The king has had his coronation, now let’s have the Wimbledon summation…
The Dons are loving being back home in Merton, but they’ve not had much to shout about on the pitch this season, finishing just five points above the drop
Sunday 21 May 2023
What the hell is Des Junior going on about Wimbledon for? Is he not aware something pretty bloody special took place in SK3 yesterday?
Yes. Yes, he is. He’s very much aware of that fact, because thanks to a couple of blokes called Tanto and Jack (plus Ben, and the rest of the lads), he fell off the wagon yesterday – having not touched a drop of alcohol in 2023 – and is now suffering very much this afternoon. (Don’t worry, he’s not an alcoholic or anything. He just fancied a few months off it, as the hangovers get worse and worse these days, but it’s not every day you get to Wembley…)
As a result of his vodka-fuelled Saturday night in The Prince Albert and Bask (before sitting in McDonald’s with Clint Hill and a lot of drunk County fans singing “Que sera sera” at 2am), he’s not got the energy to write anything himself today. So today’s main feature is the next instalment of our 2022-23 review, with Plough Lane tour guide, Ray Armfield.
I’d like to say a big thank you to Paul and all the team at Colourtone for sponsoring today’s edition. See below for further details on what they have to offer.
Enjoy today’s issue.
Des Junior
PS) Actually, he did have the energy to write something today…
Had King Charles invited you to his coronation celebrations, and insisted you brought him the best food you’d experienced inside a League Two ground this season, what would you have treated him to?
I’d have let him sample my regular pre-match Plough Lane fayre, which is a pie from My Pie – purveyors of the finest edible wares in South London.
Charles is now king of the UK. But who would you choose to be crowned king of Plough Lane, and who would be locked up in the tower? You can pick anybody who’s had some sort of connection with the club this season.
The King of Plough Lane is currently our Iraqi Scouser Ali Al-Hamadi, who rode into town in January and lit the place up with 10 goals in 19 games (in a struggling side).
Into the tower goes Chris Gunter. Swanned off to the World Cup for a month (which I was fine with) and then swanned off again for a coaching jolly with Wales when we were desperately short of players, confidence, experience, and wins, missing more games (which I wasn't fine with). And then retired.
Best moment of 2022-23?
I'm tempted to say the end of it, but if I had to pick a game it would be beating champions Leyton Orient 2-0 at Plough Lane. For once, everything seemed to come together for us. But it was a false dawn given how the rest of the season panned out.
Worst moment of 2022-23?
God, where to start? Probably Crawley at home on my birthday. We lost 1-0 – the only shot on target in the whole game.
Funniest moment of 2022-23?
Funniest? We didn't laugh much this season that's for sure. But the Stevenage “firm” trying to wind us up at both matches were more like Sesame Street than Green Street.
Four Four Two said you’d finish 12th. When Saturday Comes said you’d finish 13th. You finished 21st. Discuss.
Few expected us to go straight back up but most of hoped for at least mid-table and a season of not looking down and worrying. And we didn't end up with that either.
County 1 Wimbledon 0 in September. Wimbledon 1 County 0 in January. Thoughts?
Our first win (of just two) in 2023, with a Nik Tzanev penalty save. It leapfrogged us over you into 10th and we got a bit giddy after that.
I didn't see the game at your place but your winner was an unmarked header (something of a trademark for us regarding goals conceded). I'm told we didn't get a late stonewall penalty. Ho hum.
Best and worst away days of 2022-23?
I saw us win 2-1 at Colchester with a late winner which was enjoyable.
Worst… so many to choose from. We were dire in the FA Cup draw at Weymouth, who could easily have beaten us. Others will point to going 2-0 up at Mansfield before losing 5-2.
After decades travelling around the world, Sir David Attenborough’s most recent BBC documentary covered Great Britain. Let’s imagine David and his crew have been filming Wimbledon fans throughout the 2022-23 season. In that famous voice of his, how would he describe them?
“The tribe are constantly squabbling with themselves for dominance, while the alpha males yawn, scratch their arses and wonder what's for dinner."
With Wrexham up and MK Dons down, there’s a couple of teams coming into League Two who generally cause quite a lot of debate wherever they go. You’re on Moonpig.com buying a welcome card for both of them. What messages are going inside?
For the latter it's "Where were you when you were us?" which has already been a chant and a flag.
For the former it's "Please can we have Ollie Palmer back?"
Click on the links below to read the previous 2022-23 reviews we’ve published so far.
Grimsby / Mansfield / Newport / Sutton / Tranmere
Give your car a lick of paint
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Visit colourtone.com for further details.
Photo of the day
Wembley Stadium, London
Only one Stockport County manager has tasted victory at Wembley. Let’s hope this time next week he’s not the only bloke in that club.
Today in SK
🎤 Live music from solo acoustic performer Carl Morris at The Armoury (SK3). 6.30pm.
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