The king has had his coronation, now let’s have the Crawley summation…
The cryptos are still with us… just
Wednesday 7 June 2023
NEXT HOME GAME: Huddersfield - Saturday 22 July, 3pm
NEXT AWAY GAME: Lincoln (in Spain!) - Friday 7 July, 12pm
Dear County fans, Stopfordians, and any Crawley supporters joining us today, a very warm welcome to your Wednesday edition of The Scarf My Father Wore.
Crawley fan Dan Jones joins us today as our 2022-23 review reaches the halfway point. 12 down, 12 to go.
Today’s edition of The Scarf My Father Wore is sponsored by Radial Fire and Security. A big thank you to Dan. See below for further details.
Enjoy today’s issue.
Des Junior
Had King Charles invited you to his coronation celebrations, and insisted you brought him the best food you’d experienced inside a League Two ground this season, what would you have treated him to?
I’d have to say the pie, mash, peas and gravy from Edgeley Park. Couldn’t have hit the spot on a cold Tuesday night in February any better, certainly more so than whatever the fuck a “coronation quiche” is.
Charles is now king of the UK. But who would you choose to be crowned king of the Broadfield Stadium, and who would be locked up in the tower? You can pick anybody who’s had some sort of connection with the club this season.
The King of the Broadfield Stadium would absolutely be Scott Lindsey. He came in at the height of hostilities between the fans and owners and not only secured survival in difficult circumstances but has been able to transcend the hatred of ownership and forge a trust in the playing squad that had been absent since the John Yems saga unfolded. He could crash and burn next season and there would still only be fond feelings towards the gaffer (presuming that he does so without being accompanied by a dossier of racial abuse).
The place in the tower could be occupied by any of the clowns whose Ted Lasso fantasies we’ve been subjected to this season, but due to his love of being in front of a camera and his obnoxious facial hair Preston Johnson wins out.
Best moment of 2022-23?
Dom Telford capping off a difficult season by pulling one of the best first touches you will ever see and sealing the points in our relegation six-pointer at Hartlepool. The away ends have been so hostile so often this season but that was unbridled joy.
Worst moment of 2022-23?
Preston Johnson inserting himself in the dugout for the game at Stevenage following Matthew Etherington’s departure. Not only was the resultant atmosphere easily the most poisonous I’ve ever experienced as a Crawley fan (chants about his recent cancer diagnosis were a particular lowlight) but a furious mob then gathered for over an hour outside the Lamex Stadium which Johnson’s attempt at dispersal unsurprisingly did not remedy. Nobody came out well from that affair but particularly in the direct aftermath of Tom Nichols’ sale being announced, that night felt like the point at which the relationship between the owners and fans became irreparable.
Funniest moment of 2022-23?
It certainly wasn’t anything on the pitch – this season has put me through many emotions but humour did not feature prominently. The attached video of the EFL highlights show catching some over-exuberant celebrations from one of our fans is probably the closest thing.
Four Four Two said you’d finish 14th. When Saturday Comes said you’d finish 20th. You finished 22nd. Discuss.
I think there was a lot of guesswork going into people’s pre-season predictions; a rookie manager, an influx of unheralded loanees, and uncertainty over the specifics of the ownership model meant that journalists were varyingly predicting us to be in the promotion picture, relegation picture and pretty much everywhere in between with some sort of reasonable justification. I think people were putting too great an emphasis on the noise coming from the boardroom though and were largely glossing over what was on paper a pretty dysfunctional squad stuck between two very different regimes, so despite this season having been pretty damn close to the worst case scenario I think the WSC prediction was always more likely to be accurate.
Crawley 3 County 2 in September. County 2 Crawley 1 in February. Thoughts?
The 3-2 was a weird game of football. Chris Hussey’s free-kick was the only real moment of quality with Vit Jaros being the major contributor towards Kevin Betsy’s only league win.
I think we played much better on our maiden trip to Edgeley Park, going ahead through a Jack Powell free-kick and keeping the ball pretty well all game. Kyle Wootton capitalised on a couple of lapses in defensive concentration though and 155 travelling Crawley fans were left wondering if this was really the best use of their Valentine’s Day night.
Best and worst away days of 2022-23?
Honourable mention to AFC Wimbledon, which due to its geographical proximity and the fact that it was our first away win for almost 12 months would have been a highlight in any other season, but the 2-0 win at Hartlepool was the most important in our Football League history and the outpouring of joyous relief at full-time from fans and players alike was incredible.
The worst was Barrow away – we lost 4-0 and had to spend the day in Barrow.
After decades travelling around the world, Sir David Attenborough’s most recent BBC documentary covered Great Britain. Let’s imagine David and his crew have been filming Crawley throughout the 2022-23 season. In that famous voice of his, how would he describe them?
“The wounded crypto dipshits have escaped the wrath of the Crawley fans on this occasion, but with their resources greatly diminished and displeasure growing their downfall appears to be inevitable.”
With Wrexham up and MK Dons down, there’s a couple of teams coming into League Two who generally cause quite a lot of debate wherever they go. You’re on Moonpig.com buying a welcome card for both of them. What messages are going inside?
I don’t think Moonpig would send either out of fear of breaching the Malicious Communications Act of 1988.
Click on the links below to read the previous 2022-23 reviews we’ve published so far.
Carlisle / Grimsby / Leyton Orient / Mansfield / Newport / Northampton / Rochdale / Sutton / Swindon / Tranmere / Wimbledon
Get in touch with Radial Fire and Security
As you know, we like to have a laugh and a joke at The Scarf My Father Wore, but something like fire protection is a serious matter, so we’ll get straight down to business. Radial Fire and Security are a leading commercial fire safety company with over 20 years’ experience, operating throughout the UK, specialising in the supply and service of a variety of different ranges of fire protection equipment. If you’re looking for cover, or simply to obtain some further information, give Dan a call today.
Visit radialfire.co.uk for further details.
Photo of the day
Future County manager Carlton Palmer playing for England. I can’t work out whether this is the greatest piece of skill ever seen on a football pitch, or whether Carlton has absolutely no idea where the ball is. I’ll let you decide for yourself…
Today in SK
☕️ Food and drink ☕️
Fancy a few midweek drinks tonight? The Nelson Tavern (SK1) have a great range of offers throughout the week, including £4.50 for drinks off the Doubles Bar, a comprehensive range of shots for £2, and 3 for £6 on Jägerbombs.
For those on a gluten-free diet, finding a nice portion of fish and chips to tuck into can be quite difficult. But on a Wednesday at Fishers of Cheshire (SK2), gluten-free meals are available. Open till 9.30pm.
The Armoury (SK3) have just launched their new cocktail menu. Mark Stott definitely wouldn’t mind a Red Wine Cobbler, and Lee Todd’s going to be getting stuck into a Lounge Lizard or two. There’s eight cocktails to try in total; head down today to see which one tickles your tastebuds!
Wine Wednesday at TRUNK (SK7) from 5pm. 50% off all bottles of wine from 7pm.
The Scarf My Father Wore works closely with venues on a daily basis to bring you the most comprehensive guide to all of the best offers and events taking place across the whole SK region. Click on the links below for full details of everything taking place in your area over the next few weeks.
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