I watched County’s first ever home game against Harrogate from the press box
A trip down memory lane as we go back to the final day of the 2013-14 campaign
Wednesday 31 January 2024
NEXT HOME GAME: Harrogate – Saturday 3 February, 3pm
NEXT AWAY GAME: Grimsby – Saturday 10 February, 3pm
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Dear County fans, Stopfordians, Harrogate supporters, and anyone else from The Football Family joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Wednesday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.
Harrogate Town are the visitors to Edgeley Park on Saturday. They’ve only been to SK3 on six previous occasions, the first of which was on Saturday 26 April 2014 – the final day of our first season in the sixth tier. I wrote a big feature on the game from the press box that day, which I thought I’d share with you today as part of our build-up to this weekend’s clash with the Sulphurites.
Today’s edition is sponsored by Malbern Solar. My thanks to Wayne and Vicki. If you’d like to save money on your energy bills, make sure you book your FREE survey, worth £150. Full details below.
Finally, I’m currently walking every street in Stockport to raise money for mental health charity Mentell. If you’d like to make a donation to help me reach my target, please click here.
Total distance so far: 46.68 miles
Total steps so far: 83,302
Total raised so far: £1,037
Total completed streets so far: 24 (Click here for the full list, which includes reports and photos from every day of the walk.)
Further information on the walk can be found by clicking here.
Des Junior
The following article was written at the end of the 2013-14 season.
The press box was a second home to me as a child. Well, most Saturday afternoons and some Tuesday nights anyway. Having a father who covered football for every publication imaginable, my vantage point for numerous matches was quite different to others. Before my age started ending in ‘teen’, matchdays in my younger years were spent alongside some of the country’s leading regional journalists and hospital radio commentators.
I suppose I’m quite lucky to be honest. I remember sitting in the press room before Middlesbrough away in 1997, barely able to sit still as I soaked up all the hype and excitement that stemmed from the hustle and bustle in the build-up to arguably, on paper at least, the biggest game in Stockport County’s history. The Riverside is just one of many of English football’s biggest stadiums I got to explore behind the scenes as my taken-by-my-dad-as-a-kid years coincided with County’s rise through the divisions and five-year stay in the second tier.
Other press box/room memories are slightly varied. I remember Notts County in 1995, drinking what can only be described as a shitload of coffee for a reason I can’t fathom whatsoever, as I haven’t touched a drop at any other point in my life.
I remember Sheffield United in our early First Division days. I sat behind the goal with the County fans at Bramall Lane before making my way to the press box afterwards to meet my dad. Unfortunately, the press box was right next to one of the areas reserved for South Yorkshire Police and I was collared by an officer who’d seen me on CCTV earlier in the evening and wasn’t too impressed at my attempt to throw a pie at a Blades fan in the upper tier from my seat on the front row of the lower tier. Dad was still finishing his work, thankfully.
Then there’s Molineux, where me and one of my best friends were sat quietly in the press room after the game but were kicked out by Wolves manager Mark McGhee who asked “who are those two?” in front of everyone before ordering we leave prior to his post-match interview. Tosser.
McGhee, nor anybody else for that matter, can say anything to me today as I have a press pass all of my own. I’m back with the hacks. That’s why I arrive at Edgeley Park ninety minutes before County’s final ninety minutes of the season. Or half past one, to be more succinct. The ground is absolutely deserted, save for a few stewards dotted around. My arrival takes numbers in the press box to four, along with Pure FM’s Pete Liggins and Jon Keighren, and Gavin Browne from the Stockport Express. So two people who work for a respected radio station, one who works for a respected newspaper and one who puts together a crap WordPress blog and doesn’t really need to be here. Indeed, while the commentators put together last minute preparations for their live show, and the journalist starts work on his laptop, the blogger has absolutely nothing to do and realises he’s quite bored, with well over an hour to go until kick-off. He decides to retire to the press room instead, in the bowels of the Main Stand.
I’m in there a matter of minutes before an enthusiastic Louise Mellor pops in, on her tour of the ground with today’s mascots. I say enthusiastic, because she admirably tries to get the kids excited when, in truth, this is quite a hard sell. I can see why the eyes of young football fans would light up on the pitch, or in the home dressing room, but the press room is not the most luxurious of surroundings. There’s a few seats, a small fridge, an empty Hollands Pies machine and a shitty piece of plastic printed with the logos of sponsors for post-match interviews. Although that’s genuinely a highlight for the kids as they get to stand in front of the board – with the help of a chair as it’s too high – doing their impersonations of Alan Lord whilst parents snap away on their cameras. One of the fathers asks me which media organisation I work for. Hmm. I’ve only written reports on two matches recently. One saw me stuff my face with a three-course meal before the Altrincham game and the other centred around making my girlfriend drive me to Colwyn Bay to stand on a lump of concrete for a couple of hours. “I run my own County website,“ I answer, sheepishly.
Back in the fresh air, I’m really looking forward to today’s game, with the whole Phil Jevons factor thrown in. The only problem is that the time is ten past two. As the only person here in possession of a press pass who doesn’t have any real work to do, I’m here far too early. I count the fans in the ground and wonder to myself why on earth they’re here so early. There’s three supporters in the Railway End, four in the Pop Side and 36 in the Cheadle End. (9 upper tier, 27 lower tier in case you want to write that down.) I catch a glimpse of my former self as a gaggle of kids stand at the front of the Cheadle End, dressed in scarves and shirts, finding genuine pleasure in watching Ian Ormson warm up. Football’s great at that age, isn’t it? It’s not just the kids, though. I find myself also getting as giddy as a teenager on his first date as my eyes drift over to the Pop Side to see dozens of blue seats disappearing under the giant ‘There is a light that never goes out’ flag, which looks a lot more laid back today following the exertion of Monday afternoon when it was found covering up shop fronts in Colwyn Bay.
A few minutes before kick-off I’m back in the press box and me and my A4 Wide Ruled Refill Pad from WHSmith (and a pen) are ready for action. The teams take to the field for the final time this season but the loudest cheers aren’t for any of the 22 players on show. That honour goes to Dave Moore, one of County’s mascots today at the tender age of 68 (and two months, according to the programme). Apparently it’s something Dave has always wanted to do, and the smile stretching from ear to ear confirms that as he waves to a large cluster of his friends and family who are sat just to my right, all stood on their feet clapping and cheering with equal measures of pride and amusement. A chant of “sign him up, sign him up, sign him up” can be heard from a small pocket of supporters in the Main Stand. Alan Lord could give him a trial I reckon. Dave actually looks a lot healthier and in better shape than some of my mates and I.
The mascots leave the pitch (the 8-year-old, the 10-year-old and the 68-year-old) and we’re ready for kick-off. I’m sat directly above the Pure FM duo and have a nosey at the sheets of paper in front of them with a plethora of notes, details and statistics. I have a blank sheet of paper in front of me, apart from the words ’County’ and ’Harrogate’ scribbled at the top. Although, not for the first time in my life, my right wrist is going to get a vigorous workout early on as County start the game like a Sunday League side cobbled together after a night on the piss. Straight away, Ian Ormson and a County defender (two minutes in I fail my journalist exam immediately by failing to jot down which defender it was) get in a complete muddle which presents the ball to Ashley Worsfold, who fires wide of the Cheadle End goal when he should open the scoring. Harrogate’s Dan Clayton then finds himself in acres of space with a fantastic opportunity to score but completely fluffs his lines, taking a swipe at the ball but missing completely. Scott Duxbury attempts a simple pass to a team-mate but only succeeds in kicking the ball out for a throw-in. And more comical defending sees Stephen O’Halloran play a dodgy ball back to Ormson, who controls it a bit dodgy, and is very fortunate as he manages to nutmeg the advancing Worsfold. It’s all very dodgy. I feel I’m being a bit critical of the home side but Jon Keighren backs me up as Pure FM’s listeners are told “County are completely at sixes and sevens, they have not got going here at all”, while a lone County fan a few rows in front of me simply screams “wake up County!”. I’ve been scribbling frantically for the first few minutes and, if truth be told, I really can’t be arsed doing this for an hour and a half.
The game itself is not the only thing today’s reporters are focusing one. The main story is Phil Jevons, playing the final match of his career this afternoon. “One of the biggest influences I’ve ever seen in a club both in terms of what he has done on the pitch and also what he has done in the dressing room,” as Alan Lord describes him in his programme notes. I’m not too interested in putting pen to paper every time someone has a shot on target, or forces a corner, but I am hoping Jevons gives me something to talk about. And he’s the subject of the next two entries in my notepad with a couple of opportunities to grab the headlines, both from crosses from the near touchline. The first is collected by Harrogate keeper Craig MacGillivray, with the second probably ending up in the back of the net had Jevons stole a couple of yards to get his head to the ball. However, it remains 0-0. I still find time to make the odd note as I observe my surroundings, like when Dwayne Samuels steals a yard or ten on a throw-in and the elderly contingent of the Main Stand let off a proper old-fashioned football groan, like someone’s nicked the last custard cream at the village hall.
I’m desperate to see a Jevons goal today (like the whole of Edgeley Park it seems) to bring my match report to life. (Or any of County’s other ten players for that matter, as we haven’t scored a single goal in six weeks now.) But there’s plenty else going on, as the game springs into life. County hit the post. Iain Howard stings MacGillivray’s palms, before making the keeper work again a minute later, who just manages to hold onto the ball with Nicky Platt looming. Jevons plays a lovely through ball to Kristian Dennis who tries to take a touch when he should shoot first time. At the other end, Liam Hardy gets the better of O’Halloran and fires a shot across goal which Ormson does well to push round the post for a corner. And Duxbury absolutely skins the Harrogate full-back on the wing but ruins it by delivering a rubbish cross which is easily dealt with. It sums up County quite well actually. Plenty of endeavour, the odd moment of quality, but no end product. That’s why the men (and one young girl) sat around me haven’t reported on a County goal at any of the last seven matches.
On 36 minutes, there is a goal. Unfortunately, it’s not Jevons. Nor anyone else in a blue shirt. Step forward Dominic Rowe, taking the title of Party Pooper of the Day. Actually, I feel a bit mean calling Dominic a party pooper. It’s kind of like Brian Kennedy gatecrashing a party but then realising he’s paid for all the beer. I say this because despite County falling behind, there’s applause from all four sides of Edgeley Park as the Yorkshire side open the scoring. Rowe bombs down the right-hand side, cuts inside, and with the ball still bouncing around, he smashes a left-foot volley from outside the area which absolutely flies past Ormson into the top corner, giving the keeper no chance whatsoever. Journalists often overuse the phrase about goalkeepers having no chance. But trust me, Ormson did not have a prayer with this rasper. About as much chance of keeping this volley out as having unprotected sex in a back room in Bangkok and not coming home with an unwanted souvenir. It’s genuinely one of the best strikes I’ve ever seen at Edgeley Park.
Within a couple of minutes, Jevons hits a beautiful right-foot curler from the edge of the area which MacGillivray just manages to keep out of the top corner, before O’Halloran sees a header cleared off the line from a corner. It looks like the wait for a County goal is continuing. But hold on. The fourth official indicates there will be a minimum of five minutes to be added, after a nasty clash of heads earlier on. Moments later, a corner is cleared but only as far as Jevons, who sends the ball back towards the Harrogate goal with his left foot. With a number of bodies in the way, the ball doesn’t look like it will find the net. But to everyone’s relief (Jon Keighren actually punches the air), it goes in, and the headlines are written as Jevons ensures his playing career ends with a goal, not forgetting this is also his 20th goal of a very impressive season. He runs over to the Pop Side with his arms aloft, just as many County strikers have done before him over the years. The Liverpudlian may not be remembered in the same vein as the likes of Big Kev, Preecey, Brett or Alun Armstrong in years to come, but he’s certainly been a hugely popular player at Edgeley Park and a shining light in County’s worst ever season. The warmth shown towards Phil from all quarters of the crowd is genuine and heartfelt, and it’s quite a touching moment as the goal clearly means a lot to him.
I’m still trying to capture everything in my notes when straight away, something-something-you-wait-for-weeks-on-end-for-a-County-goal-and-two-come-along-at-once. As I’m tweeting about County‘s first goal of the afternoon, I miss the build-up to the second, but a loud roar forces me to look up, and just as I do, a hesitant MacGillivray is robbed by Duxbury who slots the ball into an empty net. We’re 2-1 up. An even louder roar goes up and I couldn’t care less if this is a meaningless end of season game in Division Six, but Edgeley Park feels like it used to. Everyone goes into the interval happy as County fans head for their pie and pint, Jevons heads for his water/sports drink/champagne and I head back into the press room where I polish off a large handful of chocolate chip cookies and those nice ‘nice’ biscuits. I’m starving. The empty Hollands Pie machine was actually filled up before the game but as a vegetarian, I didn’t fancy playing Russian Roulette with the dozen or so unlabelled pies and biting into something I really didn’t want to. I’m not in the press room for the duration of the break. I’m outside when Mike Flynn, Angela White, Steve Cree and Bob Smith-Bewley take to the pitch to be presented to the crowd in their new roles as Life Presidents, along with the Major, with sporting chains Mr T would be jealous of. The photographers take a few snaps and the moment is over in the blink of an eye, but this could be a significant event as the club moves forward, as these four people all have County connections as long as this article is turning out. Congratulations and best wishes to all involved.
The second half is fairly mellow to start with, compared to the end of the opening forty-five. My notepad even makes space for the attendance being announced. Chris Davies climbs the steps in the Main Stand to the press box where he firmly announces today’s crowd is “three one two six, three one two six” with “46 away” as well. (The attendance is later stated with an increase of about 500 so your guess is as good as whoever counted the gate in the first place I suppose.) I like the tradition of the attendance being announced to the press this way. In an age of instant communication, I like the fact a bloke is dispatched to the reporters with a scrap of paper in order to read a number out. Sod all this new technology bollocks. On a Saturday, I would actually prefer to get the football results at 6pm out of the Football Pink rather than view them on my mobile phone an hour earlier. That’s just me I guess; 29 going on 69 when it comes to traditional football stuff. Even if I contradict myself entirely by writing a blog.
As if sensing I’m going off track with the article talking about technology and tradition, Kyle Jacobs and Craig Nelthorpe go crashing into each other. It’s a red for Jacobs. The Main Stand are demanding Nelthorpe also heads for an early bath after reacting by shoving Jacobs to the ground. But after limping around theatrically and pleading his innocence to the referee, he escapes with a yellow. It’s then back to the Phil Jevons show as he hits a 30-yard free-kick which McGillivray (I’m seriously getting sick of checking I’ve got his name right every time) tips round the post, before Jevons delivers some nice touches and a bit of showboating as the clock ticks down. Fair enough. If this was the last game of my career I’d be standing on top of the ball and doing that thing where you put your hand to your forehead, looking out to sea like a sailor. Jevons looks to be finishing his career with a victory, certainly when Liam Hardy beats the offside trap, takes the ball round Ormson but decides to blast the ball out of the ground instead of tapping it into an empty net. And another ball sails over the Railway End when pantomime villain Nelthorpe gets a long-range effort completely wrong. This time the Main Stand make my day with a rendition of “eeyore, eeyore, eeyore” which I don’t think I’ve heard since I was seven.
In the closing minutes, Jevons is announced as today’s man of the match, which is about as surprising as someone dying or giving birth in one of the Christmas Day soaps. With Matthew Todd (yes, Lee’s son) warming up on the touchline, it’s nearly time for Jevons to be substituted to receive his standing ovation on this special day. But that ovation has to wait, because Jevons suddenly finds himself on for a hat-trick. The Harrogate keeper (I’m not checking the spelling again) does well to parry an effort from Howard, but only as far as the star of the show who composes himself before sending a deflected shot rolling towards the Cheadle End goal. Is it over the line? It’s hard to tell from the press box, but it’s not difficult to see the linesman waving his flag in the air. Jevons has a second, County have a third and the long-suffering supporters on three sides of this ground have a win to celebrate for the first time in over two months. Jevons runs over to Alan Lord for a hug, and the reporters sat around me have an easy job in finishing off their articles today. It’s almost been written for them. “One Phil Jevons” rings out from the Cheadle End. It’s Kristian Dennis who makes way instead for young Matthew’s debut in the final stages of the game, as a large group of his mates just in front of me scream out “come on Toddy”, just as I probably did to his father back in the 90s.
And there we have it. The final whistle blows and Phil Jevons’ career as a footballer comes to an end. So too does Stockport County’s season at our lowest ever level in thirteen decades. The players embark on a lap of honour (sic) and one young scamp in the Cheadle End deliberately ignores Kenny Boxshall’s request to “stay off the pitch”. He’s allowed to jump back into the stand. Another shows off to his mates by zigzagging across the penalty area. It’s harmless enough. A couple of youngsters also run on, but as they’re Phil Jevons’ children, we’ll let them off. Apart from requests to keep off the pitch, Kenny also reminds fans that season tickets are on sale until 6pm today. Hmm. Getting people to make an impulse purchase of over £200 is an optimistic one after a fourteen game winless run, before today.
But we all know those season tickets will get sold. And despite finding ourselves in non-league football for a fourth season when August comes round, many more tickets will be sold at every game, whether the opponents are Chorley (winners of the league below County today and the big news in the press room afterwards) or Chester (relegated later on in the evening and big news amongst anyone who supports County and enjoys a beer). Phil Jevons won’t be here next season (unfortunately). Neither will half the players on display today (probably). But certain people will be. The one constant in Stockport County’s 131-year history. The fans. This club has been in administration. This club has been relegated five times in recent years. This club has never been too big for its boots, but anyone would admit it doesn’t belong six divisions down the English football pyramid. Despite all this, however, it remains a special place. Well over 50,000 people have walked through the Edgeley Park turnstiles this season in the Conference North, more than a number of Football League clubs. It’s a ludicrous figure, whether you’re a County fan or not. But these people will never stay away. Heavy defeats against the likes of Boston and Oxford City won’t change that. FA Cup exits to the likes of Rushall Olympic won’t change that. Nor will an endless conveyor belt of managers, players, directors and shareholders. We’ll all keep coming back, because for whatever reason, when Stockport County takes hold of you, it never lets you go.
As Alan Lord says in the press room after everyone else has gone home: “Who wouldn’t want to manage this club?”
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Photo of the day
Crewe train station
On this day in 2023, County drew 1-1 at Crewe. Here’s a load of Hatters waiting for the train back to Stockport.
Today in SK
🍺 Food and drink
The Nelson Tavern (SK1) have a great range of offers throughout the week, including £4.50 for drinks off the Doubles Bar, a comprehensive range of shots for £2, and 3 for £6 on Jägerbombs. Open till 11pm.
Ignore the “beer police” and support your local pub in January. If you’re in Stockport today, pop into The Petersgate Tap (SK1) for a pint or two. Open till 10pm.
For those on a gluten-free diet, finding a nice portion of fish and chips to tuck into can be quite difficult. But on a Wednesday at Fishers of Cheshire (SK2), gluten-free meals are available. Open till 9.30pm.
Any pizza and two drinks for £14.95 at Platform 5 (SK8). Served till 8pm.
🎲 Games night
Enigma (SK1). 8pm. (And there’s a 10% discount on all drinks!)
The Scarf My Father Wore works closely with venues on a daily basis to bring you the most comprehensive guide to all of the best offers and events taking place across the whole SK region. Click on the links below for full details of everything taking place in your area over the next few weeks.
SK1 / SK2 / SK3 / SK4 / SK5 / SK6 / SK7 / SK8 / SK9 / SK10 / SK11 / SK12 / SK13 / SK14 / SK15 / SK16 / SK17 / SK22 / SK23
Random County fan of the day #31 – Damo!
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