons for your child, or you’d like to start learning to play yourself, give Sophie a call on 07793 102220 or email sophie.ahmed12@hotmail.com.

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Get some valuable advice from The Sleep Nanny this month

Lisa Foster is a child sleep specialist, who works on a one-to-one basis with families to create a personalised plan to solve any sleep issues they may be facing. She’s extremely passionate about making sure parents and children get the sleep they need, which is why she also offers free and low cost events.

On Wednesday 13 March, Lisa will be at the Trafford Centre from 6pm till 8pm to provide free advice. Sometimes a nudge in the right direction is all that’s needed.

If you’re unable to make that date in March, Lisa’s running two sleep workshops in April at the Waterside Hotel and Leisure Club in Didsbury. Simply click on your preferred date to book.

Thursday 18 April / Sunday 21 April

Topics will include stressful bedtimes, waking in the night, early rising and other sleep issues. Each session will last between 60-90 minutes and consist of a presentation, Q&A and starter tips to take away. Aimed at parents and carers of children aged from 0 to 7.

Take a look at Lisa’s website for further details on how she can help you and your family.

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U2 (and 3)

Yesterday, we spoke to Colchester fan David Clayton. Today, we’ve got another two U’s joining us: Phil Wood and Matt Cortes.

How are the Cowley brothers getting on?

Phil: They’re doing what they set out to do this season, and that’s survival. With a pre-season behind them, hopefully next season we can push on for the play-offs.

Matt: The brothers are doing well. They make the team more professional but to be honest the squad is massively lacking up front.

What’s the fan culture like at Colchester?

Phil: It was at an all time low after the past three years but after getting the Cowley brothers in the fans are starting to back the team and trying to sort out a much better atmosphere and experience. Our new place hasn’t felt like home since we left Layer Road, which was our fortress because the facilities were so bad teams hated coming and playing there.

Matt: Fans are great. Decent atmosphere. Lots of locals have a second team in the Premier League, but the fan experience is good enough to watch Col U.

How do you think Southend fans will react if you are relegated this season?

Phil: Southend fans would love it if we got relegated, but they’re not having the best time either at the moment looking at the National League table.

Matt: Southend would love a derby game.

Best and worst memories as a Colchester fan?

Phil: Best memory is winning the FA Trophy at Wembley against Witton Albion in 1992. I was six years old, went on the train with my dad and it was a brilliant day. During the 32 years since then, there’s been quite a few contenders for worst memory. I’m not sure which one stands out the most.

Matt: I always love seeing us develop players who go on to have decent careers. Worst has to be the last few seasons with the constant revolving door of inexperienced managers leading to being relegation candidates every season.

What’s your thoughts on Stockport County – A) the club B) the manager C) the fans?

Phil: I think County are one of the best teams in the division. You seem to have a good manager who’s put a team together rather than individuals on big wage budgets. [Des: Nobody show Nick Powell’s wage slip to Phil!] From what I read on the League Two Facebook pages, County fans seem to be humble and a good bunch.

Matt: A proper old school Football League club having a great season. Will go up. Dave Challinor was a really good defender and it’s good to see him doing well. Fans seem decent too.

What’s your keeper like at the moment? Swindon’s had a stormer to stop us scoring last weekend. Any chance yours might drop a clanger this weekend to help us get our title push back on track?

Phil: He’s a young keeper on loan from Palace. He is capable of making a few clangers, like Forest Green at home, but has saved two penalties in the last five games.

Matt: Goodman’s an excellent keeper but as with all young ones he’s prone to the odd mistake.

What’s your prediction for Saturday’s game?

Phil: I'd love to say a Colchester win but realistically I can’t see that happening. I’ll say a draw, as we seem to love those at the moment.

Matt: A 2-0 defeat if I’m honest. However, we do love a draw under Danny Cowley so maybe a fortunate 1-1. We have lots of injuries at the moment and our only goal threat got recalled in January.

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Photo of the day

Scott Oldham. As I write this, hundreds of County fans are waiting on this man’s decision (at 9am) to find out whether or not they’ll be travelling to Essex today.

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