“Were we surprised to win promotion? Some of us still are!”
A chat with Dan from Gandermonium ahead of Sutton’s trip to SK3 on Saturday
Thursday 14 December 2023
NEXT HOME GAME: Sutton – Saturday 16 December, 3pm
NEXT AWAY GAME: Barrow – Tuesday 26 December, 3pm
Tomorrow. The Aldershot report can wait until tomorrow.
Let’s try and look forward to the weekend instead. Dan from the brilliant Gandermonium joins us today ahead of Saturday’s top v bottom clash at Edgeley Park. Although if we lose this one as well, Christmas might be cancelled in Stockport before Santa’s even put his thermals on.
A huge thank you to Kev Richardson and Jonathan Baker who both signed up as paid subscribers yesterday. I’m extremely grateful for their support, as I’m going to use that money to pay for a hypnotherapist to try and erase last night’s game from my memory. In return, Kev and Jonathan will receive the following (with loads more stuff to come too):
A free, signed copy of a book on County I’m currently writing (once it’s finished obviously) which will include their name printed in the credits, plus free tickets to the book launch featuring a number of ex-players
Priority booking for live County events, including heavily discounted tickets
Free County merchandise from time to time, plus significant discounts on other items
The Scarf My Father Wore birthday and Christmas cards posted out
To join Kev and Jonathan (and pay for my second hypnotherapy session when Sutton no doubt win at Edgeley Park on Saturday, after Ben Hinchliffe gets injured in the warm-up, Jordan Smith falls over at half-time, and Vernon Bear goes in goal for the second half) please click on the button below.
Today’s edition is sponsored by The Sleep Nanny. A big thank you to Lisa, who specialises in helping children with sleep issues. If your little ones are experiencing any problems in that area, give her a call on 07958 756977 or email lisafoster@sleepnanny.co.uk. (Or if Lisa’s busy, just stick them in front of last night’s BBC coverage. They’ll be out like a light in no time.)
Finally, I’m currently walking every street in Stockport to raise money for mental health charity Mentell. If you’d like to make a donation to help me reach my target, please click here.
Total distance so far: 46.68 miles
Total steps so far: 83,302
Total raised so far: £1,027
Total completed streets so far: 24 (Click here for the full list, which includes reports and photos from every day of the walk.)
Further information on the walk can be found by clicking here.
Des Junior
Let’s start with a quiz question from one of my mates. The Winning Post pub in Sutton is famous for what? (No Googling!)
It’s apparently where The Rolling Stones were ‘spotted’ back in the early 60s. The pub was known as The Red Lion back then, though. Easy one that, as it’s one of those local legends that you need to know to be considered a true resident of this dull bit of suburbia.
Which Sutton is better - Chris or Coldfield?
We’ll go with Coldfield, mainly as one of their local teams is called Sutton United too. That and we can’t stand Chris as a pundit.
Would you rather scrap ULEZ or avoid relegation?
Easy. Avoid relegation. My motor is compliant, so I’m good. And in today’s Britain, “Fuck you, I’m alright Jack” is what counts most of all, right?
Were you surprised to win promotion to League Two?
Were? Some of us still are! Unlike a lot of other ‘ambitious’ non-league sides in the National (we’re looking at you here Solihull, oh and you too Eastleigh), we never once stated a driving, overwhelming and all consuming desire to join the great 92. We just kinda stumbled into it thanks to a bloody good side, few injuries and a bit of luck. And all done on the sort of budget that would make most of the bigger ex-Football League sides down there at the time shit blood.
How would the club be suited to deal with relegation this season?
Well, we’ve not gone shit or bust on the budget, so with some adjustments I think we’d largely be fine. Crowds would take a hit though, as it seems the town wasn’t that fussed pre-‘proper football’ three years ago. The main concern would be to stabilise and make sure we don’t drop straight through. If we do (as looks and feels very likely) go down this season, we certainly won’t be back in a hurry, if ever, that’s for sure.
What do you need to do in the January transfer window to stay up?
For at least one club that isn’t Forest Green to go into administration and to find someone with Ryan Reynolds money.
Seriously though, the midfield has been an absolute disaster this season so at least one central midfielder that isn’t made of biscuits and can either rob a ball, pass to a teammate competently, or both. Definitely not another anonymous defensive midfielder, though. Maybe a wide player that does wide player stuff more than once a game and at least understands the principles of defending. Oh and a left-back, one of those too.
Our biggest problem currently, however, is the run of games we have between now and the window (you, Mansfield, Wombles, Gillingham) and the recent form of sides above us. So we’ll probably be comfortably adrift of safety by then and we could sign Messi and Mbappé for all it’ll really matter.
We haven’t won for six games now, but it’s top v bottom on Saturday. Please can you put our minds at rest that you lot will wrap up three easy Christmas points for us, or are you going to add to our winter headache?
We’re actually unbeaten in five league games ourselves. But only won one of those. And that was with some vaguely fit players. We finished our cup tie against Horsham with one fit defender on the pitch (and he was playing out of position) plus a myriad of other knocks, knacks and hobblers. So we’ll either ship the six or seven we’ve looked likely to on a number of occasions earlier in the season or rob a draw thanks to a scruffy bundler so ugly it would make the baby Jesus cry.
Personally though, anything less than an absolute hiding will do me. More travelling out of habit and a few beers with mates than in any sort of hope/expectation.
How many fans will Sutton bring to Stockport on a Saturday afternoon in mid December?
Despite our abysmal form, especially away from Gander Green Lane, we’ve managed to average over 100 away all season, so I’ll say that. No doubt it’ll be about 50 then as everyone finds something far better to do with their time. The lucky bastards.
Best and worst memories as a Sutton fan?
Best is a tough one to be honest. When you’ve been watching this lot as long as I have, there’s been so many. We’re not a big club, but we’ve had more than our share of good times and it changes with the mood! On this occasion, I’ll go with the trips to Airdrie and Bohemians in the Irn Bru Cup in 2018-19. Wonderfully daft competition and some great memories.
Worst is probably the way our 2016-17 FA Cup run ended. No one talked about how we took a top six side all the way with a performance Arsene Wenger himself described as “astonishing”. Nope, it was all about the fucking pie. Which was actually a pasty anyway. Still, top banter eh?
What’s your thoughts on Stockport County - A) the club B) the manager C) the fans
Club? No offence, but meh. Don’t dislike, no reason to. Don’t love either! It’s an alright day out though, done far worse. Fair play to getting back to the Football League from the depths of the sixth tier though. Can’t argue with that. A lot of clubs would have pissed the budget up the wall and still been in the National flailing around.
Manager? Never had a problem with Mr Challinor. Decent gaffer at this level and showed a lot of class with Hartlepool when we blew them away to seal the National League title at GGL. Hung around to watch the presentations and congratulated Matt heartily after apparently. Also not one of those Poundshop Peps who seem to think that anything but the purest of tiki-taka being employed by Fourth Division teams to win games of football is some sort of personal affront.
Fans? Never had an issue. Always been sound when we’ve visited and had no bother in the pubs on matchday.
Prediction for Saturday?
Can’t see past a home win, probably by a couple of goals.
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For the second consecutive Wednesday night, a cold and miserable cup exit
Photo of the day
Maine Road, Manchester
Citeh’s squad photo ahead of the 1985-86 season. Loads of County connections on this one: Mark Lillis, Jim Melrose, Paul Simpson and Sammy McIlroy.
Today in SK
🥘 Food and drink
Lunch deal at The Dog & Partridge (SK2). One course for £7 or two courses for £11. 12pm - 2pm.
Lite bite meal deal at The Friary (SK3). Cod or haddock, served with chips, and a side of peas, curry or gravy. Plus tea or coffee. £9.95. 11.30am - 7.30pm.
Taster Thursday at TRUNK (SK7). Three tapas dishes and a glass of sangria for £20 from 5pm. Call 0161 222 9260 to book a table, and mention “The Scarf My Father Wore” to receive a 15% discount off the normal tapas menu.
Enjoy a taste of India with Curry Thursday at Platform 5 (SK8). £14.45 for a curry, which includes rice, naan bread, poppadoms, mango chutney and a drink. 12pm - 8pm.
🎶 Free jukebox
Nelson Tavern (SK1). From 6.30pm.
🎱 Free pool
George & Dragon (SK7). 6pm - 9pm.
❓ Quiz night
Cheshire Line Tavern (SK8). 8pm. £3 per person. Cash prizes and vouchers for the winners, runners-up and team finishing second to last. Food available before the quiz, including two meals for £20.
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Despite the recent dip in County’s form and the many injuries I agree County should win by two clear goals.