Sunday 17 December 2023
NEXT HOME GAME: Notts County – Friday 22 December, 7.45pm
NEXT AWAY GAME: Barrow – Tuesday 26 December, 3pm
A County sandwich in three parts. Your top slice of bread is watching your team in the worst weather conditions you’ve ever experienced, with torrential rain being blown into your face by the howling wind for 90 minutes.
Your filling is a home defeat to a non-league team in the FA Cup, shown live to the nation on the BBC.
The bottom slice of bread is your team’s biggest victory for nearly 90 years, and the first time they’ve scored eight goals in your lifetime.
At this stage, I’ve completely given up trying to predict what Stockport County are going to do. It’s utterly pointless. We’re a complete basket case of a football club that could go 3-0 up against Manchester Citeh after half an hour one minute, and lose 7-0 at Grimsby on a Tuesday night the next. Promotion today, administration tomorrow. I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the ride from now on, and that enjoyment starts by putting pen to paper on a truly wonderful afternoon in SK3 yesterday. If you enjoy today’s article, stay tuned for my big feature next week, as Notts County win 14-0 at Edgeley Park and Mark Stott sells the club to Jason Manford immediately after the final whistle.
Today’s edition is sponsored by Colourtone. As always, a big thank you to Paul.
Finally, I’m currently walking every street in Stockport to raise money for mental health charity Mentell. If you’d like to make a donation to help me reach my target, please click here.
Total distance so far: 46.68 miles
Total steps so far: 83,302
Total raised so far: £1,027
Total completed streets so far: 24 (Click here for the full list, which includes reports and photos from every day of the walk.)
Further information on the walk can be found by clicking here.
Des Junior
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“It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.” So says the jumper of a man on City Road in Chester as I walk past him on my way to the train station. On this final Saturday matchday of 2023, I’m sure County fans would agree with the sentiment of the sweater – indeed my Stockport Sippers Society crew in The Armoury have been on it since 12 – but most would prioritise three points over a tipple.
This penultimate weekend before Christmas would be the most wonderful time for a victory. County haven’t won for a month. On paper, at least today presents the Hatters with their easiest game of the campaign so far. Sutton United are in town – League Two’s bottom club, already a worrying six points from safety, albeit with a game in hand on Colchester in 22nd.
An easy game on paper, but recent form suggests otherwise. As Sutton’s podcast points out on Twitter, it’s “not won in six” versus “unbeaten in five” this afternoon, which feels like it should be the other way round. To offer a little context behind those statistics, Sutton have only won one of those five – a 2-1 victory against managerless Bradford, before drawing four on the spin, three of which were against relegation rivals Colchester, Tranmere and Grimsby.
County, meanwhile, have only lost one league game during those six matches (which is in fact their only league defeat in sixteen). We’ll gloss over the EFL Trophy exit at Wigan, which nobody was arsed about, and the midweek FA Cup defeat to non-league Aldershot, which we were more arsed about, but it was too cold to properly whinge and moan, and at least the January prize on offer was only a trip to West Brom and not one of the big boys.
There’s not been much festive cheer in Stockport this week, but the club are doing their bit to try and raise spirits. Before the game, ‘County’s Friendly Bench’ is unveiled, described as “a dedicated space designed for individuals to sit, inviting conversation and interaction”. It’s another thoughtful initiative from a club currently writing huge cheques but getting the little things right as well.
One imagines the conversations and interactions on that bench between supporters today will be a lot more cordial than the conversations and interactions which took place in the home dressing room on Wednesday night. After County’s first FA Cup defeat to a non-league side for 16 years (as a Football League club), Dave Challinor had the following to say: “I have managed for 14 years, and I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been embarrassed by my side. Tonight was one of them. I get frustrated but I have never been this angry. Based on that, we need a lot of bodies in January.”
Aldershot were certainly worthy of their cup upset, but County were extremely poor on the night. Injuries have been a major hindrance to the side in recent weeks, however, and the County boss only makes two changes for the visit of the U’s. Kyle Knoyle replaces the injured Macauley Southam-Hales, with Tanto Olaofe dropping to the bench, as Neill Byrne comes in with County switching to three at the back.
Any anger amongst County fans on Wednesday night had already dissipated by the time the milkman jumped in his float on Thursday morning. After a phenomenal 12-game winning run earlier in the season, County are still six points clear at the top of League Two going into this afternoon’s game. An FA Cup defeat can be forgiven, but the home fans are clearly desperate for three points today, with tricky games against 3rd, 4th and 6th coming up over the festive period.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard the words “early” and “goal” used on so many occasions as I do before the game. County have got to start well today, to settle the nerves more than anything. Fortunately, the early goal does indeed arrive. Six minutes in, Odin Bailey whips in a free-kick from the left which Ryan Croasdale heads past the visiting keeper.
Against Aldershot on Wednesday, the passing was poor, the crossing was poor, and the finishing was poor. Not today. Far from it. Five minutes later, Paddy Madden plays a wonderful diagonal ball to Knoyle, who executes the perfect cross from the right to Kyle Wootton, lurking in exactly the right place to make it 2-0.
With only 20 minutes on the clock it’s game over. Callum Camps bursts into the box from the left, setting up Croasdale to convert his second and County’s third. Within three minutes, “Are you Wrexham in disguise?” is being belted out from the Cheadle End. It’s 4-0, as Bailey – who’s causing havoc down the right – squares the ball to Madden, who sweeps the ball home.
Sutton are abysmal. Set up in a 4-4-2 formation, they’re playing like a pub team, barely deviating from their shape as County find acres of space between their lines with ease time and time again. You’d actually see a lot more energy and enthusiasm from many players on a Sunday morning, even those whose pre-match sustenance consists of a kebab and ten pints of Guinness.
It’s honestly so, so easy. Even after the break, there’s no improvement from the visitors, as an unmarked and unchallenged Madden deftly heads home an Ibby Touray corner.
This used to be the time of year when you’d see Danny Baker and Nick Hancock videos in HMV, collating all of the best gaffes and blunders from across the footballing world from the last year or so. On 69 minutes, we’re very much in Christmas bloopers territory. Sutton keeper Dean Bouzanis comes so far off his line he ends up at the Bamboo, cocks up his pass, and Joel Cotterill says thank you very much as he whacks the ball into an empty net for his first ever County goal.
I’m being greedy at this point, because I’m desperate for County to press on for a seventh. That’s something I’ve never seen in my lifetime, as the last County septet came way back in September 1965, in a 7-1 win at Bradford. Santa grants my Christmas wish, as Touray crosses from the left for Tanto Olaofe to score against his former club. I’m content now, but a ruthless County are relentless, with Madden scoring from the penalty spot in injury time to complete his hat-trick. That’s the cherry on top of a devilishly rich cake that 8,703 fans have been gorging on all afternoon (minus the 94 from Sutton obviously, who to their credit have stayed supporting their team until the bitter end).
The contrast between leaving Edgeley Park on Wednesday night and this afternoon is remarkable. Christmas has now well and truly started in Stockport. It’s a bloody gr8 time of year.
Give your car a lick of paint
Granted, Stockport used to be a little rough around the edges. But the town’s getting a good old lick of paint these days, with fancy new offices, apartments, bars and restaurants springing up. You can’t be driving up and down the A6 in a tatty car with chipped paintwork, so give your car a nice lick of paint too. Colourtone is your go-to company for that. They’ve been servicing the automotive and industrial markets in Cheshire and Greater Manchester for decades, and carry an extensive range of car paint and industrial paints.
Visit colourtone.com for further details.
Photo of the day
For the Sutton United fan in your life this Christmas…
An away day 8-0 defeat in 19 tweets
Today in SK
🍽 Food and drink
Pop down to The Petersgate Tap (SK1) for a delicious festive pint of Vocation.
Two Sunday Roasts for £20 at The Red Bull (SK1). 12pm - 6pm.
Located next to the lovely canal walk in Romiley, The Spread Eagle (SK6) is the perfect spot to rest those weary legs over a refreshing drink and a delicious carvery. 12pm - 8pm.
Simply Sunday at TRUNK (SK7). Sunday brunch including face painting and colouring competitions. Call 0161 222 9260 to book a table, and mention “The Scarf My Father Wore” to receive a 15% discount off the normal tapas menu.
Sunday dinner at The Flying Coach (SK7). Chicken or steak, served with honey roasted parsnips, mash, roast potatoes, veg, Yorkshires and red wine gravy. Served from 5pm.
🎶 Free jukebox
The Nelson Tavern (SK1). 3pm - 6pm.
The Scarf My Father Wore works closely with venues on a daily basis to bring you the most comprehensive guide to all of the best offers and events taking place across the whole SK region. Click on the links below for full details of everything taking place in your area over the next few weeks.
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DJ Des
Sorry Sutton, I’m not done with the childish eight stuff just yet.
Would you like DJ Des to play a song for your favourite County player, or a friend or family member? Email thescarfmyfatherwore@substack.com with your requests/shoutouts!
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What an afternoon it was. First time visit to the Runaway Brewery and sampled a stunning IPA followed by their ‘Cheers Thank You’ Challinor inspired brew in the courtyard . Best bit of the day was the stunning sunset over the Pop side and oh! A few goals in between the start and finish of the day 👍